I Guess So || Luke Brooks

Officially. 41

We spent the whole day laughing, talking about moving, talking about how we got home almost 3 in the morning since we decided not to stay a night at the hotel, and how we don't know how we didn't get caught with drunk driving.

Oh and the part how for some reason we weren't tired from lack of multiple hours of no sleep.

"What if you grew your hair to your butt?" I giggled.

"You can slap me when that happens." he said, squeezing my hand.

He let out a sigh and I looked up at him, my eyes being met by his as we walked under the town lights.

"We need to, um, discuss, some things." he said. Discuss? What could you possibly tell me? I already know about aliens, okay?

"You've taken the Janoskian stuff - pretty well. But since now you know I'm pretty some what 'famous' as they call it, it's most likely a picture of us today is gonna get on a magazine, and they're gonna ask me about you in interviews, comments, shit like that, but what am I going to say?"

Okay, I knew about aliens but I had no idea that would come out his mouth. Ilet everything run through my head. You've known about Luke since October, but finally got to know him and actually do stuff in February, but doesn't it feel like more? Don't you think it feels like family by now with his brothers and Daniel + James?

And hasn't he been put through so much shit for you? Hasn't he been there for you more than you have for yourself?

Hasn't he earned at least that much, after he krept between your walls and showed you how to take some of them down?

It was silent between us, making our way back to the car. I hoped in the passenger's side, trying to take my mind off the fact I had school starting in four days and the answser I had to come up with.

We just sat, driving on our way back home. Stopping at red lights when the streets were empty. For him, anything to buy time.

"You don't have to answer. It's obvious you wont." I looked away from the moon and up to him, his face seeming to be full of gloom.

"I-"

"Just.. don't say anything."

"Luke."

"We do everything together. You've lived with me for spring break, I've came over every single day before, almost, I have picture frames of us in my house, I share my bed with you, I give you a shoulder to cry on and you do the same, we talk about everything, I dunk you under water when you take a bath then scrub you hair as if you were a dog and you tell me every story on your mind, we share sweat pants and hoodies, we get ice cream together, we hog the blankets from eachother, you bring me toilet paper when I've took such a shit I have no more, in which not even Jai does with out chucking it at me but no you just pinch your nose and put your hand through the door and wait for me to take it, we argue like there's no tomorrow, we go out of our way for each other, I yell at you when you smoke,

we say I love you.

But we don't have it all sealed."

The poor boy was trying to be serious but I couldn't hide my giggles to well from the toilet part. He scoffed a little, trying not to laugh along.

We stopped at another red light, returning to all seriousness, the atmosphere growing quite eerie. I just sat there, looking at the corner ahead we would take and then arrive home.

The light switched to green and we took the corner, I bolting out the car. I knocked on the door and it was opened by Jai, his necklace dangling. I looked and saw the other four on the floor in front of the TV, soon all seven of us after I changed.

I layed my head on Jai's shoulder as James layed on my lap, as we watched 21 Jump street yet again.

"Do you think they have those in buffalo wings rather than barbeque?" Daniel broke the silence.

"What things?" James asked from my lap.

"The drug thingy they put on their tongues you dumbass."

"Don't get any ideas." Luke jumped in.

"Do you think they taste good?" Daniel asked, turning around to face us all.

"Daniel!" Beau yelled.

"IT'S A SIMPLE FUCKING QUESTION!"

"THERE'S NO ANSWER!"

"Children!" I shouted, causing Jai to jump which gave me a giggle. I apolgized softly and nuzzled into him a bit more, realizing how gloomy he's been lately. He wasn't around us to much the past few days this week, staring out the windows, then eating, then sleeping, then in his room, repeat.

Jai gave of a big brother affect on me, even though he was the baby between his family. I wanted to comfort him, and of course any of the other boys if they were in his state, but I knew it was partially because he missed Arianna outside of Facetime.

He nuzzled himself into me a bit, whispering so only I could hear.

"Look at Luke."

I obeyed his command, searching the dark room until i saw his darker form isolated from everyone and leaning against the wall as he hugged his knees and bit his lip, eyes glossy as they reflected from the light of the TV, or so I thought.

I removed two from me, the body pillow being released to run to their need.

We dragged eachother out onto the patio, where I was shocked to see his eyes blarring red and glossy as he yanked his arm away from me.

Before he could say anything I cut him off.

"You don't know what it's like to have walls like skyscrappers and to have to shut away someone you love so much because you don't want to break again and live in fear."

"I do ever since I met you."

Our hair was being tossed all over by the wind from the approaching storm, his being blown back as mine was now flying past my face and almost touching him.

I felt a pit in my stomach and my heart wrench from another brick landing on it as it fell from the wall.

"But it's okay, I'm going to wait until we die. I'm going to wait until you fall for Jai." He yelled.

"I'm not falling for Jai!"

"Because it could be anyone else, right?!"

"Exactly!"

His face turned grey and cold.

"I'm falling for you! And so are my walls and that's why I could never do that to my boyfriend!"

I let the words tumble off my lips, the such foreign words, and blow over to Luke. Everything was registering, for both of us, and I was soon embraced as he lunged for me.

He was mine, officially. Mine.

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