Lockjaw (Joshler)

7. Power

Wait to start the song.
***Trigger warnings for a panic attack and mentions of a pedophile.***

When Josh woke up again, it was because a quiet conversation drew him out of his sleep. Hoppus was no longer beside him, arguing quietly with a man at the cell door. Even though Hoppus was just a few feet away, a terrible feeling of dread washed over Josh. He was going to be alone again. Hoppus was going to leave. He'd be all alone in an empty cell for the rest of the night, and there was nothing he could do about it.

The panic attack that hit Josh washed over him like a wave, making his lungs ache as he gasped for breath. The guards by the door were rushing to him immediately as he curled up into a ball and panted out sobs that shredded his throat and made him feel ill. He remained curled up, unable to hear the guards as they tried to calm him down. Even the warm hum of Hoppus's voice didn't soothe Josh. His words didn't make sense to Josh's ringing ears.

What did break through Josh's panic was when he was forced to roll over and face the officers. Hoppus's face swam into view.

"Breathe in. Breathe out," Hoppus instructed softly as if that was an easy thing to do. "Come on. Do it with me. Breathe in." Josh was trembling all over as he tried to copy Hoppus's breathing. "Good job. Now breathe out. Very good. Breathe in. Breathe out. One more time. In. Out."

Josh was still trembling, but he had more control over his lungs now. The other guard seemed surprised that Hoppus had helped Josh so quickly.

"Sorry," Josh whispered shakily.

Hoppus shook his head easily. "You don't have to be sorry. You do have to be calm though because that's the only way you'll be allowed to go see your mom. She's here."

"My mom?" Josh asked quietly, feeling both relieved and terrified at the prospect of facing his mother.

The guards both nodded. "I brought you some clothes to change into," the unfamiliar guard told Josh, handing him a familiar pair of orange pants and a matching shirt. "You'll have twenty minutes with her. Keep your hands on the table at all times. Don't touch her. You can earn that privilege back when you're behaving again."

Hoppus's expression was suddenly nearing anger. "Are you kidding me? He's not a danger to anyone else. He needs to-"

"You know the rules, Hoppus," the guard said simply, motioning for Josh to sit up. "Get dressed. Come on. Hurry your ass up. I don't have all day."

Josh didn't argue, standing up on shaky legs and changing out of the stupid paper gown they'd given him and into his regular clothes. He held his hands out for the guard to cuff him once he was finished, and he didn't complain when the cuffs were put on far too tight. His mom was here. He got to see his mom.

Maybe it was because of Josh's heightened anxiety and depression, but he couldn't ignore the ear-shattering shouts of the prisoners they passed on the way to the visitation room. They taunted him for his crime, his isolation, his appearance, etc. While he knew the safest way to get through here was to keep his eyes down, his eyes shot up when he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. His eyes met a familiar pair of cold blue eyes. They gleamed at Josh as the man they belonged to smirked, dragging his eyes down Josh's body and back up to meet his.

Josh could feel every single bruise and broken bone that man had given him when they were cellmates. He hadn't seen him since the last night they'd shared a cell as he was being carried away to the hospital unit on a gurney. One of those terrible blue eyes winked at Josh, making his blood run cold. He shuffled a bit closer to Hoppus, making the man with blue eyes smirk even wider.

Through the deafening noise of terrible things being shouted at Josh, only one voice scared him enough for his ears to clearly pick up every syllable of the words, "Poor baby. You poor little thing. Don't be scared, baby. I'll come take care of you real soon."