The Return

Chapter 27

"What?" she said so quietly.

The reason why I didn't want to see her was because I didn't want her to see me in this state. Even though I did choose to have her in my life I felt guilty to Hoseok's memory. The fact that she was that important to me surprised me. I needed time to sort out how I felt. How important she is.

I didn't mean for her to think that she had done something wrong. That I was trying to get rid of her.

I need her presence more then anything and that scares me.

Making that decision back at the lab and then seeing my friend destroyed a second time was just too much for me to process emotionally.

"I chose you..." I repeated to her.

She seemed so confused.

I wanted to cry more, the re-opened wound was still fresh in my heart. I didn't want her to see me cry but I guess fate had a funny way of showing it. It made it so that she would catch me outside her apartment.

She sensed my distress and pulled me into her warmth.

"It's going to be okay..." she said. Soothing my pain, a little more every time she said it.

I allowed myself to feel her to know I wasn't alone in this. I had support. I don't need to shut myself out from the world. Not again.

I wrapped my arms around her waist. As I was taller then her, I was positioned lower on the bed so that she could completely embrace me in a way that made me feel safe from the world.

Safe from my own mind.

"Do you hate me for pushing you away?" I asked once I was calmer.

"I don't think I could ever hate you. Everyone deals with pain differently. I can't hate you for needing space. I'm just happy you're trying. That's all I could hope for." Her words meant so much to me in this moment of weakness. I tightened my embrace slightly without thinking about it. I just wanted her to be closer to me.

She played with my hair in a way that made me relax even more, allowing me to finally shut my eyes. To finally allow myself to rest.

Maybe I can finally let go of him. Let go of my survivors' guilt.

Finally love myself...

...

I woke up and I was still in her arms. I looked up to see her face. She was sleeping.

Without startling her I propped myself up and looked at her more closely, gently moving her hair out of her face.

She seemed to be resting peacefully but I could see her eyelids seemed a bit irritated. Was she crying, and I didn't notice? Or was she just tired from working so much? I heard a lot of the renovation work in the library while I was in my room. I wonder what kind of changes they're making.

She didn't have to work so hard just to change my future, my friend's future. It's something Jimin and I have talked about before, but we never really set our plans into motion.

The three of them, Tae included were working so hard while I was unresponsive.

It's about time I try to make this dream become a reality.

...

A month has passed. I had looked at some of the renovations briefly, but my main job was to look for new applicants to work for us. We needed a team, a good team. I was so busy searching and secretly promoting our company in my office I never really had time to know what else was changing outside my doors.

I trusted the others to do everything correctly.

I was happy that Jimin and Tae were accepting of my two-week hiatus. They understood why I needed to push them away.

Yumi was always hard at work with the renovations in the lab. With a mind like hers I expect it to be one of the best labs in the city.

She always comes home later at night covered in black grease and sometimes cuts from metal that healed quickly. She was always exhausted, but she never seemed to complain. I always told her she didn't need to work so hard that a lab is really complicated to make perfectly, but she was always adamant about doing it.

We did try to go out on a date, but we were both always exhausted from our days that we ended up just relaxing in our apartment if we were awake at the same time. I suck at making that move closer to her. With everyday that passes I worry she will stop caring. Or maybe I'm just not good enough for her. She deserves the best. I'm trying to heal myself and to feel like I'm better but, I'm struggling in my confidence. All these years of shutting myself out and trying to distract myself from my pain I've lost a lot of sureness in myself.

I clicked through all of the job applications but only approved of a few for interviews during the week.

My office door just opened wide. Yumi didn't even knock to let me know she was there. I jolted upright shocked by her entrance.

She wasn't dirty like she usually is after leaving the lab. She did seem tired but also excited at the same time.

"It's finished!" she smiled.

"The lab?"

"Yes! come and see it!" she grabbed my arm and pulled me out of my seat.

Tae and Jimin were exiting the labs doors and they both looked at Yumi.

"It's amazing! good job!" Tae high-fived her with his robot arm.

"Best lab I have seen!" Jimin said.

"Ready?" she asked me excitedly.

I nodded my head not sure of what I should expect.

I walked through the doors and was instantly amazed. It was the lab anyone would dream of. She showed me every detail. All the scenarios we could encounter in the future could be dealt with here.

The lab was also twice the original size. What I also thought was amazing was how colorful it was. instead of being typically sterile white it was more advanced in a sense.

"Here is the last thing I want to show you." she tried and failed at not smiling.

There were two curtains hiding a section of the lab, I assume it would be a place to put people and cyborgs when they are being healed after a mission.

She opened them up revealing that area of the room.

I gasped, surprised to see a person standing there.

I was greeted by his unforgettably warm heart-shaped smile.

"Hoseok..."