Matthew: *wakes to find him self tied to a tree with the figure of a person staring at him eerily from a distance*
Matthew: well.
Matthew: I didn't know you were this kinky Alex.
Serial Killer: it's always the quiet ones that get you
Matthew: wait wha—
————
Ruby: m-a
Hazel: omg she's gonna say momma
Ruby: ma..
Ruby: *demonic voice* mURDER
Frank: ...
Ares: omg my granddaughter is adorable
————
Elizabeth: Mama where do babies come from?
Nyx: ... *sweating profusely* uh...
Nyx: *throws smoke bomb* dISTRACTION—
————
Elijah: *hears loud sobbing*
Elijah: *opens the door to room*
Elijah: hello—
Lily: HE WAS TOO YOUNG TO DIE
Elijah: who again?
Lily: Chuck. N e w t .
Elijah: *tearing up* s-stop bringing this up
Lily: ITS OKAY TO CRY BRO
*loud sobbing from upstairs*
(Meanwhile Downstairs)
Jason: *slightly worried* are they okay???
Piper: *sips from coffee* this is completely normal. Stop worrying Sparky. It will pass with time
(Years later the same thing happens over different fandoms*
Jason: HOW LONG ARE WE GOING TO WAIT
————
(Teen years)
Nyx: please don't jump into the lava
Elizabeth: *gives her the finger and jumps in*
Nearby monster: no way she'll survive that
Elizabeth: *survives just to spite them*
————
Percy: so how about we go pick up some blue cupcakes—
Alice: I don't like blue
Percy:
Percy: weLL I GUESS ILL EAT THEM BY MYSELF *is hurt* *small manly tear*
Magnus: *hands her a bag of candy* I have never been so proud to call you my niece
Alice: *serious nod* pleasure doing business with you
————
(If Annabeth didn't find out her cousin was still around 'til later)
Alice: so this is Uncle Magnus's gravestone?
Annabeth: yeah
Alice: it's so wrong. It's such a boring shape. It isn't even coated in blood and glitter *teary gaze*
Annabeth: he will be missed—
Magnus: IM BACK FROM THE DEAD HI HOW IS LIFE—???
————
Calypso: *gardening with music playing*
Esper: DAD WHERE DID LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE ORIGINATE
Leo: YOU ARE FOUR WHY DO YOU CARE???
Leo: I can't d e a l with this—CALY HELP
Calypso: *turns up music and continues gardening*
————
Alice: *with teenage rebellion* GO TO TARTARUS
Annabeth: BEEN THERE, DONE THAT
