LOVE, LEIA (letters to tom) • Tom Holland au •

THIRTY TWO

Rage took over Leia's body- it took over her mind. She wasn't thinking nor was she seeing things straight. Everything was a blur after she had read the letter. Tom's hand placed comfortingly on her lap, studying her expressions, waiting for a reaction. After all, silence have always been deadly.

"Leia, I-" Tom started, concern filled him as he noticed Leia's unstable emotions. Even though Leia had told him to read the letter with her, he'd chosen to go against it. It was a tempting offer as he thought it would clear some of his assumptions regarding Leia's past, although he felt as if he was invading a line, as if he wasn't worthy to know that much. Considering that Leia had to live almost all of her teenage years in doubt and in misery thinking everything her mother had told her was true yet then being confirmed to be a lie.

"we have to go see him, Tom" she whispered, tears forming and ready to spill.

Tom simply just nodded, grabbing her hand in his and leading her towards Jimmy, who had claimed to be waiting by the door in case Leia would change her mind.

Not a word was needed for Jimmy to know that she'd want to see her dad, all it took was a nod from Tom and an over all look at Leia's frantic state. He lead them towards the car and drove them as quickly as possible to the hospital.

It seemed as if rage wasn't the appropriate emotion that Leia should be feeling upon reading that letter, but despite her trying to feel differently, rage was the only thing she felt. But this time she felt it towards her mother. She wasn't sure what made her believe the letter right away, but she just felt as if Jesus had come down from heaven to slap her hard and give her a wake up call. She just knew that it was real. It did make the perfect sense after all.

"I just can't believe it." she shook her head, making Tom snap out of his thoughts and wait for her to continue.

"can't believe what, love?" he encouraged after a moment of painful silence.

"she lied to me. All along, she told me that we were his first family, and that dad had left us because he'd gotten another girl pregnant." she shook her head yet again, still in disbelief. "she told me that we were the victims. But she lied" a tear escaped her eye and Tom was quick to wipe it off, only for another one to fall.

"shh, hey- Leia, everything's going to be fine" he calmed her, or at least he tried

"but it's not though!" she yelled, making Tom wince at the sudden raise of her voice. "because now he's gone! And my mom is a- she's a-" Leia stuttered, unsure of what word to use to describe her mother. "she's a snake!" her eyebrows furrowed and Tom tried to pull her into a hug, but she was frantic, her breathing was way too fast for her own good and she was just a mess.

"My dad's gone, my sister thinks it's my fault, and fuck's sake! my mom is a fucking snake! who do I have left?" she screamed at the top of her lungs, finally letting all her emotions flood out of her chest. At the same time, Tom was panicking inside. He'd never seen Leia in a state like this before, heck, even Jimmy was panicking. Tom had never heard Leia scream this loud, let alone curse. Leia hated cursing and she hated it whenever someone was cursing around her because she felt as if it was full of hate and she's always thought of it as an act of hatred. So seeing her sitting there in the car, sobbing, face red due to raging anger, he honestly didn't know how to deal with the situation.

Tom understood though, he completely understood why Leia was acting that way. To have the news that your father died and knowing that your mother had been feeding you lies all along to turn you against your father at the same day was just way too much for anyone to handle. Even more so for a seventeen year old highschool student.

"who do I have, Tom?" she cried, her voice barely above a whisper, cracking every now and then.

"Leia, listen to me" Tom said sternly as Leia fell into a sobbing fit. Grabbing her chin gently and raising her head so their eyes met, he said: "you have me" then he pulled her into a hug, afraid that if he let go, she'd fall into an even deeper pit of darkness and that he'll lose her.

"you have me, okay? No matter what happens, you have me" he repeated himself, assuring her that he was not going anywhere.

"how do I know that you're not going to leave me like everyone else?"

"because I love you, Leia. And I know that you're an incredibly strong woman, and we're going to get through this, okay?" and that shut her up. Tom had once again been the hero. He'd planted faith into her heart, giving her hope that amidst all the pain she was going through, in him she found comfort. In him she found love. With him she felt loved.