Threats (Sequel to 'Feelings')

[14] The Truth

Andy's P. O. V.
The dark thoughts started to well up again. No, I didn't want to hear them anymore, I didn't want to listen! I grabbed my guitar and started playing the first melody that popped up in my head in an attempt to drown the voices out. But they stubbornly persisted. I started playing faster, louder, but the voices only increased in volume along with the music. I sped up even more, my fingers flew over the strings in an almost violent manner. Rye suddenly entered the room. I abruptly stopped playing. "That sounded... Wild" he said. I nodded. He sat down next to me. "I saw Amanda today... She told me about Shay and... What happened at that camp back then" he mumbled. Oh no, he knew!? What if he thought I was a monster now? "Please don't hate me" was all I could say. "Hate you? Why would I hate you Fovvs?" he asked. "Because it was my fault" I muttered, afraid to look him in the eyes. "It wasn't your fault, you couldn't have known Amanda told me-" "But Amanda doesn't know the whole story" I cut him off. "Wh-what do you mean?" Rye asked. "I didn't tell Amanda how I knew where to find Shay. She thinks I did an unlucky guess but that's not true. I knew where to look because I knew she went up there" I said, my voice cracking at the end. "Tell me" Rye said softly, holding me closer. "The night before Shay got murdered, I saw her sneak away. I stopped her and she promised not to go. I assumed she went back to her room after that but she didn't. I simply left her there without checking if she actually went back to her room. The next day she was missing..." tears started to well up in my eyes again. Rye gave me a gentle kiss on the cheek." Continue, it's okay" he whispered. "... The moment I knew she was missing I immediatly realised where she went. I hoped I was wrong so bad, but I found her body instead. Later we were told that she had been forced into sexual abuse and then strangled to death. And I know I just know that it was my fault. There are so many things I could've done differently she might've been alive right now and none of this would be happening right now. And I'm having dark thoughts again Rye, really dark ones. They accuse me of being a monster  and they're saying you're better off without me" I sobbed. I hadn't cried in a very long time, but all the emotions came up again, flooding over, threatening to drown me. Would Rye hate me now? Surely he would right? He wouldn't want to have a murderer as a boyfriend. But to my suprise he didn't scold me, or leave. Instead he kept hugging me. "Andy, listen to me. You are not a monster. I know you're not. Tell me, did you want Shay to die?" he said in a soft voice. I shook my head. "Did you know she'd go back? Did you know she was going to die?" he asked again. I shook my head again. "Then why do you think you're the one to blame" he asked me with a small smile. I buried my face in the crook of his neck. "I love you Rye" I whispered. "I love you too Fovvlar" he whispered. Maybe it was a good thing he knew now. Maybe the stupid voices would leave. I sure hoped so.

Authors note
Yay, Randy is going Strong!💪
Wasn't the most interesting chapter but hey Randy is cute sooo.

Please comment on my story I love seeing your reactions💞
Alsooo I am considering writing a scene containing smut soon, would like ro read smut?😅

Two different finals on TV first off Netta won Eurovision yaaaay she definitly deserves it. 💞
And 'De mol' ended too. Pieter was the mole!? That means I was wrong all along! 😂😅

See ya later humans!
Salute! 🙋

-Manon💞