gay one shots | ✔️

shot nine: immortality costs pain

Joshua POV

"Okay, well, I'll see you in what, a few hours?"

"Oh, come on, you know I don't take that long," Andrew whines, but grins like he knows it's true: he does take hours upon hours shopping for food.

I smirk unsympathetically. "Alright, more than a few hours," I had him the bags. "I love you."

He kisses me. "I love you too," then leaves with a smile, closing the door behind him. He's definitely up to something. It was my turn to go shopping this week.

I go to the kitchen and look in the fridge to see what's left of anything in there. Some mildly takeout, an apple, a note. A note?

I take the note out and read what's inside.

Don't eat anything yet. Go to the bedroom. There's something there for you.

My breath caught in my throat. What could it be? I dearly hoped it wasn't a ring, because I wasn't ready for marriage. Not yet.

But I walked down the hallway of our flat anyway, cautiously, as though as not to make to much noise. I didn't know what I was scared of. I slowly opened the door and saw a box on the bed, marked with my name.

I approached the small cardboard box and saw that there was a small note attached to the top. It read:

My dearest Joshua,
Please remember.
I love you,
From Andrew

I set both notes aside, utterly confused, but shrugged and opened the box anyway. Inside were photo albums, marked with names and dates that could only be birth and death dates. I closed the box, and looked at the word written on top of the lid:

Incarnations.

I was wary of what I was about to look at, but I opened my boyfriend's box anyway. There seemed to be another slip of paper crammed in between five or six different photo albums.

Dear Joshua,
Please look through these. Please.
Yours,
Andrew

I swallowed. So he did want me to look through them. He wanted me to look at his history. But what was with the birth and death dates. I mean, I knew Andrew was immortal but did he stalk people just for the fun of it? It seemed a little bit weird.

I opened the one from the earliest I saw. Name: Alexander. Birthdate: November 15, 1850, death date: January 2, 1890.

Surprisingly even numbered. And young, just forty years of age when he died. I frowned as I opened the book, and saw my Andrew, smiling at the camera with who I assumed to be Alexander asleep on his chest. They were curled on a sofa. As the pictures went on, it seemed to be like they were in a relationship. And the more I looked through them, the more evident it appeared that they were deeply in love.

Looking through these photos felt invasive, but I went on. Album through photo album. Something was off, something was all too familiar about all of those photos. I bit my lip and ignored the feeling. Some of these felt almost like deja vu. I inhaled.

Then I got to the most recent. Someone named Felix. Felix. Where did I know that name? It hit something deep in my chest. It vibrated weirdly in my mouth when I said it. I sighed, but my heart leapt out of my chest when I looked through this one. The first picture was identical to the first picture in the album from 1850. I inhaled deeply and sighed.

This picture was almost like a memory. I shook the feeling from myself frantically, but it crept up my chest again. I shuddered. It was too real, but I flipped to the next page. I bit my lip. It was so real in my mind. It was almost like I remembered it.

The picture was almost like a memory. No. I think it was a memory. I think it was something I'd lived. Could someone live multiple lives? I didn't know. I flipped the page, and another note fell out of the book.

Have you remembered?
If you haven't, here's a hint. Reincarnation is real. It sounds crazy, but it's true. Everyone lives many many lives. Too many to count in human numbers.

I gasp as I look at the next photo. I remember this one. I actually remember this one. It stands out like a memory. As I frantically flip through the pages of the photo album, the photos get more and more and more real. The deeper I go, the more I remember. Until the last one.

The last one is as clear as day, and it unravels everything. I'm startled out of my phase when the front door opens, and I look up at the clock. Four hours have passed. Have I really been at it for that long?

"Hello, dear!" Andrew calls from the kitchen.

"Hi..." I respond I unenthusiastically.

"Are you in the bedroom?! I'll be there in a minute!!"

I sigh, and tears start to roll slowly down my cheeks as the realisation hits. All of those photos were of me in all of my past lives. There is one last note at the end of the album.

You're immortal in this life. I ran some tests on your blood. Sorry for not telling you. Lol haha
Yours,
Andrew.

I sigh. That was very Andrew of him to do. I stare intently at the last photo and wipe my eyes. I hear his footsteps in the hall, and coming up behind me. I feel him sit next to me on the bed, and wrap an arm around me. I lean on his shoulder.

"How did I not know before? In one of these phases?" I whisper, gesturing lazily to the other photo albums, and wiping my eyes again.

"Because you weren't immortal in any of them. Now you're immortal, and you're more insightful, I guess."

I nod and feel a kiss on my temple. I kiss his mouth. "You look as handsome as ever. You haven't changed."

"Nor will you."

I smile, and kiss him again, then put the photo album away, and put the box on the floor.

"Lie with me, please. I need to process."

"I understand," he wraps his arms around me and lets me put my head on his chest.

"I love you, Andrew." It was the first time I'd said it in this life, and I felt a chill in my spine saying it. "I love you."

"I've always loved you too, Joshua. I love you so much. And I will forever."

"I'm glad you showed me those photos."

"I'm glad you saw them and remembered."

"How could I forget?"

He shrugs. "I've no idea, dear, but it hurt not being able to discuss it with you."

"I guess immortality costs something."

He drew me closer to himself. "It does... immortality costs pain."