***Trigger warnings for suicidal thoughts, PTSD, and thoughts of self harm.***
Start the song. It's I Shall Cross This River by The Black Atlantic.
Josh sat numbly on his bed as Hoppus and a couple members of the cleaning crew searched his cell for sharp objects. There was still some debris from the riot laying around, but the janitors were throwing it all into a large plastic garbage bin. Josh kept feeling tempted to pocket the shards of glass that were uncovered in the rubble before anyone else caught sight of them, but he forced himself not to.
Instead, he asked Hoppus, "Can I go make a phone call so I don't have to be in here while you do this?"
Hoppus looked up from where he'd been unconsciously micromanaging the janitors in order to make absolutely sure that there was nothing that could conceivably hurt his son left behind. "Yeah. Yeah. That's a good idea. Absolutely. I'll take you."
Josh nodded, pocketing a slip of paper from off his desk before allowing himself to be cuffed and led out of his cell. He was silent as he was led to the area designated for making phone calls, which obviously hadn't been given cleaning priority after the riot. The janitors were still making their way through the cells inmates actually had to live in. Anything else came second.
"Do you want me to stay here or wait in the hall?" Hoppus asked as he handed Josh a phone.
"The hall maybe," Josh replied quietly, feeling a little unsure of whether he'd even have the confidence for this if his dad wasn't around.
Hoppus nodded. "Holler if you need me, okay? I'll be right out there."
Josh nodded, watching a bit anxiously as his dad left the room. He took a deep breath before dialling the number. He felt like he was going to collapse in on himself as he listened to the phone ring. Over and over again he had to remind himself that he'd survive if no one answered. He'd be okay. He could handle it. Everything would be okay. It wasn't the end of the world if-
"Josh! Hey. I've been thinking about you. Are you feeling better today?" Tyler asked warmly, making Josh's nervous system reset instantly.
"I'm...uh...I'm handling it," Josh replied uncertainly. "Sorry for being a psycho the last time you were here."
"Oh, dude, no. You were exhausted, and you've had a really heavy week. I'm not judging at all. I can't even imagine what you're having to process right now. You're totally allowed to feel the way you're feeling. Besides, it's not easy to scare me off," Tyler replied with complete sincerity as if it was the most obvious thing in the world to him. "Did you get some sleep?"
Josh swallowed down the lump in his throat that seemed to swell whenever he thought about how much of a relief it was to feel so easily accepted and understood by someone. "I slept for over twenty hours, actually. Technically they sedated me after four when I started to wake up though, so that's probably why."
"Dang. I'm sorry, Josh. Are you super groggy today?" Tyler asked easily. There was a shuffling sound on the other line, followed by a small voice that sounded far off.
"Yeah a little," Josh replied quietly. Guilt swelled inside of him, forcing him to quickly add, "If you're busy right now, I can totally let you go or whatever."
Tyler laughed. "I'm babysitting my niece for a couple hours, but she's just watching Peppa Pig for a minute before I put her down for a nap. My sister and her husband both are meeting with clients, so I've got Mia for a little while. She's almost two, so she's kind of a handful, but I can definitely handle talking on the phone and watching her at the same time. No worries."
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Lockjaw (Joshler)
Fanfiction"This is how it often goes, sold into captivity so long ago. This is how it often goes. God knows I would know." -Mothers (Lockjaw) As awful as it sounded, Josh's favourite letters were the ones that came from people who, for some reason, thought he...
