She's Dating The Teacher

Chapter 34

'James Henry Summers'

Born on September 19, 1992

Death on March 01, 2014

I read his gravestone and placed the basket of roses on his gravestone. I promised I won't cry infront of James. "Hey, hey, hey. James, how's it there? I hope your fine. I hope that your not gonna scare me or anything," Hayley began. Hayley gave out a huge smile at James and suddenly she just bursted out into tears "I miss you. I miss laughing with you James, I miss it when your the one who teaches me Math problems and physics. I miss waking up in the morning because of your cooking, I miss eating with you, I miss looking at you and I miss you teasing me." Hayley sobbed.

Lex moved beside Hayley and wrapped her around his arms. "I miss him, Lex." Hayley cried. Lex breathed in deeply "Me too." Lex answered sadly. My heart crumbled as I saw Hayley cry it felt like James was crying too. "I'll just get in the car." Hayley said and walked away.

As Hayley walked away. I took it as an opportunity to speak out. I crouched and plaved my hand on James' gravestone. "Hey, I miss you. I'm so sorry it took me 5 years before I could actually visit you. It's been hard without you, everytime you don't pop out into my mind something just comes in making me remember you. I don't want to forget you but I don't want to live this way. I miss you everyday. I remember your words, your laugh and even your smile. Sometimes, I wish it was me that died and not you. I blame myself everyday." I couldn't help myself but to cry as I said those words to James. I imagined him near me now, holding my hand.

Lex pulled me up and wrapped me around hos arms. Lex wiped my tears "Jane, you have to let go of him now." Lex said. I raised an eyebrow. "How?" I answered. Lex moved beside me and looked at me seriously. I felt so cold.

There was a bit pause of silence. "Do you believe he's still alive?" Lex suddenly said. What he said caught my attention. Does that mean he belives James isn't gone? "Do you?" I asked. Lex looked at me in frustration "But I do believe he's in a better place." Lex answered. "Me too. And I know James want me to continue my life. He wants me to move on. I am moving on but I can never forget him." I explained. Lex moved infront of me. "Who ever said about forgetting? We can never forget him, Jane. But we can make a new start, a new beginning." Lex explained.

Lex moved closer to infront of me as he reached out and held my hand. I trust Lex the way I trust James and when James was gone Lex was the only guy whom proved to me how to stay. Lex stayed and he was there for me. And Lex supported me like he's more than just a friend. And it feels like Lex is more than just any other friend. "Thank you, Lex. For helping me and being there." I answered. Lex softly smiled and held my hand tighter.

"I've seen you grown up to this stage and I admire your strength, your courage, your faithfulness and the way you are, Jane.  I won't leave you, I promise." Lex said. "Why?" I suddenly said. I was a bit stunned on what I asked. I don't know where that came from. "Because... I... Because you're the best influence in the people around you and you're the best influence in me too. And you're someone I don't want to lose." Lex answered then he slowly tilted his head and pulled me closer and kissed my forehead.

I couldn't answer. I just looked straight into his eyes as he stared onto mine. I don't really understand but somehow for a minute everything felt perfect, safe, and just painless. Like all the pain just jumped off from my chest and I felt alive again.

I feel alive. I'm letting go now, maybe it's what James want me to do. "I'm letting go." I answered to Lex and bit my lips forcing myself not to burst into cries. Lex pulled me and gave me an embrace as he moved his hand on my head pulling me tighter as he whispered "Don't cry, please."