Desert Wings

Fuse

"Do you get used to the death?" I ask.
"I don't know, I haven't really, had a hand in as many casualties as you."
"True enough," a trap snaps,"I suppose that's another. Do you think she will let me go soon?"
"Kara..."
"No, don't answer that, I know what you say, what they all say."
Another is released from the Desert. I try not to speak to Death as he arrives, even though he tries to spark a conversation,"How long are you going to do this?"
"As long as I need."
"Kara, you are going to become a monster children are frightened at the thought of."
"Let them fear."
"They shouldn't have to fear one of their own."
"Yes well they will need to fear everything that moves! They will need to fear everything that doesn't move! That is the only way they will survive Death! Can't you see that? This is a plane of fears, a place where monsters hide behind the face if angels and fear is everywhere. Fear may lie but fear will keep you safe, fear you can rely on, fear can always be there for you Death. Sometimes fear is all you need, you know fear can be a great motivator."
"I know that Kara, but does that mean they need to fear you?"
"How many historical figures have remained in power because people loved them? How about because people feared them? Feared what they stood for?"
"Yes they may have had power but at what cost? What will be your cost?" Death shouts.
"I don't know. Perhaps they shall learn to both love and to fear me, I will signal not only the end of their life, but freedom from this cruel realm."
"Or perhaps they will want to kill you on sight."
"They might not live that long."
Death gives me a cold side glare,"Sure thing Kara. What ever you say Kara."
"Don't be sarcastic about this!" I shout.
"To bad, I am almost always searching for oprtunties to be sarcastic."
"Whatever, I am sure you have lives to end, you can leave, to be honest I'm surprised that you haven't left by now."
Death shook his head,"Let me know when you grow up."
"I have, well I am close, we never really finish growing up."
"So poetic, you should write a book and once you finish that you can admit that you are wrong, that you won't be able to leave this Desert, not Fate, not Chance, no one is going to open a magical gate for you to some other place. This is it Kara, here is where you will live out your life until you are dead. Accept that, please."
"I don't know if I can."
"Sure you can, you just might not be ready to."
"Death, accepting that would be like giving up my hopes and dreams I have had since I was a child. That would mean that they were wrong, all wrong, that would steal the last tatters of my shattered hope away, because I would be imprisoned here. My freedom taken and wings as good as bound again, if I can't leave, what is my goal?"
"To live a good life. I don't know about the rest of that but, I would think living a nice life was a large part of many a childhood dream."
"Yes, but there my freinds always stood beside me, life after life, day after day. I am almost alone here, I was almost alone there to. I clung to my freinds because they were few and far between, now they are gone. Some of them at my hand."
"You could always stop, save their lives instead of ending them."
I shake my head,"I could, but something would take them from me."
"Kara, you aren't Fate's victim."
"Good bye Death." I turn and walk back to my fortress. Another life leaves the Desert before I return to the gates.
"Kara..." I walk past Hestia without responding before shutting myself in my room, childish yes, but I feel like a child. A child who is afraid of her future, a child who has been lied to much of her life, and I hated it. I felt small in a time and place where I had power, I have taken lives! I remind myself,Why do I feel so weak?
"What am I doing?" Moonlight bars me into my prison, stretching across the White Desert, caging me with in.
"Living." A feminine voice echoes softly in my ear,"What you shall continue to do despite what they may say. Your day shall come Kara, soon, you are building your way up to it, but now sleep." The hold of slumber encompassed me before I had time to wonder about the voice.

I was standing in a massive field, wind whipped the tall grass around my legs, massive thunder clouds lay in wait on the horizon. I try to move but my feet are encased in mud, the skirt of the dress I now wore twisted itself tightly around my legs, the stained material binding my lower half. Desperately I try to spread my wings, to fly, only to my dismay. They are gone. I fall to the ground and scream as the ground cages me and the thunder clouds rage over my head, pouring water over me, soaking me in tears.

I wake up, heart pounding and gasping for breath,"What is happening to me?"
"You are Fusing Kara."
"I'm what?"
"At least I think that is what is happening to you."
"Yeah okay. What is the thing that may or may not be happening to me?"
"The White Desert, I think is accepting you. Your fame may have reached your home realm." At this point I recognize the voice as the same from the previous night,"That means that you are becoming a part of the Desert Kara."
"Wait, would that mean that once this Fusing finishes, if that is what is happening I won't be able to leave here. Ever? At all? No matter what I do or Fate says?"
I can almost hear the owner of the voice cringe,"If you are Fusing yes."
"How do I find out if that is what is happening? How do I stop it if it is?"
"Death would know... I don't think there is a way to stop it, and if you wanted to leave..."
"I am not going to die to get out if here."
"Okay. I have to go, good luck." Footsteps echoed beside my own for a moment as I hurried down the stone halls of my fortress. As I run I hear the snap of a trap, sadly, I take joy in the sound.
Blood paints the ground as I wait impatiently, after a time I ensure that the one foolish enough to get themselves trapped is dead. No air left their lungs and blood dripped slowly to the ground, no heart beat to support it.
"Miss me?"
I spin to face Death,"There you are! Yeah, no I just needed to ask you a question, or two, or a bunch more."
"Okay, let's discuss elsewhere though." I nod my agreement and follow Death a short distance,"So what's up?"
"I'm going to sound crazy."
"More than usual?"
"Maybe." I shrug,"Anyways, a voice said that the Desert had 'accepted me' and that I was 'Fusing or something. She also said that you could tell me if that was what was really happening or if there was a way to stop it."
"Yeah that does sound really crazy. Okay." Death runs one hand through his dark hair,"So I think that girl, you don't need to worry about, what she said however..."
"What is wrong with me?"
"Your soul, mind, something, the Desert is accepting it, linking you to itself. I have never experienced it, but from what I understand it happens to those who are not native to the Desert."
"So how do I stop it? She said I wouldn't be able to leave once it finished."
"You can't, the only way you will be able to leave will be..."
"Yeah. Reality is scary these days. No other options, less and less hope, all of it out the window. It's all gone."
"No it isn't, you can keep living here, lead the closest to a normal life you can."
I let out a dry bark of laughter,"Normality is an illusion created by the mind in an attempt to comfort itself in the cold unforgiving harshness of reality. I personally try to not buy into it."
Death laughed,"Well considering how well you have survived I would say that much us accurate."
I grin back at him,"So I am stuck here for eternity."
"Aww. Depressing Kara is back, I was just getting another side of you to come out."
"Yeah well this is a pretty harsh reality for me to accept."
"Let me offer some advise then, don't dwell on it. You'll just go crazy."
"Thanks Death."
"Sure thing Kara, bye."
"Bye."