Always there for you [Destiel Mafia - Police AU]

Chapter 13 - Too good to be real

[A/N: Thank you for the 560+ reads, 40+ votes and the 20 followers, fellas. D: ]

Castiel's PoV

I woke up to the missing warmth beside me. When my hand scanned the mattress and I eventually realized that I am alone in the bed. I opened my eyes to check the room. My lazy gaze searched for a clock being somewhere, to inform me what time it is.

I groaned when there was nothing like that around, so I had to push myself up, letting the sheets fall from my upper body into my lap. I looked down at my chest and noticed that it was cleaned up, memories of the night before were picturing themselves in my mind. I felt happiness and fear at the same time.

I rubbed eyes with both of my hands, stroking over my face as a last move and swung my legs to the side, to finally get up. I felt complicated. I didn't know how to describe it, but it was the feeling of experienced something incredibly good, something I was waiting for for years, but feeling like I should hide forever and not get out of his bed ever again, keeping the fear and using it for my own good.

It was ambivalent.

I sat there for a few more seconds, before I eventually pulled myself up to my feet. I wasn't just cleaned up, I was wearing some boxers too. I chuckled to myself, before I walked over to the commode to get some sweatpants and a shirt, to get dressed into. Surprisingly my back didn't hurt as much as I imagined it. It wasn't a painful thing, just my body reminding me that there was something.

My mind drifted to the nightmare I had before. It was so realistically, terrifying and fierce. Pictures of someone cleaning his hands from blood insert in my vision, my whole body tensed because I knew it was mine.

My blood.

This person then took the weapon he hurt me with and cleaned them cursorily, with a dirty wet cloth. I gulped, feeling how dry my throat was. My hands were shaking and all I could get out was a whimper. The pain in my chest was raising dramatically, the oxygen having struggle to stay in my lungs and my vision faded, from the tears which build in my eyes. A beep thrilled through my ears, making me flinch and choking out in terror.

Suddenly I was looking at a the commode, in which my clothes were. I wasn't there anymore. My breathing was heavy and I lost equilibrium in my stand, so I had to take wall to comfort. I stroked with my fingers through my hair, noticing the sweat there.

I took a few more minutes, staring down at my body. My eyes were checking every skin twice and searching for the cause of the pain I was feeling. It felt like someone was cutting them, over and over again. But all I saw were the healing wounds, from Meg's treatment.

With a few controlled breaths I tried to calm down slowly, taking oxygen in from my nose and letting it out from my mouth.

The moment I controlled myself eventually, I shook my whole body, like I was warming up for a fight or anything. Shaking my arms and feet, rolling my neck and taking deep breaths. That was depressing. Meg asked me if I was in the mental state to leave the hospital and all I said to her was that I can't even remember what happened. She believed me, of course she did. I knew how to lie, at least I knew how to look so it seems like the truth. 

But the truth is, I remember everything. Everything what happened after the hearing, it still was in my memory. Uriel dragging me away, bringing me somewhere far away, asking me questions about what I know about the Winchester-case and telling me that I should find my place. I had to look into eyes, full of hate and murder, while he was trying to put on a pokerface. He told me that I should decide for a side, so I did. The only thing what I couldn't remember was how I got into the hospital.