Lockjaw (Joshler)

31. Hero

***Trigger warnings for PTSD, one incident of vomiting without description of the vomit, and mentions of violence.***

Start the song. It's Burning House by Cam.

Josh didn't know if it was his concussion that was making him throw up so much or the slowly resurfacing memory of a pipe slamming down again and again against a skull that had shattered after the very first blow. His cell had been tidied just enough for it to be safe for him to sleep in, but he knew that wasn't the case for everyone.

According to Hoppus, many of the prisoners had been sent to other facilities until this one could be cleaned up enough for it to be safe again. Gen pop suffered the most damage, just as Jude had predicted. Construction was required on certain parts of the building where walls and ceilings had been damaged. Six bodies had been taken to the morgue, placed on ice until family members could come in to identify the bodies. Blood was being washed away from the walls and floors even as Josh trembled in his bed, too afraid to go to sleep.

Hoppus was rubbing his back, alternating between telling Josh comforting stories and singing to him in a futile attempt to help him sleep. Everything was futile with Josh at the moment. Hoppus hadn't been able to convince Josh to shower, even if his last bath had pretty much been a sponge bath using Axe body wash and toilet water. Hoppus hadn't been able to convince Josh to eat dinner. Hoppus hadn't been able to convince Josh to let the doctor treat anything beyond his concussion and dislocated shoulder, even if they were pretty sure Josh had some broken ribs and a sprained wrist. Hoppus hadn't been able to convince Josh to do anything but put on clean clothes and climb into bed.

"I love you so much more than you will ever understand, and I promise you that nothing will ever change that," his dad told him quietly as he brushed Josh's hair back off of his forehead gently. "No matter what, I will always have your back, and I will always be so proud to be your dad."

Josh's birth parents hadn't made any attempt to call or make sure he was okay, even after the prison had lifted the ban on communication with the outside world around dinner time. Somehow, that made the shame in Josh's chest multiply immeasurably. It was like his mom already knew. It was like she could sense how weak and disgusting he was, even from all the way across the city.

"I'm not going anywhere," Hoppus promised gently, his eyes soft as they watched Josh's. "I will be here to love you and be your dad every single day for the rest of my life, and that makes me so happy."

Josh sniffled, completely drained of tears but still feeling like he was about to cry. "I wanna go home," he whimpered out.

"I know, buddy. Believe me. I know. I'd have you at home in your bed where you'd never have to be afraid again right this second if that was an option. I'm so sorry I can't do that for you," Hoppus replied solemnly, still soothing his fingers through Josh's hair. "Soon, you'll be home with me and your mom and your brother, and we'll never let anything hurt you again."

Josh rubbed too harshly at his face, wanting to tear his skin away but not wanting to scare his dad. "Sorry I lied to you," he whispered shamefully.

Hoppus sighed. "About Frangipane?"

Josh nodded weakly, not looking his father in the eye. "We're still just friends, and I kissed her first, and she never kissed me without asking me first if it was okay, but I shouldn't have lied to you. I'm sorry. I just knew that if I told you, you wouldn't let her come see me anymore, and I need her. She's my best friend, my only friend, and I can talk to her about anything. I need her."

"I'm not going to take her away from you, okay? And I don't want you to worry about any of this right now. You can still be her friend. That's fine with me. You just can't do anything illegal with her because I don't want anything to stand in the way of you coming home with me in June," Hoppus told him in a soothing tone.