pure fiction // ziam

sixty five // liam

I stare up at the sky, watching the clouds pass by. I'm trying to waste time here in the pool until Toby gets home from work. Which won't be until later.

I've been swimming around this pool for about an hour now, thinking about what I'm going to do about Zayn. Mainly what I'm going to tell Toby when it's time to break up with him. I can't keep doing this, hurting Toby without him even knowing. It's killing me that I'm hurting him. This is not who I imagined I would turn out to be: a lying, cheating, whore of a boyfriend.

Fuck Liam, you can do better than this.

I hear the doorbell and I totally forgot that Gigi asked to come over. I rush out of the pool and grab my towel. I realized that I'm fully naked, since I'm trying out this whole skinny dipping thing. And honestly, it feels really fucking great. I should really do this more often. When I open the door, my heart feels like it's about to explode.

"Zayn... everyone. What are you guys doing here?" I say confused.

"We are here to watch the biggest fight of the year" Louis responded.

"No we are not," Harry says, smacking Louis in the back of the head "we are here to watch you and Zayn make up and maybe get back together or maybe not"

"I'm here as the referee" Gigi said.

"Oh..." I stood there in silence for a second, thinking about what exactly needs to be done, "Come in. I'll go change" I finish off saying, and let them inside.

I go to my room and close the door with a lock. I wonder how long I can be in here without worrying about them anymore. Maybe I should just stay in here and avoid the whole situation... if Zayn knows about what happened the night of the party then he's probably here to make amends or whatever and try to get back together with me. The thought of that warmed me up inside but I also felt a part of me reject it as if it was forbidden for me to feel sympathy or love towards him.

I sit on the edge of my bed, thinking. Thinking about what I should say and what I shouldn't say, there's too much at stake here if I really want to get back together with him. And I really do want us to end up together, get married, maybe have kids, have tons of great sex, that's all I want and all I see; a future and a lifetime with Zayn.

Not even Toby fulfills that fantasy.

"Uggghhhh" I groan and laid back in my bed. I still haven't changed and I don't plan on doing so for a long while until I get my thoughts together.

My thoughts take me to a deep place; a deep, dirty place. All I can think about now is how much I want to be able to get Zayn on top of me, riding me for hours on end. I so want to fuck the living hell out of that boy. Stop Liam. No, my sex drive is shooting through the roof right now and I wish I had Zayn on me right now. 

I heard a knock on the door and quickly rushed to find a pair of underwear, "Coming!"

"It's okay! You can finish coming" It was Louis.

"Shut up!" I said and walked over to open the door. 

"Did you clean up?" Louis asked as he stepped inside my bedroom. 

"No because I wasn't doing anything"

"Then why are you still hard as a rock" Louis said as he motions his eyes down there. 

"I was just thinking...wait, why do I have explain myself to you?" I said and Louis laughed, "What are you doing here anyways and not waiting with the others?"

"I came to check if you were masturbating because I saw the way you were eating Zayn with your eyes" Louis said as he sat down on my bed.

"Is it that obvious?" I felt embarrassed that I'm not able to hide my feelings for Zayn. It's just so hard when such a beautiful human being exists during the same time as me, and I have the chance to get with him.

"Yes, and I need you to tell me what exactly you're going to tell him once we walk out of this room"

"I-I don't know. This was all unexpected."

"Liam," Louis gives me a look "are you fucking serious?"

"What?"

"Just speak your fucking mind. What you're feeling in your heart. Just say it. No one will judge you, in fact I think that if you say exactly what you're feeling for Zayn there's a one hundred percent chance he'll take you back. But you also have to handle the situation with Toby..." Louis says as he looks over at the picture of Toby and I on the nightstand.

"That's the thing... Toby. I really care about him and I don't want to hurt him."

"Liam... you're only going to have one great love story and I believe that's with Zayn"

I stare blankly at Louis for a second. One great love story... with Zayn. 

"Come on, who do you see your future with? Toby or Zayn?"

"Zayn. Definitely Zayn."

"See. Was that so hard to admit?"

"I just feel so guilty. It's like I'm betraying Toby" I said, feeling my eyes tear up a bit. I can't cry right now, not like this.

"Save your tears for when you actually get out there." Louis says as he stands up from the bed. He's almost at the door when he stops and turns around, "I hope you decide what's right in your heart" and he walks out. 

Get your shit together Liam.