When We Realize (A Sheo Fanfic)

Chapter Twelve

*Shailene's POV*

Miles ordered food as soon as we got to his apartment. He ordered hot wings for himself and I ordered a greek salad. We waited until the food came so we could take it up to the pool room.

"I'm going to get my suit on," Miles said after the food had arrived.

"Crap... My only suit is in Theo's bathroom." I told him. "I changed into my clothes there after we all went swimming together, when I helped him unpack."

"What have you been using as a bathing suit then?" He asked.

"Zoe has been letting me borrow hers, but I gave it back."

"You could always swim naked, I won't judge."

I laughed once. "Hardy-har-har."

"Well what are you going to do?"

I bit my lower lip. "I'll just knock on his door and ask for it back."

"Alright. Just meet me in the pool room then."

I nodded and walked out and headed for Theo's apartment. Hopefully I am not interrupting a important conversation or something... I knocked and waiting a couple moments. I knocked again, and still no one answered. I checked to see if the door was open. Maybe they went someplace? The door was unlocked so I walked in.

"Theo?" I called, walking down the hall. "Hello?"

I stopped in my tracks when I heard what sounded like a moan. "Theo, oh my godddd." My hand flew up to cover my mouth. I should not have walked in when no one answered... I heard another female moan. "Harder,"

My eyes filled with tears that instantly fell down over my cheeks. How could he? He told me he was breaking things off with her! That doesn't sound like anything is ending! Why would he lie to me and tell me that he likes me if he still wanted to screw his girlfriend? How is that in the least bit fair to me? If he didn't love me why did he bother kissing me?

I ran back down the hall, accidentally knocking over a lamp in the process. I heard it shatter behind me but I kept running, slamming his door behind me. I ran towards my apartment, sobs escaping my lips. Why did I ever think that this was good for me? That he was good for me. This was a wrong move.

I not only jeopardized my happiness, but I jeopardized the entire franchise. I usually can read into people really well, and I seriously thought he liked me. He kissed me like he never wanted to stop. But I was wrong. I reached up for the little, round, golden necklace I so foolishly wear and rip it off, breaking the clasp and leaving it on the floor of the hallway. I shut my door behind me and run over to my couch and collapse on it.

I continue to cry for a while, because I know that it is what my heart wants. My heart wants to get rid of him, and this is the only natural way. I hear a knock on my door after a while.

"Shailene?" Someone calls. It's Theo.

I pick up a book from the table besides me and chuck it hardly at the door. "Leave me the fuck alone!"

The door opens and I cover my eyes. Why? Why does he have to come in? He must've seen my necklace on the floor and knew it was me who was in his apartment. If he wants to screw his girlfriend who am I to object? It's his life.

He sits on the other end of the couch silently, and I eventually remove my hand from my eyes. There are still tears all over my face, but I ignore them. He is wearing only sweatpants, and his hair is all ruffled.

"What can I do to make you stop crying?" He asks in a deep tone, his voice cracking. His eyes look anguished.

"Honestly?" I say. "You can leave and act like none of this happened. There's too much on the line and it was foolish of me to act like you would even give a shit. So just leave and we can pretend we are friends until the movies are over, and then we never have to see each other for the rest of our lives."

His face scrunches and he balls his fist. "I'm sorry you walked in on that, but why do you even fucking care? You did the same thing with Miles!"

I glared at him, digging my nails into my arms as they were crossed. "Did you seriously come in here just to make excuses? Did you really make up a scenario in your head to make yourself feel like what you did wasn't wrong? You know that Miles and I aren't like that. You just wanted an excuse to fuck Ruth, and I'm NOT going to act like I'm okay with that!" I said loudly. Angry tears started falling again, making it so that I could barely see him.

"Stop lying, she told me what she saw! Why are you so mad anyways? What did you think Ruth and I did? We've been dating for four years!"

"I don't care what you guys do! I didn't care until you involved me! You can screw your four year long girlfriend as much as you want, but don't fucking lie to me about it! Don't fucking kiss me and tell me you like me when you don't!"

He puts his hand over his mouth and looks away. His eyebrows are so low on his head and he is breathing heavily. "You really didn't... with Miles?"

"YOU KNOW I DIDN'T YOU SICK BASTARD. NOW GET OUT!"

He stands up, and his eyes try to search mine. I look away. I look away from his dark eyes, from his muscled stomach, and away from his back that is still tattooed for the movie. "Please Theo," I whisper quietly. "I can't take this anymore. For the fans sake, just act like this never happened. And we can pretend to be friends until it's over."

He is silent for a long time, and I still don't look at him. Instead, I press my face into the couch, willing for him to disappear. I need this to be over. I will mend over time, and I will embrace myself with the positive side of this life. I have friends and family that love me. I have much to learn and much to do in my life, and I do not need Theo James to mess it up for me. I am too strong for that.

"I'm so sorry," He whispers eventually, and I barely hear him. I hear the door shut behind him.

I do not feel lighter when he is finally gone, like I wish to. I feel much, much heavier.