If Only {Part One}

Chapter Twenty-One

Corbyn's Lovely, Tragic Funeral

"We are gathered here today to celebrate the short, but amazing life of, Corbyn Matthew Besson," a priest said. I started crying. I grabbed a tissue. I was holding Ashley, and Jonah's hands. I started holding onto Ashley. I knew she needed someone. Her and Bean were really close, almost twins. She needed someone who felt the same, or kind of the same. So I was there. 

The priest did more Catholic, funeral stuff. Corbyn had an open casket. The priest put holy water on him, and blessed him. I wanted to so bad go to his cold, decaying body, and kiss him once more. I miss him so much! I need his humble presence with me. 

Ashley went up, for her speech. The parents already did theirs. Jonah didn't want to say anything. He needed to at the casket. "Thank you all for coming, for my *cry* amazing big brother. The best brother I could ever ask for. I remember one time, I was playing tag with him at the park. He was it. He was chasing me, and I tripped. He immediately picked up his pace, and sat with me. He grabbed my hurt knee, and kissed it. He hugged me, while whispering in my ear, 'I will always be your rock. You can depend on me. I will always be with you no matter what." *cries*. He said all this to me. I can't help but wonder, if he is still with me. I know he will forever be in my mind, and heart. He has always been the best person I know. When we would fight, he would come to me no matter how mad he was. He would hug me, and apologize. He would say the same thing. I remember when he was going to board the plane, for the first time to L.A. He hugged me so tight, I could hardly breathe, and said, "I am your rock. Lean on me. Let me help you. I love you no matter what comes our way. If you kill someone I will help you dispose of any evidence *everyone laughs* I will always be here for you. If my time is up, before yours, just know I will still be there always for you. You are my sister, I will always forgive you!" Then he hugged me again. Every time he would go some place after that, he would say the same thing. Corbyn has always just been my hero, and my rock. I could lean on him for whatever purpose, and he would be there. He would always help me. I wish he could have *cry* lived to help me more. I wish he lived to be able to help me dispose of evidence if in need of his help. Sadly his time left, with him. The time that left, can't take the memories, or time before. Nothing ever will," Ashley said. When she got down I hugged her. 

I went up for my speech. "I have known Corbyn for only a short time. I fell in love with him for millions of reasons. We always acted like we were married. We would just stay glued together, and now I feel like my glue has washed, and replace with tighter glue. I can't explain how happy he made me.  He was always so happy with me. We would argue, but nothing would end us, not even death. I still miss him, and I will never not miss him. He was my everything. He is my everything. Unlike the part of a wedding, till death do us part, death will never do us any parting. I feel like sometimes he is still with me. I can feel his presence. I was the lucky one, who got to hold him like he would never leave. He did, but one day I will be with my true love once again. I don't care how people always say, well what if he goes to heaven, and you go to purgatory. I will see him no matter what. God himself knows that we are meant to be. He only took him from him for a little while. In another life I will be his girl, once again. I will always love him. Corbyn once told me, that he would want an open casket. He said he wanted people to see how hot he was, even when he has passed. He said that he wanted people to see him, and remember the memories. He said he wanted people to see he is still there. I knew him so well. Bean always had such weird nicknames for me. He called me pickle mic, Mon- ocal, Mon-bun, mon-bon. He always said what he knew would make me happy. I loved how considerate he was. I remeber how he would say really random things all the time. He is my soul mate.Thank you!" 

Later that day I went straight to bed. I called him. Of course he didn't answer his phone. He is at least six feet under. I still hope, it was me instead. He was my soul mate. He was my everything. He stole my heart. I can't get over him. Sure I have had other boyfriends before, and said the same thing, but this time is different. I feel a pang in my chest every time I even hear his name. I only felt an itch when it was other boyfriends.

 I cried myself to sleep like I have been doing, since the day I was told that my other half had been murdered. I remember the devilish look on the guys face. He was scary. I told Corbyn I was scared. The guy tried to stab me, but then Corbyn yelled at him. He took the first two bullets because he tried to save me. He didn't he broke me instead. If that was my time, I would have been willing to go. For Corbyn. I owe my whole ass life to him. I can't  love anyone ever again, the same way at least. I need my special Bean! My heart, my soul, my every damn thing! 

I saw him again. He was with someone else. I read a watch on my arm. It read one of the days we were together. She was grinding on him. He looked as it he was enjoying it. Too much. Then he saw me, and gave me the same look the other guy had.  I screamed.   Jonah ran in the room and shook me, till I was awake. It was a night mare. I have been having night mares too. I just can't get over the depressed, sorrow, hatred I have for the person, and Corbyn. I don't hate Corbyn. I miss the days we would laugh till we went to the hospital. I would laugh more after that. I am sorry for this!

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Hey guys! Depressing ass shit this chapter is. I am really sorry. Next chapter is Daniel's funeral.  I am sorry! 

Shove someone in a hole with a pitch-fork Bye! <333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333