Midnight || Phan {Complete}

Six

Phil walked home, even though Dan said he could stay the night. But Phil said couldn't.

He promised himself he would stay strong for Dan. That's what he promised when he first met Dan. Four years ago. He knew Dan wasn't okay then, and he needed Dan.
He still needs Dan.

When he got home, his mother worriedly pulled him into the lounge and held him.
"Mum whats wrong?" Phil asked, Maybe his dads coming home.
His dad was diagnosed with cancer one month before he met Dan. They were both only fourteen.

"Phil- I love you so much" She sobbed as she sat Phil down.
"Mum what happened-"
"Your father... He would be so proud" She smiled, holding Phil's face.
"No-" Phil sobbed
Phil and his mum cried together, she never said what had happened, Phil already knew.

Phil walked into the bathroom, shaking. He locked the door.
My dad's dead, my boyfriend wants to be dead, I can't keep anyone alive.
Phil grabbed the old knife he hid behind the cabinets in the bathroom. He was three years clean.
The best three years of his life were a lie.
Dan was never fine. You saw the scars, you never told him you were there for him. You waited until he had already damaged himself to the point where he'd have permanent psychological damage.
Your dad wasn't ever getting better. Your mother lied. If he was getting better he would be at home right now, comforting you. Telling you that you're valid and loved. You didn't even visit him last weekend.
Phil grabbed a pen and paper, which he stashed with the knife.

'Dan, I love you, please stay strong without me. I don't want my end to be yours too. You were the best boyfriend I could ever have imagined. I know it may seem tough now, but you've gotta stay strong. Just remember that I always love you, even when I'm not there. 
I love you, Bear'

Phil cried. He grabbed the blade and with one sweep of his arm, made a cut the entire length of it.
He deserved this pain. He can't even keep his boyfriend happy. He couldn't even keep his mum happy. He couldn't keep Dan happy. No matter how hard he tried.
If I can't keep Dan happy while I'm alive, who will keep him happy once I'm gone? I can't risk Dan dying because of me...
Phil collapsed to the ground, dropping the knife. He pulled out his phone with what little strength he had and texted

call 999

Phil blacked out