TW: EATING DISORDER YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Clutching my fat stomach as I empty the contents of dinner...
I remember the first time I threw up my food...it was horrible...it turned into a habit. Everyday....
Now it's I clutch my stomach cuz it hurts or maybe cuz I'm trying not to empty the contents of my lunch or dinner...(don't eat breakfast).
It still happens even after a long time.
Like a really really long time...BUT I'VE STOPPED. I PROMISE...URGES ARE DIFFERENT FROM ACTUALLY DOING IT. I REPEAT I HAVE STOPPED.
It's like when a skinny person develops a eating disorder..it's not fine..and everybody's worried about them and stuff...
BUT
When a "fat" person develops an eating disorder...they're congratulated on this..on losing weight. And peoples start noticing them more...and they get included more.
Haha my mum gave me $5 for loosing weight...and fitting in to a pair of jeans... YAY!?? I have no idea how to feel about this. And then said," keep it up." Okay thanks mum.
