LOVE, LEIA (letters to tom) • Tom Holland au •

THIRTY THREE

Leia stood at the very back during her father's funeral. People wearing black were all around her and truthfully, she just wanted all of them to leave. She didn't know any of the people who came. None except for Tom, who's hand never left hers, and her father's family. She remembers seeing Brad and his family being there as well, apparently he was saying the truth when he claimed that his father amd hers were close friends. But she barely paid attention to them.

Keliana was very hostile still, but Leia didn't complain— she couldn't. She knew very well that her sister was grieving and she had no right to judge regarding on how she chose to cope with her loss. Besides, Leia was partly blaming herself anyway.

She felt as if it was unfair to Winona and her children, considering that Leia grew up practically hating her father's very existence, and now here she was, eyes bloodshot from crying and voice hoarse.

If only she had thought outside of the box. If only she had given him a chance, then maybe she'd have been able to show him that despite the lack of connection, deep inside, she still loved him.

The letter was messing with what seemed like her last two functioning brain cells. All throughout the day, it's the only thing she's been thinking about.

If Matthew claimed to love her, then why was he so mean? Why did it seem as if he didn't care?

Was her mother lying to her all this time?

She didn't know what to believe. But her heart was leaning towards believing her father more than her mother. She wasn't sure if it was purely because she just lost him and that she needed something good to hold onto, or if it was because she just felt the sincerity of the written letter.

Her mother was nowhere to be seen during the funeral, she called saying she wouldn't be able to make it. Which made Leia want to believe the letter even more.

"You know you're gonna have to go back to New York soon, right?" Leia spoke softly, her thumb twiddling around with Tom's.

"I'd rather not talk about that now" Tom frowned, glancing down at Leia, who's eyes were bloodshot red from crying.

It hurt him to see her like that. It felt as if he could feel her pain— like he just wanted to hold her in his arms until she's stable.

"well, we're gonna have to anyway." she chuckled bitterly. "you promised your mom that you'd be home after three days. And it's been three days." she shrugged.

"I told you, I'd rather not talk about it"

"and I'm telling you now, that life goes on and I can't be the one to hold you back from living it" Tom sighed as Leia insisted on continuing the topic

"I am living my life, Leia. Just drop it" Tom stated sternly. He was not having it

"by what? Being here holding your mess of a girlfriend while she mourns for the father she never had? Bullshit" Leia scoffed.

Tom couldn't even believe what was coming out of her mouth anymore. It's almost as if it weren't Leia he was talking to. She wasn't herself and he could see that very clearly. Heck, she curses now too!

"can you even hear yourself? I get it, you're hurting, but that doesn't give you a free pass to push me away. I'm supposed to be here for you, Leia. I'm not going anywhere-"

"no! You're going back to New York and you're going back to school and you're going to live your life like any other eighteen year old out there!" Leia bit back, her voice raising as rage took over her. She wasn't even sure why she was so mad. She didn't know what pushed her to her limits. Was it her mom? Was it the letter? Was it Keliana's constant glare towards her? She didn't know. She just snapped like that and she didn't know how to control it. It was only unfortunate for Tom to be the receiving end of her rage.

"why are you pushing me away, Leia? Why now when you obviously need me the most?" Tom frowned, he knew better than to fight back. He knew that she was only hurting. He knew that if ever this was her way of grieving, he'll take it. He'll understand.

"I'm sorry" Leia then started sobbing, she was an emotional wreck. One second she's laughing, then the other she's mad, then you blink and she's crying. It was as if someone had the remote control for her emotions and they're playing her by pressing random buttons just for the sake of it.

"hey... It's alright. C'mere" Tom cooed, pulling her into a tight embrace, hoping to make her feel better for even just the slightest bit.

"Leia?" both Leia and Tom look up in surprise only to see Winona standing a few feet away from them with a man they both have never seen before.

"Leia, this is Mark, your dad's lawyer. We wish to have a word with you in private, please"