When We Realize (A Sheo Fanfic)

Chapter Seven

*Theo's POV*

All throughout dinner with Ruth I couldn't stop thinking about the disappointed look on Shailene's face when I told her I had plans. I had been very brief with her all day, because every time I looked at her, I knew I needed to look away. I always look at her too much, and the only way to stop feeling like a horrible disgusting man is to just stop. Maybe that way I will come to my senses.

But I had to tell her that I could hang out with them all later. There is only so much I can refrain from when it comes to her. Plus I really should catch up with other people on set.

Dinner was okay. Ruth talked a lot about our old friends and family back in London, and it was all too weird, because it doesn't feel like my life anymore, it feels like hers. I tried to absorb all of the feelings I have ever had for her, and draw them back to myself, and to make them present again. I could feel it a little, I mean, how could you ever stop loving someone you gave so much to for so long? But it just didn't feel the same.

Ruth doesn't laugh at my jokes like Shai does. Ruth constantly flips her hair, and applies lip gloss, which Shai would never do. Ruth doesn't say random positive things, like Shai does. She pulls out her phone to check it all the time, which I've never seen Shai do. She doesn't look over at me and slowly smile, like Shai does. And as much as I try to act like things could work, there's no avoiding the most obvious fact. Ruth is not Shailene Diann Woodley, and I am horrible for wishing that she was.

When I get back to my apartment at around nine o'clock and I am doing some dishes, my phone rings.

"Hello?" I answer, my phone wedged between my chin and shoulder so I can dry my hands.

"Aloha! It's Shai. We're all hanging out at Miles apartment right now, if you want to come?"

"I think that I will, but..."

"Ruth can come if you want," She added.

I looked over my shoulder at Ruth who was perched on the couch with her laptop in her lap. "I'll ask her."

"Okay," She said, her voice making me want to sigh. How is it possible to love somebody's voice so much?

"Okay..."

I hung up and walked over to Ruth. "Who was that?"

"Shai,"

"Really? You'll answer to her immediately yet when I call you three times you can't pick up?"

I raised an eyebrow. Are we really back to this? "My phone was in my pocket just now. And it was in my drawer when you called. You know I would have answered if I knew you were calling. I didn't even know you were coming."

"Alright. What did she want?"

"Ansel, Zoe, and Miles are all hanging out at Miles's apartment, and she wanted to know if I could come."

"She loves to hang out with you, huh?" She said, picking at her nail.

"I told her to call me earlier, because I couldn't go to dinner with all of them."

"Jeez, if you didn't want to go to dinner with me, you could've gone with them."

I sighed, looking away from her and out the tall glass wall overlooking the lights of the city. "I wanted to go. That's why I said no."

"Can you say no again now?"

"Ruth... I haven't seen them in so long. Shailene invited you, do you want to come?"

She snorted. "That would be so awkward, me and a bunch of your costars?"

"I guess... if you think so."