Lockjaw (Joshler)

14. Anniversary II

***Trigger warning for mentions of abuse, domestic violence, abortion, and miscarriage.***

Start the song. It's Mary by Big Thief.

Having Frangipane around made the anniversary of the fire much less painful for Josh. She came into his cell like she had the day before, dropping a handful of mini Snickers on his face to wake him up before climbing into bed beside him and kissing his forehead. He only had her for a few hours in the morning, but during those hours, he didn't think about the fire or the people who'd died in it at all. All he could think about was the woman beside him, allowing him to completely violate her personal space whenever he needed to.

At the moment, they were playing Go Fish again. One of her boot-clad feet rested in Josh's lap although she was sitting on the chair beside his bed. He held his cards in one hand and her foot in the other, only releasing his grip on her steel-toed boot whenever he needed to hand her a card or draw one from the pile beside him. Frangipane didn't complain at all.

"Twos?" Frangipane asked calmly, smiling when Josh handed over a two of clubs. "Can I tell you a secret in exchange for this two?" She added as she accepted the card, sticking it into her deck and peering a bit timidly over her cards at Josh.

"Yeah, of course," Josh replied easily, fairly used to being the place secrets were buried and left to rot.

"You're allowed to say no, and you can tell me a secret of your own if you want to so this isn't a one-sided exchange," Frangipane insisted carefully, making the corners of Josh's lips twitch just slightly.

"It's cool. I don't mind listening," Josh reassured her. "I'm sure I'll tell you more shit later."

She nodded, looking a little bit less sure of herself now that the time had come for her to actually say her secret out loud. When she hesitated, Josh set his cards down, giving her his full attention. His hand left her boot to hold her ankle loosely, his thumb rubbing the bump of the bone there softly. Frangipane swallowed nervously.

"I'm doing something tomorrow that my husband would probably kill me over if he found out about it, but I don't really feel like I have another choice," she admitted in a fearful whisper.

Josh's hand didn't leave her ankle. He nodded slightly, studying her face carefully. "If you feel like you're making the right choice, he shouldn't stand in your way."

Frangipane let out a sigh, setting her cards down on the mattress and wiping a hand down her face in frustration before looking helplessly at Josh. "If he was supportive of me in any way, I wouldn't even have to be doing this," she insisted, clearly incredibly distressed about this. Tears were forming in her eyes as she whispered, "Josh, I want to be a mom someday, but not with him. I can't have a baby with him. How the hell could I keep a baby alive with him around?"

Josh thought of his little sister visiting to tell him about her miscarriage. From what he'd heard, it sounded like Andrew wouldn't be a bad father or anything, yet Ashley had lost her baby. Now Frangipane was having to actively end her pregnancy because of what a piece of shit her husband was. It didn't seem fair for either of them to be in situations like this.

"It's your choice," Josh reminded her. "If you don't think this is the best time for you to have a baby or the right environment for a baby to be in, you get to make that call. It's not up to him, especially if he can't even treat his wife right. He doesn't deserve to have a baby with you."

Frangipane sniffled, nodding slightly. She groaned suddenly in frustration. "God, I wish I could just get away from him instead of having to do this, but even if I left him, he'd find me. Plus, I wouldn't have money or anything if I left him. My pay check wouldn't be enough to raise a baby on, and I wouldn't be able to work full-time here and support a baby by myself at the same time."