Emotions | Book 3 to 'Lil Marais'

TEN

S K Y L A R

Jonah rubs my back, "I'm sorry Sky" He tells me

I shake my head, "We've been broken up for almost a month, he has every right to move on" I mumble

Inside i was crumbling, i felt numb and broken. Zach has been spotted kissing this girl called Corinna, she's a youtuber. The media went crazy and started accusing Zach for cheating on me, so i had to come out and tell everyone once again that me and Zach aren't together

"That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt" He says

"It does hurt, i've just gotten used to being hurt by him. I blamed myself for everything, Toby and him leaving, truth is it wasn't my fault" I explain

He nods his head, "I'm glad you're finally seeing the truth" He tells me

Christina walks into the kitchen, "I need a favour" She says

I turn to her, "Sure, what is it?" I ask

"The first episode of our reality show is airing tonight, can the whole group come over and watch it in the movie room?" She asks

"Whole group as in Zach too?" I ask

"If that's okay with you" She tells me

Jonah puts his hand on my shoulder, "You don't have to Sky, if you're not ready don't do it" He tells me

"It's fine, i wouldn't want to leave him out" I tell Christina

She hugs me, "Thank you!" She yells

+

I set the movie room up, i put all snacks and drinks on the couches. The doorbell rings and i rush to answer it

I open the door, it's Jonah, Louise, Jack and Gabbie, "Since when do you guys use the doorbell?" I ask

"Trying new things" Gabbie smiles

"You said to ring the doorbell because she's been jumpy lately" Jack says

Jonah shakes his head, "Nimrod" Jonah mumbles

I just laugh, "I'm fine guys, come in" I smile

They all come inside we make our way to the movie room. The doorbell does again and it's Blair, Daniel, Corbyn and Christina. We all sit in the movie room waiting for Zach

The doorbell goes, i look at all of them, "Will one of you get the door please?" I ask

They all shake their heads, "Nope"

I groan and get up, i walk towards the door and i open the door revealing Zach. I feel my heart skip a beat, i look at him and i just want to slap him

I open the door wider, "Come in" I fake smile

He walks in, he gives me a hug, "How are you?" He asks

I've missed this, i miss being in Zach's arms. I feel so safe and complete right now. He pulls away

I look him in the eyes, "I'm doing great" I lie, "What about you?" I ask

He smiles, it seems so genuine, "Really good actually"

"I'm glad" I tell him

"Movie room?" He asks

I look at him confused, "What?" I ask

He laughs, "Is the group in the movie room?" He asks

I nod my head, "Oh, yeah"

He puts his hand on my arm, my body vibrates from his touch, "Are you okay?" He asks concerned

"I'm good" I smile

He nods his head, and starts walking towards the movie room. We both enter the movie room, the whole group starts at us

"Can we press play now?" I ask

I sit on the couch at front with Christina and Corbyn, Christina presses play and it starts

It shows highlights of the season, my heart drops one i see the clip of me and Christina hugging saying "I can't believe we're pregnant at the same time"

I feel the tears fall down my cheeks, "Sky, i'm so sorry, i told them to cut it" Christina says

I walk out of the room, i run upstairs

Z A C H

"I'll go" Jonah says

I stand up, "Let me" I tell him

He nods his head. I run upstairs and into our bedroom, i see Sky crying into her pillow. I sit next to her, i rub her back

"Sky?"

"It still hurts, we would of had Toby now" She sobs

"Sky, i know it hurts but you just need to move on" I tell her

She jumps us and i stand up, "It's been four months Zach, you may be able to forget him but i can't okay! His room is right next to my room, all his clothes and everything else is still in there" She yells at me

I hug her, god i've missed her scent. I hate her not being mine but all i did was hurt her, god i wish i could turn everything around

"Do you love her?" She asks

I shake my head, "No, we're not even together, it's to soon" I tell her

"Does she know that?" She asks

I shake my head again, "I think she thinks i do but i don't"

She pulls away, "Do you have any feelings towards her?" She asks

"I really don't know" I tell her

She sits down and i sit next to her, "Do you still love me?" She asks

"Sky, i'm never not going to be in love with you, you mean everything to me and you always will" I tell her

"But we're no good together anymore" She frowns

She leans her head on my shoulder, "Maybe not right now, but maybe in the future" I tell her

She sniffles, and nods her head

I hurt her without even trying

How do i keep doing this?