Even Though You Won't Be Mine °rosé

ch; 29

°SELF CONTROL

Not only his smile disappeared, but his lip had quivered into a thin line not knowing what to make of the situation before him. He felt like exploding right there, right at that moment, fist clenching.

BE.PATIENT.

He was so close to wrenching her out of his grasp and punch him to death because that would be careless. He took a deep breath and sighed, letting his hands relax.

"J-Jungkook..." apparently, his sigh didn't go unheard. "I c-can explain-"

"You don't have to explain anything Roseanne," usually that would be Jungkook's line but this time it came out of Jaehyun's mouth, surprising him as he grabbed him by his collar and pushed him against the wall. "How dare you come here?! Isn't hurting Roseanne enough?!"

"Jaehyun, let go of him!" Roseanne said, her voice hoarse still, prying Jaehyun's hands away from Jungkook.

"After what he did? What he said? What he called you?!" He glanced at her then glared at Jungkook who was just wearing a blank face. "You're still defending him?!"

Jaehyun couldn't think of anything else until he saw Jungkook already on the ground with a bleeding lip, tended by Roseanne. He had punched him but he remained expressionless, adding fire to Jaehyun's rage.

"Jaehyun, we'll talk later," Roseanne looked at him, a disappointed look evident in her face. He was saddened at that. No matter what, he can't replace or compete with him, can he? "Thank you for visiting."

Before he knew it, he was already outside the apartment with a frowning - more like disappointed Roseanne sending him home.

"I appreciate it Jaehyun, thank you," she smiled but he knew it was forced. After he punched Jungkook, he kinda knew he was in for some shit.

"Roseanne, I-I'm sorry," he said shakily, wiping his face with his hands scared of the look Roseanne was wearing. Not scared scared, but scared-for-their-friendship scared. "I was so m-mad - I don't know what came to me. Please forgive me."

"I can't blame you Jaehyun," she said, smiling a little. "Though I am thankful of you for everything, for being there, I can't help but be dis-"

There. What Jaehyun dreaded to hear.

She cut herself before she could utter the whole sentence suddenly thinking it might come put harsher than she intended. "I thought you'd understand," she whispered, looking down. "I care about him, he's my friend. I don't want my friends hurting each other, ironic as it sounds. I thought you'd really understand since I already told you everything."

"But even though you hurt him, he doesn't need to-"

"That's how he is Jaehyun," she looked up at him with drilling eyes. "He was hurt and acted irrationally out of his feelings, sometimes like a child-"

She stopped and looked at him with glistening eyes, worrying Jaehyun. "I-I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't mean to push you away, I..."

Before she could blame herself, he hugged her and smiled. "I'll see you in class," he pulled away. "Don't blame yourself, eat and sleep, don't over-think. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry," she whispered, tears falling down her face. Why does it look like you need to push someone away for somebody else? Why can't she get along with both?

"Hey," he lifted her chin up. "We'll talk again so stop crying. I'm not apologizing to Jungkook cause he deserves it. Go in, I'll leave after."

Then she closed the door, taking heavy breaths as she heard Jaehyun's sobs as well as he left. She was more guilty than ever. Why does she have to hurt everybody?

"You're crying," she gasped seeing Jungkook at the end of the hallway and abruptly wiping her tear stained face with her shirt.

"Please sit down, I'll get something to patch your lip up," she smiled like nothing happened.

How about your lips? He thought, but didn't dare say it as his face tinted.

When she returned, she couldn't help but feel sorry for everything. She knew most of her friends were blaming Jungkook, but he was hurt too. It's something she felt guilty for. The boy in front of her is just as hurt as she was, that's why she couldn't blame him or stay mad at him which surprised her.

She flinched when he felt his fingers on her face, wiping away the tears she didn't know was falling. She missed him and their interactions before everything else went shit.

"I'm sorry," he broke the silence, staring at her and she stopped dabbing the piece of cotton on his lips. "I'm sorry for making you cry."

He didn't open the topic of why Jaehyun was there earlier, why they were hugging. BE.PATIENT. He was trying it out, just like he should be as Jimin said.

"I'm sorry for calling you names that you are not, that's not yours," he said, his touch never leaving her face. "I'm sorry for hurting you for my own selfish reasons."

She shook her head, tears dropping quickly. "I should be the one apologizing," she chuckled. "I hurt you many times, you didn't deserve it."

Jungkool smiled. "I guess we both hurt each other," he said. "But I think I hurt you the most, I don't know how to make it up to you cause I know my apology alone can't make up for every shit I caused. So tell me how, I'll do anything."

Because I don't want seeing you cry. Every tear i precious and I don't deserve any of it. I want to see your smile and laugh with me, I want you to always be cheerful even if you try to murder me sometimes because that's what you are. It hurts me, I hate it that you're being this way because of me. I'd endure every retaliation you have, back to where we'd always argue over pointless things. Not like this fight. I want to be a friend to you if not more than that.

"I..." he was scared of what she was going to say, thinking possible statements already rushing out of her mouth that might actually say ''dpmt talk to me again'. "I want us to be friends again, I don't want you to leave me."

"That can be arranged," he smiled, wider than before. "And I'll support you with your dates, I should at least do that. I'll let Jaehyun or Daniel, have you and make you happy. It's what I want."

She frowned. "We're not together anymore," she said, surprising Jungkook.

"Since when?"

"Around before you started hanging out with Chaeyeon," she said.

"And Jaehyun?"

"He's just my friend," she giggled, melting his heart that she was smiling again in front of him. "You know you'd actually understand everything if you only talked and listened to me first."

He laughed. "I know," he said. "I'm such a jerk, I don't know what came over me."

Lies.

"I'm just happy I'm seeing you smile again," he sighed in content and relief. "Tell me anything you want, I'll make it all up to you."

He was elated. She wasn't with anyone. Jimin was right, patience. He did know about it but he thought he needed to experience all of it for this. He regret what he did, but it already happened and he learned a lot. From Jimin mostly because he let every fvcking feeling and emotion get the best of him.

And he would do anything to make the girl in front of her smile no matter what, even if he isn't the one reason for all of her smile. Every smile is worth it.

"A hug would be a start," she smiled, it was contagious that he can't help but smile too. "And it would be appreciated if you don't leave me."

SHOULD I MAKE THIS INTO A DREAM? HMMM 🤔🤔🤔