Keeping you a secret

Chapter Twenty-Eight

I rolled over to see Sarah still sleeping peacefully, I carefully pushed the hair from her face. I couldn't but smile as I stared at the sleeping beauty in front of me.

"I love you" I whispered.

I sighed and as quietly as possible climbed out of bed and made my way into the bathroom. I washed my face and had a quick shower. I felt so much better and more awake. I walked back into the room where Sarah was now awake.

"I love you too" she smiled.

My cheeks felt warm and my lips curled into the biggest smile.

"So what are we going to do today?" I asked.

It was out last day here and I wanted to do something fun, and get into nature.

"We could go on a hike to that waterfall my cousin mentioned" she shrugged.

"That sounds perfect" I smiled.

There was no way I wasn't going swimming so I pulled out a beautiful mustard coloured one piece. I pulled over a pair of black shorts and a red t-shirt and a pair of black sneakers.

When we were both dressed I grabbed my camera and we headed to the hiking track. Luckily for us Sarah had spent time here as a teen so she knows these trails pretty well.

After about an hour walk we finally arrived at the waterfall. Naturally I wanted to snap a few photos while we were here, even though I couldn't post them anywhere. After a few pictures Sarah took the camera from me and took some of just me. Instead of fighting her on it I just posed and let her have her fun.

I got a bit bored of taking photos so we went for a swim. I took off my outer clothing and ran into the cool, crystal clear water. When I came up I turned around and noticed Sarah still taking photos. I rolled my eyes and laughed.

"Come on, put the camera down and join me" I waved for her to come in.

Without hesitation she put the camera down and jumped in.

We had swam for a while and I was getting hungry so while Sarah was under the waterfall I snuck out and sat at the table with my camera and some food. I had my camera set up waiting for her to come out of the water. It took her a few minutes to notice I was no longer in the water and when she did she instantly headed towards me. I had my finger on the button and just kept napping photos. Some of them were perfect.

"I guess this makes us even" she laughed.

I nodded taking a bite of my sandwich. After we ate we went for another short swim before we took the hour hike back.

"I definitely need a nap before we go out to dinner" I sighed plonking onto the bed.

Sarah yawned and plonked down next to me.

I was woken a few hours later by Sarah who was already getting ready. I rubbed my eyes and sat up.

It was already dark outside, I climbed out of bed and made my way to the bathroom. In all honesty I didn't want to leave the room but I sucked it up and got myself changed.

I slipped on a purple dress that stopped just above the knee, it hugged my body tightly but wasn't at all uncomfortable, I slipped into my black ballet flats. I looked at myself in the mirror and for the first time in a long time I felt uncomfortable in my skin. I didn't like what I saw and that made me sad.

I took a deep breath and put on some red lipstick. It didn't match my dress or mood in the slightest but it was cheery.

"Let's go" I smiled.

We walked down to the restaurant and took a seat at our table. I studied the menu for an unusually long time so I didn't have to show my face. I felt sad, but not in the way were I had been hurt or see something sad but in the way where my entire body hurts and is sad for no reason at all. It couldn't have been a number of things, I'm rolling with being homesick because right now I just want to be in my bed, alone in the dark where I can just be in complete peace.

I sigh when the waiter comes over to take our order. This means the menu will be taken and I'll have to show my face.

"Can I get you something to drink?" He asks.

I order myself a glass or wine, it's both class and alcoholic. I think it's pretty clear you shouldn't drink when you're sad, especially when you're sad for no reason but drinking has a way of numbing you to your feelings and right now that's exactly what I needed.

It was a chore to keep up the conversation through dinner. The one thing that should never be a chore and that's the only way I could explain this feeling.

"I love you" Sarah said squeezing my hand on the walk back to the room.

"I love you to" I stated.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

"Just tired" I fibbed.

It wasn't a complete lie, I am tired, so tired just not in the sense I meant it.

She smiled at me but didn't say a word. I was sure she picked up that I was lying but she was kind enough to let it slide for now.

When we got into the room the first thing I did was go for a shower. The warmth of the water always had a way of comforting me even in the worst of times. I could feel my chest get heavy and that pesky lump in my throat, the one you get just before you're about to cry. What is wrong with me?

I must have been in the shower for an unusually long time because Sarah knocked on the door to make sure I was okay.

"I'm nearly done" my voice cracked.

After my shower I did feel a bit better, I don't know if it was the comforting effects of the hot water or the fact I let out some build up emotions but either way I knew it was temporary.

I climbed into bed and prayed I would fall asleep quickly.

(Sorry for the kind of sad chapter but I felt the story really needed something and I am in no way trying to glorify or mock mental illness, I myself suffer and what I'm trying to put across is how much people with mental illnesses suffer so please bare with me)