ALL THE WRONGS • DIVERGENT ERIC FANFICTION

chapter 75 | leaving deathrow

Warning! Mentions of self-harm ahead!

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ERIC THOUGHT that leaving death row would come as a gift - he wasn't stuck looking at the same four walls and listen to Rhett slowly turn mad yards away from him - but the days dragged on just as long.

It had been two days since he thought he was going to die. Two days since Tris almost shot him in the head, two days since she fell to the ground. Two days since she died.

She could have opened the box. Whatever was inside it, could either destroy what's left of Chicago or help rebuild it - or, of course, leave it in the same mess.

Tobias grieves silently. Eric sees him - walking around the hallways with his head down, looking out onto the horizon. He hasn't stopped moving since what happened - the bounce of his leg, tapping of his fingers against every surface, walking around and around in tedious little circles and Eric was waiting and watching for him to just snaees. To just break something, smash something - a window, a wall, like he did back then. Back when Eric thought Venus had died.

Eric knew how Tobias felt. Knew the darkness that was consuming him from inside out, like a dark cloud hanging too low over his head. Thoughts, memories and all the little things to drive you insane. He hasn't said a word. He just keeps moving.

All Eric can think about is the harrowing fact that Venus is stuck, trapped in a rusty cell with her thoughts alone. No way to communicate with anyone who understands, or to see Aria. Eric decided not to see her. Was it the responsibility that scared him? No. He wasn't scared. That was a ridiculous, obscene thought. But somewhere, somehwre deep down, he knew it was the truth. He has always relied on himself. Could hardly keep his own head from underwater, not to mention anyone else.

It had been a day since Harmonie was dragged from her cell. There wasn't much anyone could do about it. No one respected Eric anymore, and Four was too buried in grief to know what was going on.

Emily had decided not to go to the execution. Instead, after dropping Aria off at the nursery with the woman who promised Aria's safety, she knocked against Eric's door, and stepped inside with a vague expression.

Emily didn't hate him. It wasn't exactly hate, anyway. It was just annoyance (although, then again, annoyance had been there from the start). She sat down on the bench across from him and looked him dead in the eyes.

"I'm going to miss her."

First, Eric thought she was talking about Venus because she was the first thing on his mind then, but then he realized she was talking about Harmonie and nodded slowly. "Well, she did betray us-"

"That was a stupid thing to say." Emily glowered at him. "That was a stupid thing to say, because you betrayed us all, too."

Eric wanted to argue but there was nothing to argue about.

"You aided in killing many Divergents." It was a cruel thing to bring up, but she added it because she was feeling bitter. "You almost killed your own daughter. The daughter you didn't even want."

"Don't you dare bring that up," He stood up quickly, approaching her slouching form with rage in his icy blue eyes. "You don't know the half of it-"

"I... I don't know the half of it?" Emily stood up now too, her left hand clenched into a tight fist. "I know the whole damn lot of it! The glass is full - no, it's spilling over. You think you know her better than me, then God, you're a joke."

Eric made a sound of disagreement in the back of his throat, and Emily rolled her eyes into the back of her skull.

"When we were younger, I literally left Amity to sneak into Abnegation and see her. She'd always be waiting on the cracked pavement a couple houses down from her own, out of view from her father's window. We'd sit in the same empty, abandoned library and she'd tell me everything. Everything." Emily didn't know if Eric was listening. He had his back turned, and he was glaring at the wall. Emily didn't really care if he was listening or not. She just wanted to say this, even if it was just for herself.

"She'd tell me everything Marcus had done since I last visited, and every single damn time I came back, I just remember how it was slowly getting worse. Little bruises that could be covered were turning into cuts to scars to broken bones. Cuts that were so deep - some of them weren't from Marcus. Some of them were from herself."

Eric turned slowly, hurt in his eyes and the glimpse of tears, but he blinked them away. "She... she never told me that."

"She didn't tell me that, either. Not directly. I just knew from the look in her eyes, and the way she started crying. And how I once stopped her from doing it."

"I'm sorry."

No, Emily thought, don't tell me that. You should tell her that.

Emily sat back down, and covered her face with her hands. Eric stared at her for a second, before letting out a sigh and sitting down next to her.

"Harmonie's in a better place. A... a place she deserves." Emily knew there would be no funeral, no tears cried for a traitor. So Emily started crying. She thought she'd never see the day she'd burst into tears next to the intimidating Dauntless leader, but then again, she never thought she'd see the day he stopped being intimidating to her anymore. But he wasn't intimidating anymore. He was just as broken as her, and Venus and the rest of them.

"You're right." Eric said after a moment, and threw an arm over her shoulders.

Emily let out a sigh, and roughly wiped her eyes with the side of her hand.

After seconds of silence, Eric spoke up. "It's like I never know when you're about to start yelling at me. Do you hate me? Or... is that just you-"

"You just had to say something stupid, didn't you?" Emily grunted, glaring up at him in disbelief. "That's exactly why I don't like you, Eric."