chapter 18 | thoughts alone

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"my thoughts alone are heavy

can you hold my hand?"

-caitlyn scarlett, happy when

-caitlyn scarlett, happy when

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ERIC

I DON'T know how she makes me feel. Sometimes she pisses me off, like when she defies me and thinks she can get away with it. Sometimes she enchants me, makes my walls crumble. Like now.

I've never seen her with her hair down. It rests just above her shoulders, dark as her doe eyes, wrapping her arms around me. She giggles into my chest and I feel warm inside for a moment. My hair lifts to her locks, soft to the touch.

Then she looks up at me, and I lose whatever sense I had.

Pressing my body against hers, she stumbles against the wall of the Pit. My lips find hers and she doesn't protest, her hands grip my shoulders whilst mine explore her body. She moans against my mouth and I smirk, scooping my hands beneath her thighs and lifting her up higher.

I have got what I've wanted. It took a murder for it to happen, but it has happened. This beautiful girl is pressed against me, in her Dauntless clothing. She is Dauntless.

And in this moment, she is mine.

***

VENUS

WHEN I said intoxicated, I meant something more. This isn't intoxication. This is lust.

The scary Dauntless leader, right? I hear Harmonie's words in my head.

She was right.

Eric's ruthless demeanor around the compound. He is just as rough, he is domineering and I'm fighting to dominate, but he is too strong.

I'd never get caught doing this in Abnegation. I'd never have a chance put in front of me like this,  I wouldn't have this ferocity, a man this compelling who is slowly setting my body on fire.

Goosebumps spring wherever his hands reach, and I let out a gasp as he sucks the sensitive skin on my neck.

My body rocks against his, and I forget everything. I forget the fact I'm at a funeral. I forget the fact I'm at his ex's funeral, it makes me feel disgusted.

"Venus!" I hear a voice call. It sounds deadly familiar, in amidst all the alcohol, and I turn my face away from Eric. His lips hover against my neck. He doesn't stop like I do.

"Come on, baby," He urges, and his voice sets spars alight inside my body. I murmur agreement and submit to him once more, and then I hear my name again.

"Venus!"

Suddenly, I'm pushed away from Eric. I slip down the wall as Eric's hands leave my body, his lips leave my skin and I suddenly feel cold as I stumble, regaining balance.

Frustration builds in my chest, turning to the person who separated us, only to see Four. He glares at Eric, his fists coiled, his jaw clenched and a dangerous look glints his dark blue eyes.

"Hey!" I yell at him, my brows furrowed as I push him back a little, breaking him out of his staring contest with Eric, who looks equally as angered. "You can't stop me! You're not my father!"

Marcus wouldn't have approved of this. If he saw me even talking to a boy, it wouldn't end well for both of us, especially me. I wasn't going to let a stupid instructor like Four come in the way of something new!

Suddenly, Four's eyes soften and he stops tensing. His shoulders slump a little and he looks smaller, younger, and I admire his small features - Abnegation short hair, familiar depth-ful dark blue eyes.

"I know I'm not." He stares into my eyes and my arms drop to my sides. The vulnerability in his eyes, like the moments he stood before his father. Rather, my father. Our father.

"I'm your brother."


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