Lockjaw (Joshler)

43. Palm

***Trigger warning for mentions of self-harm scars.***

Wait to start the song.

The time to decide if Tyler was going to go back to seeing clients in the same office or not was rapidly approaching. Unfortunately, there were a couple things holding him back from making his decision.

Number one was obviously that he would have to come clean to Abbie about why he'd left for a month and requested that she be added to Patrick's client list and removed from his own. He and Patrick both saw clients for the same counseling center, in the same building, during the same hours, in offices right next to each other. There was no escaping the reality that their paths would cross again eventually, and it wasn't fair to Abbie for Tyler to hand her over to another therapist without giving her an explanation.

Number two was that Tyler still wasn't sure if he was stable enough to be able to sit through difficult sessions without his own issues clouding his head. He was fortunate enough to know that he could take another month off and continue to rely on his parents and his savings if he chose to do so, but he still didn't like giving into that option. He had grown accustomed to standing on his own two feet, and he didn't know how long he could continue to sacrifice that freedom before his parents would take advantage of the situation either.

Time was running out, but Tyler decided to choose the unspoken third option, which was to remain in denial of the approaching deadline and to go visit Josh again instead. That option was immensely more appealing than the ones that preceded it. In fact, Tyler was so fond of this option that he chose it nearly every day. He visited Josh so frequently now that the guards were starting to recognize him, and Josh was no longer as reserved around him. He smiled more, he hugged Tyler with less hesitation, and he seemed more comfortable telling Tyler more personal details about his family, his childhood, his day to day life behind bars, etc.

Tyler had promised Josh a couple days ago that he'd come back today, and he intended to keep that promise. He'd missed a couple days the week before due to migraines, but he wasn't going to miss any days this week if he could help it. That was his goal, at least. He was going to come see Josh every single day this week, and he just had to hope his health would allow him that privilege.

If it were up to him, Tyler would've been at the prison first thing this morning to see Josh before anything could convince Josh that today wasn't going to be a good day. Tyler had noticed pretty early on that it didn't take a lot to shut Josh down, but his optimism rose dramatically if he started his day off with a positive visit from Tyler. Unfortunately, Tyler had been asked to babysit P until four today, so he wasn't going to be able to reassure Josh before the day really started that it could be a good day. The likelihood of Josh being in a good mood was significantly lessened with every additional hour he spent sitting alone in his cell. Hopefully. Tyler could cheer him up if that was the case today.

Start the song. It's Bag of Bones by Mitski.

It immediately became clear to Tyler when he walked into the visiting room that his prediction was spot on. Josh looked completely drained as he allowed the guard to take his cuffs off for him, and he didn't hesitate or say anything before he hugged Tyler tightly. Tyler hugged back immediately, resting his cheek atop Josh's head when the other man didn't let go right away like he usually did. Today must have been particularly bad.

"Hey, sorry it took so long for me to get here. I promise I came as quickly as I could," Tyler told Josh as softly as he could without making Josh uncomfortable.

"It's okay," Josh replied quietly, sounding just as exhausted as he looked. He cleared his throat before moving to release Tyler, looking incredibly embarrassed that he'd hugged him in the first place. "Sorry," he blurted out instinctually.