Lockjaw (Joshler)

27. Marriage

***Trigger warnings for mentions of self harm scars, mentions of domestic violence, and sexual themes.***

Start the song. It's listen before i go by Billie Eilish.

An unfamiliar guard sat outside of Josh's cell while he slept that night. Occasionally, Josh was awakened by the ruffling of magazine pages as the guard read from a large stack of tabloids sitting beside his chair. Mostly, he just drifted in and out of fuzzy dreams about having someone in the cell with him, lying beside him and keeping him company. Nevertheless, every time he opened his eyes, the space beside him in his bed was empty. He was still alone.

Josh's eyes burned with lack of sleep as he stared at the ceiling, feeling pathetic for repeatedly creating some sort of dream person who brought him comfort. He sighed, pushing his hair back off of his forehead. It was growing too fast, making it hard to maintain. He would have to ask Hoppus to take him for a haircut soon. Maybe he'd just let it keep growing out though. It didn't really matter that much.

Josh wished he was back in his own cell. He wished he wasn't being watched at all times by a guard who was always within ten feet of him. He also wished he could have access to the books and letters in his solitary cell that he could potentially read until he fell asleep. Despite knowing his mother would kill him for even thinking this, he also wished the guard outside of his cell would leave for a little while so he could jerk off and trick his brain into thinking his hand belonged to the person from his dream-someone who loved him. He wished he could do anything that would help him fall asleep. None of that was an option though, so he remained restless.

After a while, Josh heard a quiet conversation outside of his cell, but he kept looking at the ceiling. His eyelids were getting heavier again, but he knew he wouldn't be able to find rest behind them. They remained locked on the ceiling until he heard his cell door buzz and open.

Relief washed over Josh for two reasons. One, Frangipane was here, smiling and climbing into his bed beside him once the other officer disappeared down the hall. Two, her hair was no longer blue. It had been dyed black and fashioned into dozens of thin braids that were pulled back into a ponytail. She looked beautiful, as always, but she was far less blue.

"Hey, sleepyhead. What are you doing up?" She asked quietly, already shifting him so his head rested on her chest.

His heavy eyelids immediately slipped shut when her gentle hands started to carefully massage his back. A tiny sigh of relief left his lips as he took in the feeling of actually having someone here to hold him while he slept.

"Couldn't sleep," Josh mumbled tiredly. "Weird dreams."

"Good weird or bad weird?" She asked gently, one of her hands coming up to soothe her fingers through his hair.

It was like every single iota of tension in his body was disintegrating as he sunk into Frangipane. "Lonely weird," he replied.

A lingering kiss was pressed to his forehead before Frangipane told him, "No need to be lonely now. I'm here. I'll take care of you."

Josh nodded against her chest, tilting his head up to press a gentle kiss to her neck before telling her, "Your hair looks pretty."

She blushed. "You think so? I finally went and talked to my mom. I didn't tell her about the abortion, but I told her Gerald had been abusive and that I was staying with a friend's family. She said I should change my hair so it'd be harder for him to find me, so she dyed it and braided it. I don't think I've had a natural hair colour since high school. It feels weird."

"It's not my fault you dyed it?" Josh asked hopefully.

"No!" Ashley insisted easily. "No, honey. I mean, I did want to change my hair after Hoppus explained the colour thing to us, but my mom was definitely the driving force behind this."