Insanity why are you my clarity?
Yan ang linyang tumutugtog sa isipan ko habang tinitingnan ko siyang kumain. Ang gwapo niya talaga kahit saang anggulo. Pakiramdam ko walang mali.
After that kiss, buti napigilan ko ang sarili ko. I pushed him away para tumigil na.
Hinga lang ng malalim. Kaya ‘to.
“Sorry, kasi… ah di ko talaga napigilan Althea Marie, sobrang ganda mo kanina nung sinabi mo yun kaya naman di ako nakapagpigil. Di na talaga mauulit.”
He held my hand really tight.
“Promise me, Althea Marie na wala ka nang titingnang iba. Ako lang dapat ha. Please, ako lang. I go insane everytime na may lalapit sayo.”
“I won’t be entertaining guys. Promise… ikaw lang.”
He gave a tight hug, yung tipong naamoy ko ung expensive body spray niya. I can feel shivers running down my spine, pakiramdam ko sasabog na yung dibdib ko sa kaba. Ganito pala yung feeling na para kang masiraan ng bait pag kaharap mo na yung lalaking gusto mo.
I smiled at him, kasi naman imposibleng di ka mapasmile sa ganyang kagwapong nilalang. I swear from the bottom of my heart na grabe, kakilig kang gwapo ka.
“I… just want to say happy I am right now Althea Marie. The feeling is the best thing I’ve ever felt. It is something that I want to express proudly with my arms thrown in the air. I love you Althea Marie.”
“I love you… too.”
I stood up and reached for his head; I kissed him.
I kissed him like a woman not like a fangirl. I kissed him what a man deserves to have. A kiss that he’ll want more. A kiss he can never ever forget.
“Ahh… hmmm. Saan mo… never mind. You gave me one explosive kiss there. God Althea Marie, you are exciting my hormones.”
He looked really funny, sobrang nakakatawa siya. I want to laugh pero he’s blushing. He looks so cute I want to cuddle him whole day. God, he makes me want to commit a sin.
“Really? Well gusto kitang halikan kanina pa. You can’t blame me, because you looked really irresistible.”
“Althea naman, don’t flirt with me. I’m an old man, iba ang needs ko. I’m trying to suppress kasi I respect you the most.”
“Then don’t respect me.”
Then he’s speechless. I laughed so hard I can’t imagine his shocked face.
“Althea, hindi mo alam kung gaano ko pinipigilan ang sarili kong igapos dyan sa table, halikan ka, strip all your clothes, lick you everywhere and…”
I’m speechless. Then he laughed really loud.
“Ayan, sabi ko sayo eh. Don’t play with the flame babe. We will eventually do stuff but not now. I want to cherish you because I love you, and I care too much. I care about your future. I love you.”
He can make me smile like heaven on earth.
“Thank you for you love. I am… speechless.”
I quietly left his condo unit and got in my car. I switched up my iPod and played ‘Pumpin Blood (The Jane Doze remix)’ dahil bagay ngayon to sa feeling ko. My blood is pumping warmer because of him. Ang saya ko sobra, like I can’t contain what I feel right now. He makes me happy.
‘Hey heart, on the road again, moving on, forward
Sticks and stones won't break the bones
They're in the car, on the highway
It's so magical, feeling, that no one's got a hold
You're a catalyst to your own happiness you know
This is your heart, it's alive
It's pumpin' blood
It's your heart, it's alive
It's pumpin' blood’
Pwedeng magwala? Ang saya ko kasi. Ngiting-ngiti ako habang nagda-drive pauwi. I can’t contain my happiness. I hated him way back then, pero totoo palang ‘there is a thin line between hate and love’ na talagang nangyari sa akin.
I feel him, here in my heart.
I hate Bryan before, and my heart was full of hate and ignorance. Ayokong aminin sa sarili ko noon na may magpapatameme sa akin when it comes to my pumpin blood in the heart. Totoo nga talagang love exists. It cannot be found, because it will find you in the most unexpected way.
I reached home, 10:30 PM na pala kasi natraffic nanaman ako sa EDSA. Buti wala pa sila kuya kaya naman madali akong nakapag-ayos.
I will finally sleep in harmony and peace. Thank you Lord.
=-=-=-=-=-=-
“May pinopormahan dawn a babae si Migs. Ayaw nga lang niya sabihin kung sino, malamang malupit na chicks yun. Biro mo, he broke off the engagement for the girl. She must be something.” Nabulunan ako habang nagkukwento si kuya Drei about sa bagong love life ni Engr. Salvador.
“Tubig kuya…” Nilagok ko ang isang baso ng malamig na tubig. Almusal pa lang ngayon pero pakiramdam ko sobrang nabusog ako sa kaba.
“Dahan-dahan lang sa pagkain.” Biglang sabi ni kuya Chris.
“Opo.”
“Nga pala Thea, may nakikita ka bang babae na umaaligid kay Migs? Curious ang barkada kung sino kasi ang bago niyang babae.” Kuya Drei naman, sasabog na dibsib
“W-wala naman.”
“Ahh, kasi kung meron man baka talagang maganda. Yun nga lang durog yun kay Migs!” Nag-apir ang dalawa kong kuya at pinagpapawisan na ako ng malamig. Naku, sana naman di ako mabuko kundi nalintikan na talaga, pero mahal ko yung gagong yun.
“She needs to be hot, kasi requirement ni Miggy boy yun, besides baka naman bed warmer lang yun o kaya friends with benefits? Imposible kasing magseryoso yun eh.” Grabe ka kuya Chris, eh seryoso na nga sa akin! Sh*t gusto kong isigaw.
Kalma lang. Hingang malalim.
“I need to go kuya, male-late na ako, and malapit na nga pala Christmas break kaya marami akong aasikasuhin so baka in these next days late na uwi ko o kaya matutulog ako sa bahay ng kagrupo ko for thesis.” Nagmamadali akong lumakad patungo ng parking lot at nanginginig na nagbukas ng sasakyan. This day better be good or else… wala.
=-=-=-=-=-=-
“Isang kiss lang sige na.” Ang kulit naman nito kasi.
“Ayoko nga! Tse! Dun ka nga sa upuan. Tsaka ayoko na lagi pumupunta dito sa bahay mo, paano na lang kung mahuli tayo nila kuya? Mapapatay ka nila.”
“Patayin na nila ako pero hindi kita isusuko. Madami na akong napatunayan na talagang gusto nga kita, kaya kakayanin ko yang kambal mong mga kapatid.”
“Ang tapang mo, sana lang totoo yang sinasabi mo.”
He reached for my waist and let me sit on his lap. I kissed him on the lips and suddenly I felt my cheeks getting hotter.
The song ‘Surround me’ by Echosmith suddenly played on his iPod and alam niyang isa yan sa favorite songs ko. Kinilig akong biglaan dahil alam kong kinakabahan siya tuwing hahalikan ako.
Hindi ko na siguro alam kung anong gagawin ko kung di ko na matitikman yung labi niya, para kasi sa akin, siya ang may pinakamasarap na labi sa mundo. His kisses are addicting and to die for… worth loving for.
“Bakit mo alam yang song na yan?” He smiled and kissed me quickly.
“I heard that playing on your headphones nung magkatabi tayo sa bus nung trip, tapos nadownload ko na lang at hirap hanapin kasi lyrics lang pangsearch ko, pero nahanap ko pa din. You played that song thrice sa iPod mo, so I guess favorite mo nga yan.”
I kissed his forehead. Bakit mo ba kayang patalunin ang puso ko na parang walang kaeffort-effort? Matindi ka pa sa heart attack.
=-=-=-=-=-=-
Author's block ata yung naexperience ko nung mga nakaraang buwan. Wala kasi akong maisip at ayan gumawa ako ng tatlong chapters na iaupload ko this week. Please do continue on supporting me.
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love, angela
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