Sad Type • Crankgameplays

32. Clarity

{ } = current Y/n

"Bye!" My mom shouts as I sit in his car. My belongings are in the backseat of his car and the radio plays. The song She Will Be Loved by Maroon 5, plays and I smile softly. I'm glad I can finally live with him, the man I love. I glance at him and admire him, I hope this moment will never end.

"Babe, I'm so glad that we get to move in together, since you're 17 now," I nod and look out the window.

"I don't have to be with my rude-ass mom anymore. I can be with you," I reply and he takes my hand. He lifts my hand to his lips and gives it a gentle kiss.

"You'll always be happy with me. I promise."

His words made my heart flutter and I couldn't stop replaying them in my head, all the way to my new home with him. Finally, someone cares about me as he does. Deven, I can't wait for our future.

{ More memories flood back to me and it makes my heartache }

He raised his hand and I flinched away from him, but not in time to avoid his forceful hand on my cheek. The pain stung my heart and cheek, tears brimmed my eyes. I looked away, but he forced me to look at him. "Go sit down, you're so weak. I'll just leave you for tonight, see you in the morning."

I took his advice and sat on the couch before I could collapse. He left the room to go to our bedroom and sleep for the night. I sighed and tried to collect myself and I rested my head in my hands. We've only been moved in together for three months, what did I do wrong? Slowly, breathing in and out I processed what just happened.

I'm probably just being a big wuss about this, it was only one slap Y/n. It's okay. Just pretend nothing happened tomorrow and let's not worry about it. I wipe the tears that were ready to fall and smile weakly. My heart really hurts.

{ A final memory hits me, this one hurts the most }

My sobs rang out in my car and I drove to my mother's house. My vision is blurred as I try to see the road in front of me. For my own safety, I wipe my eyes, but I accidentally push too hard on a bruise. Fuck, that hurts, I say to myself and pull up into the driveway.

Once I'm parked I pull down my sun visor and open the mirror. I see my red eyes staring back at me in the mirror, I am a mess. I look to under my eye and see a bruise he left on me. I run my fingers over it and think of the moment when he slapped me.

I feel so betrayed. I loved him with my whole heart, but he is not the man I thought he was. It hurt me inside that I was weak enough to believe him. Tired of looking at my own face, I slammed the sun visor shut and took a deep breath. My heart was pounding, will my mom let me stay with her? I open the car door and force myself out.

I walk up to the door of my mother's house and knock softly. "Mom, it's Y/n. Please open up, it's important," I plead at the wooden door. The doorknob turns and one of my mother's patients that can walk is at the door.

"Oh my! What happened to you, sweetie?" Diane questioned me. I look down and see that she's wearing a robe. Did I come too late at night?

"Uh, it's nothing, Diane. Is mom in there?" I question slowly.

"Is she in here? Let me check-" the sweet old lady turned her head and looked behind her. I waited patiently for her to finish, "Oh, here she is. Natalie honey, you're daughter is here to see you."

"Diane please go sit down! I'll get it when I'm done!" My mother shouts at her. Maybe this was a bad idea. She's obviously not in a good mood. Tears well up in my eyes, she's my only hope, I don't know who else to go to. I look down and try to control myself.

I shouldn't be here.

My thoughts immediately stop once my mother walks up to the door. "Y/n?" she says.

"Mom I-" I start, but am cut off by her.

"What is that?" she says and I immediately know what she's talking about, the bruise. I look up into her brown eyes and give her a look that hopefully shows all my emotions. The pain, sadness, worthlessness, guilt, desperateness, the need for her.

"I really need to talk to you. Please," I feel the weight on my shoulders pushing down more intensely as she watches me.

"Y/n, I told you that-"

"I know, Mom! But, I really need someone right now and I don't know who else to trust!" I wish I didn't feel so terrible. Why aren't I strong?

"Sit down," My mother says softly and points to the bench behind me. I slowly turn around and place myself down. When I sit I really think everything over. "Explain to me what he did."

So I did, I told her everything that he said and did, including his old promises to love me. My heart broke at what she said next.

"I can't help you, Y/n."

I closed my eyes, helpless. Alone, in pain, disregarded, that's just what I felt. My hands tremble as she grabbed them.

"I can let you stay here for a few days though, she said. Only a few days. You need to end this, I don't want to see you until you do. It hurts to see you like this. As your mother, I can't take it. Spend a few days here and pull yourself together, brave up, and then go," her words were harsh, but I understood. I was just a burden.

I looked at her sadly, "What do I say to him?"

"That's up to you, just tell him that you won't be pushed around. You are my strong little girl, you can do it," she says squeezing my hand.

"I'm not though, that's why this is happening."

"Let's go inside."

{ That shove in the right direction wasn't enough for me, he still pushed me around and I couldn't go back to my mom if I didn't get rid of him. I always blamed her for the reason that I had no support, but I guess I was kind of wrong. It was me, I was weak. She warned and tried to help me, but I didn't listen.

I look at the ground as Mark knocks on the door and smiles to himself. I need to tell him everything. She's not as mean as I thought and I did this to myself. I stuck with Deven's abusive side for a whole year because I was too weak to leave him. Too mentally weak. I can't let that happen again, it won't happen again.

I suddenly feel a small smile pull at my lips when I see my mom open the door. Her greyish black hair sits on her shoulders and I see a smile rise from her lips. My name leaves her lips and I drop my suitcase bar, walking up to her. I wrap her body in my embrace and feel relief, this is how it should be.

"I'm sorry, Y/n," My mom whispers in my ear. }

I hope that was long enough

( dirty pun not intended ;) )