I gasp, taking a short amount of air. My head stings from all the thoughts that are surging through my head. Why him? Why me? Why now? His silver eyes interrogate me as he smirks. My head spins, I attempt to cover my chest with my knees as I pull them to my torso. Cat looks confused and I look away quickly, hoping this headache will stop.
Should I leave?
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Where?
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I can barely stand up as I feel like passing out. I somehow stumble all the way to the bathrooms. My eyes won't stay open. I shove open the door as I feel like throwing up. I almost feel drunk as I scuff my feet on the tile, gaining strange and concerned looks from an older woman.
I open a stall and enter it with a jerk. He's just trying to hurt me. I can't let him hurt me again. Five years is already too long, I don't need to make it six. I look at my long sleeve shirt. Tugging the fabric gently I reveal my cuts from a few days ago.
You coward, you are the only one who knows about this, why? I don't need them worrying about me. I'm supposed to be their happiness, I'm their role model. I can't make Mark worry either, then he'll take my razor.
Who would look up to someone like you?
Fans that I don't deserve. I have so many secrets that I've kept. They're too good for me.
Why do I talk to myself like this? My fans need someone that's strong. Not weak. I'm so pathetic that I can only wear long sleeves.
"Y/n?" I hear the strawberry blonde say quietly. I jump and hold my chest.
"Y-yeah?" I quickly cover my arm with my sleeve.
"Are you ok?" I open my stall, thankfully recovered from seeing Deven. My head still hurts a little, but's it's nothing that pills can't fix.
"Sure," Taylor just looks at me with concern as I turn away from her coldly, exiting the tense bathroom.
I find Natalie outside the door with a light smile. Taylor comes out behind me and they reunite as I look at the floor.
Click.
Clack.
Oh great. "Hey bitches!" Cat says approaching us. I look up as I feel her body heat against my shoulder. She smiles with her eyes as she puts her arm around my shoulder and we all walk to the front of the nearest store.
"I kinda wanna take y/n shopping, so are you two fine with shopping on your own?" The girls nod and Cat takes her arm off my shoulder. As soon as the girls walk away Cat turns to me. "Ok, so I have some shopping ideas. Wanna hear them?"
"Sure," I nod slightly.
"Ok, so I think we both know that you think I'm a bitch." She says lightly.
"N-" I start as she cuts me off by putting a finger on my lips.
"It's fine. I want to be friends with you. I promise. I think we should go get you a small wardrobe change. All payed by me. Does that sound fine?"
"You don't have to pay for me." I say quietly.
"But I want to." She grins. I just nod back and she drags me to a store that she clams is one of her favorites. I weakly follow behind her like a rag doll.
Her eyes soften as she notices how she was pulling me around. "I think I know some cute shirts that you could try on!" She walks to a section with a solid navy blue shirt with a pocket on the front of it. She glances from me to the shirt multiple times and smiles.
"Try this. There's more for you to try on so don't go to a changing room." I nod and she continues to look around for more clothes. I walk around multiple racks just I don't look crazy while I think to myself.
Should I stay? If Cat's being serious then I'd look like a dick if I left. Can I trust her. . . ugh why do I put so much trust in people? They always break it anyway. I wanna believe Cat is different though. I hope so. . .
Cat lightly taps my shoulder and I turn to her. "Here's some stuff for you to try on. I guessed your size, so I hope it all fits." I nod and walk to the changing rooms. Silently I open the door and look at my self in the mirror. Ew.
I shut the door and once I hear a small click I hang all the clothes on a hook. I hope I can trust her.
Sorry for not updating, my friends. I didn't know when I should stop the chapter, but now I'm just desperate to upload something. Next chapter you get to vote for a new cover!!! :D
Do you trust Cat?
What does Deven want?
Answer in the comments ;)
Love,
Hannah
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Sad Type • Crankgameplays
Fanfiction[This book involves mentions of self-harm. Do not read if you are struggling with mental health] {This book is a bit rusty in the beginning, but please stick with it as I have improved with my writing} This is the story of (Y/N). - Leaving an abu...
