Midnight || Phan {Complete}

Five

When Phil arrived at Dan's door, he hugged him. Probably the tightest hug Dan had ever felt.
"Hey" Dan laughed into Phil's hair. Even though Phil was older, Dan was taller.
"I love you so much" Phil sobbed into Dan's chest, holding him even closer.
Dan lead Phil to the lounge and sat him down.
"You okay?" Dan asked, looking at Phil's eyes. Normally they were so bright and friendly, but now they were bloodshot and pained.
"Dan. What happened to your hand?" Phil gently picked up Dan's left hand.
"I- I'm so sorry Phil-- I- I-"Dan's eyes got teary again. He looked down, letting his fringe cover his face.
"Daniel James Howell" Phil said softly, lifting Dan's head to be looking at his. "Please, tell me whats wrong" His voice was so pained. Dan felt immediate guilt.
"I- It was- I was- I'm so sorry- I'm-" Dan couldn't find the way to say I love you more than anything in this world, and without you, I would rather be dead. If you didn't love me, I would be dead.
Dan grabbed Phil's arm with his right hand, and lightly pulled him up off the couch, leading him upstairs into the bathroom.
Dan showed Phil the tile. It still had little flecks of deep red, inside the black cracks.
Phil kissed Dan, softly
"Dan, don't ever forget I love you. Please. I'm not lying." Tears were rolling down Phil's cheeks.
Dan didn't respond. He was noticing a trend.
Phil only loved him cause he was broken. Phil has only ever said I love you when he's been broken. Phil doesn't want him to get better. Phil loves him for the drama.
Dan simply asked, his voice monotone "Where's my box."
"Dan I-"
"Where's my box, Phil" He tried not to notice how hurt Phil looked.
"Daniel James Howell. Listen to me. You do not deserve any pain." Phil's voice was strong but had flakes of worry spread through it.
"Phil, we can get rid of the box if you tell me where you put it" Dan smiled weakly.
"Promise me you'll try to stop."
"I promise" Dan kissed Phil on the cheek
Maybe Phil doesn't want me to be broken. Maybe he loves me.

Phil went into Dan's room and moved around some miscellaneous crap, before finally grabbing the box. Phil handed it to Dan.

"Bear- I know why you have these knives, and I know you think it won't ever get better. Trust me, I know how you feel. But it will. Instead of damaging your beautiful skin, just text me. I always want to listen. I love you more than anything in the entire world Dan. Please never leave"

Phil was blushing when Dan finished reading the letter. Dan put down the box and hugged Phil as tightly as possible.
"Phil, don't ever leave me" Dan whispered through tears.

"I love you" Phil responded.