Name: Aerodynamic
Interesting, original name! Haven't seen it before.
Nicknames: Aero or Dynamic
Realistic nicknames.
age : 12
Alrighty.
sexuality : gay
*throws glitter*
gender: male
I do love male characters.
tribe: skywings
I feel like SkyWings are underrated, extremely. I don't see nearly enough SkyWing or MudWing OCs.
appearance: has maroon colored scales and yellow eyes, has scar over his right eye, making him blind in the right eye, dark red horns and spikes
Well, at least you didn't just put "one eye blind, yellow eyes, maroon scales". But seriously, this is lacking detail.
Is he heavyset? Chubby? Thin? Muscular? Tall? Short? Wide? Are his eyes small? Are there any particular eye-catching features that he was born with? Accessories?
Just saying, you could add a LOT.
likes: flying, fighting, and his dragonets
Pretty typical SkyWing for the most part, although I'm questioning the dragonet part. Most SkyWing fathers, if I recall correctly, don't like children. But maybe I'm mistaken.
dislikes: the nightwings
So do I lmao
Friggin' NightWings
*Pretends I don't have a NightWing OC*
personality: kind and gentle, when angered he will slashed at the walls or fight the dragon who angered him
What a short personality.
Okay, well, most SkyWings aren't kind. Or gentle, for that matter. Is there a reason for this oddity?
And he has anger issues, but I guess that's a SkyWing trait. Sort of.
But otherwise... uh, where's the personality? Like literally all you gave me is that he's usually kind and has anger management issues lmao
Anyway, you REALLY need to lengthen that personality. Y'know, you could do one of those things where you "interview" your character and really explore what their personality is like. Just pretend you're talking with your character... what would they say? What would they do? Imagine them reacting to things. I don't know, just explore his personality!
backstory: when he was four, he saw his mother and father being slaughtered by four nightwings,
Ah, so that's why he hates NightWings.
But anyhow, is there a reason why? Was there a war going on? Were there just four NightWings gathered around that were like "Dude, we should totally just kill some SkyWing parents" and just went with it? That'd be pretty weird lmao
by the time he got the queen, which was queen pryo, his parents were dead and riped in pieces, he was mad and sad that he didnt have any parents to love him, but then queen pryo said he will now be the son of her,
Ah, so he was adopted by royalty. I recommend removing this; him being an adopted prince isn't contributing anything to the character and doesn't really make much sense.
Instead, maybe he was just adopted by a regular civilian?
he was happy but then when he was seven he went to the jade mountain academy,
Huh. When a dragon's seven years old, they're officially an adult. Is there a reason why he went to school when he was already an adult?
there he found out he was gay when he saw a beauiful rainwing name leopard gecko, he fell in love with him as the same with leopard gecko, then when he was ten he and leopard gecko adopted three dragonets, two females and one male,
WOW YOU'RE GOIN QUICK
At ten years old he had dragonets? Dude that's like, Peril adopting kids
But I mean, I ain't hatin', technically any age after 7 years is considered an adult, so y'know.
he name the older sister shimmer since it was a rainwing, and the skywings twins which were boy and girl name tailwind and whirlwind, now he is twelve and his adopted dragonets are older he sent them all to jma where he went to school and met his mate
Alrighty, great
I like the backstory, it's pretty original and I think it's pretty good. But I do feel like with a lot of it you could've made it more detailed and gone more in depth with it.
mate: leopard gecko { rainwing with silvery blue with blue eyes}
Don't Leopard Geckos live in, like, hot-desert places?
dragonets: Shimmer { oldest rainwing sister, adopted}
Ok
tailwind and whirlwind { young skywings twin siblings, adopted}
Ok
silbings: N/A
Uh-huh
others : animus
WOAH WOAH WOAH, ANIMUS? Why wasn't this mentioned in the backstory?? How did this affect him? Why am I only knowing now? Does he know? Does the queen know? Why isn't he dead?
Because since it is NEVER MENTIONED in the backstory, I think it's safe to say that it's probably not that important to his character.
Same with the "being adopted by the queen", I feel like this was only added to this OC to make him seem cooler, but not really to actually contribute to his character. Please remove this.
Also, this is impossible. The animus gene has been confirmed to have died out in the SkyWings; unless one of his ancestors mated with a tribe that still has the animus gene, then I'm very much questioning how he got the animus ability.
time period: IDK
Ok
Abilities: fire breathing
... Just fire breathing? SkyWings have more abilities than that lmao, but I'll let it slide, I'm just gonna assume you meant "regular SkyWing abilities"
Role: Prince
Like I said in the backstory, I recommend you remove this
Residence is JM
Alrighty.
My Rating:
8.2/10
Originality: 23/25 (1 point knocked off for being adopted by a queen, 1 point knocked off for the animus ability)
Realism: 14/25 (2 points knocked off for the animus ability, 1.5 points knocked off for him being adopted by a queen, 1.5 points knocked off for the lack of appearance, 2 points knocked off for the personality, 1.5 points knocked off for the NightWings attacking his parents without a reason, .5 points off for going to JMA as an adult, 1.5 points knocked off for the not-detailed backstory, .5 points knocked off for the name Leopard Gecko)
Interest: 20/25 (I'm very interested in this character)
Uniqueness: 25/25 (This character is very unique)
Comments:
Overall, a pretty good OC, but a bit of lengthening and going in-depth with things certainly wouldn't hurt.
YOU ARE READING
WoF OC Reviews
RandomWings of Fire OC Reviews! Not my original idea. (If you don't know what OCs are, they are "Original Characters") Also, yes, I'm aware - there are about two thousand of these kinds of books. I know. And probably nobody's going to see this book.