Lockjaw (Joshler)

38. Question

***Trigger warning for PTSD.***

Start the song. It's The Yawning Grave by Lord Huron.

After a long, unavoidable phone call from his mom the night before, Tyler decided to take a month off of work to get his mental health in check before he tried to help anyone else with theirs. He didn't particularly like the idea, especially when he knew his parents just wanted an excuse to fund his life so he'd owe them something later, but he also knew he couldn't keep treating Abbie if he was going to keep being friends with Josh. Besides, he really did need to work on his mental health right now.

Talking to Josh about Kennedy and Jenna had been much more helpful than talking to his siblings had been. Josh listened. Josh didn't get uncomfortable whenever Tyler got a little overwhelmed. He just tried to help. Tyler wanted to be that for Josh too. He wanted Josh to feel safe talking to him, like he had support in what he was dealing with. Besides, Josh was fun to be around. Tyler felt like he could be himself around him.

Maybe that was why Tyler already felt comfortable visiting the prison after only two visits. He knew that putting up with security and going into a potentially dangerous place also meant seeing Josh, and that felt worth it to him.

That was also why Tyler delighted in the split second of a smile that tugged at Josh's cheeks that morning when he was led into the visiting room and saw that Tyler had kept his promise. The smile disappeared as quickly as it had been created, but Tyler loved it anyway. Josh was happy, even if he was hesitant to show that right now.

"Don't look so surprised!" Tyler laughed out as a large man uncuffed Josh before letting him sit at the table across from Tyler. "I told you yesterday that I'd be here, so I am."

"Yeah, you did," Josh replied, looking tired but still offering Tyler a half smile. He looked relieved as well, and Tyler was glad. "We'll see how long that lasts."

It was pretty easy for Tyler to decide that Josh probably had some attachment issues. He'd figured that out the first time he'd met him, and it wasn't surprising. Thankfully, Tyler had dealt with that before, so he wasn't as easily scared off as most people. He knew that on some level, conscious or not, Josh was testing Tyler's boundaries to see how hard he could push before Tyler would leave him behind. He was trying to protect himself from getting too attached to Tyler as well, that way it wouldn't hurt if Tyler disappeared.

"I'm pretty stubborn, so you're probably just going to have to get used to me being around," Tyler told Josh confidently, smiling when Josh rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, sure," Josh replied.

Tyler noticed that the guard watched Josh more closely when he lifted his hand off of the table to rub his eye tiredly as he yawned. The guard relaxed when Josh set his hand back down on the table. Josh either didn't notice or didn't care about the guard's reaction.

"What time is it?" Josh asked curiously.

"A little after eight. Did I wake you up?" Tyler asked curiously.

Josh breathed out a chuckle and shook his head. "You have to be asleep to be woken up," he replied simply.

Tyler studied Josh quickly, taking in the bags under his eyes, his slouched shoulders, and his heavy eyelids. "How long has it been since you've slept?" He asked curiously.

"Are you asking me as a psychologist or as my friend?" Josh asked, shifting in his seat slightly.

"As your friend who is also a psychologist," Tyler replied, making Josh almost smile again. "Also as someone who's had insomnia for most of their life. I know sleep deprivation when I see it. You're drained, dude. How long has it been?"