When We Realize (A Sheo Fanfic)

Chapter Seven

*Shailene's POV*

He takes my hand and walks me over to a dark patch of grass and we lay down side by side. I can't help but gawk at the beauty of the brilliant orb hovering over the green landscape.

Theo slides his arm under my head so that I can rest it against his chest. "What makes the moon appear bigger?" He asks me.

"The aliens put an invisible magnifying glass in front of it."

"Ha-ha."

I smile. "It's just at a closer point to the Earth than it usually is in its orbit. It occurs five to six times a year."

"The tides must be crazy during a super moon,"

"Remember the ferris wheel scenes?" I ask him, my voice low. "The super moon that night was beautiful as well."

"How could I forget... That night with you was so confusing for me, but then again so was any other one."

"What do you mean?" I ask him. What about that night was confusing?

"Being alone up there with you, well sort of alone, became hard. You were so happy and I just kept trying to make you laugh, and I couldn't understand why every time I touched you my heart would beat so fast."

I took a slow, calming breath. "It's always sort of been like that, huh?"

"Pretty much. It was just so... complicated. It still is."

"It's not going to be like that forever. I'm positive that things will play out the way that they were meant to. Just imagine the best possible scenario, rather than the worst."

I peer up at him and his eyes are closed as he talks. "I remember... loving how happy you seemed to be when I first met you. I didn't know if it was fake or not, but sure enough every single time I saw you, you had a smile on your face. And during the Divergent promo... I don't even know how I didn't realize that I liked you then. I kept trying to convince myself I didn't, and then when I finally got to kiss you again, everything fucking crumbled."

His hand brushed my hair back from my face. "During the premieres, you were so full of life and so confident and self assured and stunning in your beautiful dresses. I kept daring myself to get closer to you... I wanted to see if I would like it, or be able to handle my mouth being so close to yours. And I wanted to kiss you so bad, even though I knew I couldn't, just to see if it would clear up how confused I had felt for so long."

My heart starts pounding in the way that it does when I get emotional. "Theo, you're going to make me cry." I say, laughing once.

"Shailene I don't give a damn how many odds there are stacked against us. You know that right? I used to tell myself that you would never want me, because I'm older or because you want someone more like you... I didn't think you could be happy with me, but I had to try. And you kissed me back, and I was much too selfish, and still am much too selfish... to stop."

His eyes are still closed, and I can see a faint blush in his cheeks underneath the moon. "I've never felt so vulnerable in my life, Shai. I've never had so much to lose. I remember... thinking that you have to want me, because I won't know what to do if you don't."

I gulp and look up, trying to keep the tears in my eyes from falling. Nobody has ever cared about me this much, and I don't think I'll ever want somebody just as much as him. He is such a gentleman, and he makes my soul so happy and so light. I don't know how to tell him everything that I feel when my throat is closed up and close to tears like this, so I just whisper, "I love you."

I sit up and throw one leg over him so that I am sitting on top of him, looking at him there on the ground. I can see the moon in his dark eyes, but the most prominent thing there is love. I grab his shirt in my hand and lean down to kiss him. He laces his fingers through my hair, pulling us into a deeper kiss. My body starts to ache with a more physical wanting of him, and I let my tongue lightly stroke his.

His hands untangle themselves from my hair and slowly slide down my body to rest on my butt. One hand moves to lightly brush against my area that needs him the most through my leggings, teasing me before it disappears. I moan into his mouth and reach to take off his shirt but his hands are suddenly on my shoulders, pushing me back. I sit back down on his waist, confused and frenzied.

"Shai, what are you doing?"

"Trying to have sex with you, what are you doing?"

"I- we... We can't have sex outside in a public garden?" His eyebrows are furrowed as he looks up at me.

I can feel underneath me that his body wants nothing more than to continue. I grin mischievously and grind my waist on his hips with the slightest pressure. "Is that a statement or a question, Theo?"

He looks to be internally fighting himself. "But... someone could hear."

"We aren't even near the paths right now and besides, nobody is going to come here at eleven forty-five."

He continues to ramble on and I listen with a poker face, taking off my shirt. "We'll, uh, get bit by mosquitos."

I unclip my bra. "Mosquitos don't bite after nine."

"I don't..." He gulps, his eyes lowering to my breasts. "Have a condom."

"Yes you do." I say, slowly taking off his shirt. "What's your problem? We had a better chance of getting caught earlier in the dressing room."

"Goddamn," He curses under his breath. He suddenly flips us over so that I am beneath him. The grass feels soft beneath my bare back. He puts his mouth next to my ear. "I was trying to be practical but you make that impossible." He says, his hands touching my boobs.

"I always win," I whisper, laughing.

"I was going to let you win anyways..."

He slowly takes off all the layers between us and puts on a condom. I try to act calm, but in truth I am crazed. I've never had sex outside... He positions himself over me and slowly slides into me. I gasp at the feeling of being entirely full again. I am whole once he is inside me. I try to quicken his pace by meeting his thrusts half way but he shakes his head, kissing my cheek.

He puts a hand on my waist to stop me. "We're doing this slowly this time..."

Holy fuck he is going to be the death of me. My hand reaches down to clutch at the grass to try and get some sort of stability, but I end up ripping it out. I moan and slip my hands under his arms, pulling him down so that our chests are touching. My eyes land on the super moon above us... Strange, strange things happen to us under that God damned moon.