When We Realize (A Sheo Fanfic)

Chapter Nine

*Theo's POV*

I had no clue that she would be up here on the roof when I snuck up. My mind was so foggy and I knew that there is no better remedy for a cloudy mind than the peace of being under a blanket of stars. Yet there she was, laying down, her eyes calmly searching the sky with a small smile on her lips. I shouldn't be too shocked, Shailene is definitely one for anything serene like this, but what are the chances of us both coming up at the same time?

I had snuck out of bed to get some fresh air. My mind was running wild at two am, and I knew that if I ever wanted to fall asleep I'd have to get out of that room to be able to think first. I have been avoiding Shailene for a few days now. I can tell she has realized it, and it hurts me seeing her upset, but it's just too hard for me to act the way I always have now that I know that I like her.

I haven't talked to her or hung out with her, and when she says something to me I answer with short sentences. We've always touched each other, and looked at each other more than the average friends, but we have always been simply friends, no more than that. And it's hard for me to do that now. I feel like a horrible man for doing this to her, and to Ruth. None of them deserve to have someone as careless as me in their lives.

I stared at her as her eyes gleamed with the light of the moon. "So beautiful," I found myself saying.

She turned to say something to me but before she could respond and before I could think about what I was doing, I was kissing her. I couldn't help it, I've wanted to see what it would be like if we kissed off set for so long now, and I just couldn't restrain myself when she is so perfect. She is kissing me back. Shailene is actually kissing me back, and her lips feel the same as they do when we are being filmed, but this is different. This is us. Why isn't she repulsed by me? She should be disgusted right now, but no, instead of pushing me away her arm is wrapping around my neck and her hand is against my chest. Her lips are so soft but also so strong and assuring, just like her.

I pull back suddenly. What am I doing? I have a girlfriend still... And Shailene doesn't like me. In fact, she must have kissed me out of sympathy.

"I'm so sorry," I said, watching as her eyes slowly opened, her lips slightly parted. Her eyes are so wide and a lovely mixture of green and brown. Her eyes are so wise.

She slowly touched her lips with her fingers, looking away. I cursed myself repeatedly in my head. I ruined it all. The movie franchise, and even worse, our friendship. Her gaze landed on me again and she seemed unsure of what to say.

"You don't need to say anything... I-I don't know why I did that. I just couldn't help it-" She cut me off by pressing her lips to mine. "anymore." I said, finishing my sentence.

She sat up on her knees and leaned over me, wrapping both arms around my neck this time, and we kissed. My hands held onto her tiny waist as our lips started to move faster than they did before. She tastes so lovely that I found myself sighing into her mouth. When she pulls away she doesn't look shocked anymore. Why would she? She's the one that kissed me this time. She lowers herself down so she is no longer above me, and we stare at each other in silence.

"Shailene..." I say slowly with a slight laugh. I feel hysterical. "Why did you kiss me back? Things would've been a lot easier if you hadn't."

She looks down. "Things haven't been easy for a long long time, I don't think..."

The world is silent except for our breathing, and for some reason, I actually kind of like it that way. "I like you a lot," I whisper.

She looks up and her eyes are full of tears. "Really? I thought... that you have been avoiding me all week because you didn't."

"I do. I like you so much Shai. You are so peaceful, and confident, and so beautiful. I find myself staring at you, because I love the way your eyes light up when you laugh. Being with you is so... natural. I didn't think you felt like this, because you deserve someone so much better than me."

"No I don't. I like you just fine."

I reach out to stroke her cheek. "I never thought in a million years that you would like me."

She laughed. "That makes two of us yet again."

"Is this bad?" I ask her. "What if it doesn't end well?"

I knew she would know what I am talking about. "I never thought I would say this, but unfortunately this movie comes before us."

"What do you mean?" I asked, my heart dropping. What if she says that we can't do this because of the movies?

"What I mean is we can't jeopardize a million dollar franchise just for our own selfish reasons. If you want this to be... real, then we have to hide it. That way if it ends badly then rumors won't be flying around everywhere about the movies being canceled and stuff."

I smiled at her. "I want this to be real,"

"I do to," She told me, her voice low. "I have been denying myself of you for far too long. Usually I am the first to do whatever makes me happy, but this time it was so complicated."

"Well if I am the thing that makes you happy, then you can do me without it being complicated anymore," I said sexually, my eyebrows wiggling.

She started to laugh. See? This is how it should be. Exactly how it has always been, just this time with no lying to ourselves and no boundaries holding us back. Her face dropped suddenly.

"What?" I asked, touching the crease that formed between her eyebrows.

"What about Ruth?"

I sighed. "I'll break things off with her,"

"How can you say that so easily? You have been with her for four years... I-I don't want to make you unhappy, or make you do something you might regret."

I shushed her. "I am happy now that everything I have felt for so long between us has been said, and I won't regret it. I have known for so long that what Ruth and I have isn't right. Every single time I looked at her I was wishing I was looking at you. I compared everything to you, and I felt so horrible about it. I hated myself."

She put her hand over her mouth. "I'm sorry Theo... She's going to be so hurt, I feel so bad."

"Shailene, listen to me." I said, placing my mouth by her ear. "We deserve to be happy, like you always tell me. Let me deal with her."

"Okay,"

"I may need a couple days. It's going to be hard.

"I understand," Of course she understands. She is the most empathetic and understanding person I have ever met. She is so beautiful, inside and out, and now she is mine. Is this possible?

"Shai?"

"Hmm,"

"I really like you," I said for about the third time tonight.

She reached out to touch my cheek, the corners of her mouth lifting. "I like you,"

I love her. I already know that, but so much has happened tonight and I don't want to scare her, but there's no denying it. I have loved her for a while now. I love how I can tell her anything. I love how I always know how to make her laugh. I love how soft her skin is. I love how when I look at her it makes me feel like she is opening herself to let me, and only me, have a peek inside of her soul. I love her.