***Trigger warnings for mentions of the riot, survivor's guilt, and PTSD.***
Start the song. It's Smoke Signals by Phoebe Bridges.
Mornings weren't great for Josh. The pills they basically had to force down his throat every night left him groggy long after breakfast had come and gone, making it a little bit difficult to give his full attention to anything other than how much he wanted to sleep. After too many guards had dragged him to the infirmary under the assumption that he was either taking recreational drugs or incredibly ill, it was decided that his medication dosages be lowered and that he would be given one hour of outdoor time daily.
The doctor in the infirmary had been the one to request that Josh spend more time in the yard this time around. He'd even gone so far as to write what was essentially a prescription for sunlight that was immediately sent to the warden, who signed off on it less than an hour later.
Josh had never been more grateful for anything in his life. He couldn't believe how lucky he was that Tyler was patient enough to listen to him go on and on about stupid things like melting snow and birds whenever he came in. Tyler always smiled while Josh rambled on and on about being outside, even when Josh knew his excitement was making his words stumble and making it harder for him to get words out correctly on the first try. Tyler just held his hand and listened closely, asking Josh whether the grass was yellow or green beneath the melting snow or what kind of birds he'd seen that day. Nothing Josh said seemed to come across as useless or annoying to Tyler, and Josh craved that kind of validation.
A new daily ritual had formed between the two of them too. Tyler now brought Josh little pieces of nature he found outside whenever he visited, and Josh kept them all. They had to be small enough and harmless enough to pass through security, but they were Josh's absolute favourite possessions. There were flowers and leaves pressed between the pages of some of his books now, and he had a couple very small and very round rocks sitting on his bookshelf.
He hadn't been able to keep his favourite item Tyler had managed to bring in, which had been a snowball. Tyler had explained to Josh that he'd had to smash the snowball and allow security to search through it to make sure nothing was hidden inside before he was allowed to reshape it and bring it to Josh, that is, once he'd promised again and again that he would not throw the snowball at Josh. They'd just passed it back and forth until it had melted and their hands were freezing, at which point Tyler had immediately tried to rub warmth back into Josh's hands despite the cold plaguing his own. Josh loved having Tyler around.
Today, however, Josh was told he had visitors again long after Tyler had delivered the pinecone that was now sitting on the top shelf of his bookcase. Josh wished Tyler could be there to help him with the anxiety of potentially facing his mom, Ashley, and Andrew again, but that wasn't an option. He barely even knew the guard that was with him today either, so he had no backup at all. He was completely alone as he allowed himself to be led across the prison and in through the door to the visitation room.
As soon as Josh saw the people at the table in front of him, he froze. Tears filled his eyes, and he couldn't move an inch as the officer who'd led him in removed his cuffs. Josh still remained frozen though. There were too many thoughts and emotions running through his head at the moment for him to even attempt to process them. His mother and all three of his siblings were sitting in front of him for the first time in years, and he had no fucking clue what to do now that they were here.
He felt small and timid when Abbie carefully stood up, glancing at the confused guard in the corner of the room before walking over to Josh and taking his hand gently. His feet stumbled as she guided him carefully to the table before sitting down and helping him to sit down beside her. His leg was bouncing anxiously under the table, and he still couldn't stop searching each of their faces like there was going to be some kind of proof that these people weren't his family at all, but they were, and they were here.
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Lockjaw (Joshler)
Fanfic"This is how it often goes, sold into captivity so long ago. This is how it often goes. God knows I would know." -Mothers (Lockjaw) As awful as it sounded, Josh's favourite letters were the ones that came from people who, for some reason, thought he...
