***Trigger warnings for a pedophile, mentions of abuse, violence, and threats of violence.***
Start the song. It's Sleeping Season by Flower Face.
Josh wasn't sleeping, just staring at the cinderblock wall in front of him and listening silently as his dad explained to him gently that he had to go home in twenty minutes. Any and all relief Josh had felt in his new mom's presence this morning dissipated at the knowledge that he would be alone again soon. He wasn't trying to make his dad feel guilty for needing to leave, but he couldn't look at him. He couldn't look at Hoppus when he knew that he'd cry again if he had to say goodbye. He needed his dad here. He needed to know he wasn't alone.
"Your mom and brother are coming to visit you tomorrow morning, and I'll come with them if I don't get called in to work, okay? I'll come see you as your dad instead of a guard. I'll wear real people clothes instead of this uniform, and I'll let your mom tell you all kinds of embarrassing stories about me, okay?" Hoppus tried to convince him gently.
Josh squeezed his eyes shut when tears burned at them. "I wish I could just go home with you," he admitted in a voice so timorous that it was barely even a whisper.
His dad sighed. "I wish you could too, buddy. We all wish that. You should be at home with your family-with us. You shouldn't be here anymore. You've more than proved that you deserve to go home and get a fresh start, and I'm so proud of you for that."
Josh's muscles tensed for a fraction of a second when Hoppus placed a hand on his back, but they relaxed before the comforting weight could leave his back. Hoppus rubbed his back soothingly. He didn't take Josh's momentary panic as an insult at all. He just kept showering Josh in love and acceptance, making it easier for him to forgive himself for the tension in his muscles.
"Dad?" He whispered quietly.
"I'm here," Hoppus replied comfortingly. "Do you need something?"
"I need you to promise me something," Josh told him without opening his eyes.
"And what's that?" Hoppus asked patiently, his hand leaving Josh's back to softly soothe across the short hair growing from Josh's scalp.
"I need you to promise you'll tell me whenever I do something that makes you proud of me and that you'll love me even when I make mistakes," Josh requested, hope evident in his tone.
He nearly shivered when Hoppus's hand moved to his upper back before Hoppus sat forward and pressed a featherlight kiss to his hair. "Of course I promise that. I'm your dad. That's what dads are supposed to do. We're supposed to love, forgive, and protect our kids. You don't have to ask me to do those things for you. I love you too much not to do them."
Finally, Josh rolled over and looked at his dad, watching his face fall when he realized Josh was trying not to cry. Josh reached a hand out and tangled his fingers with his dad's, letting out a quiet breath.
"I love you too," Josh replied timidly. "I love my new mom too. I wish she was here. She made me forget about everything that was bothering me. I felt safe with her here. My other mom never makes me feel like that. She always makes me feel worse about myself."
"You want to know a secret?" Hoppus asked conspiratorially, smiling warmly at Josh, who couldn't help but smile back as he nodded. "You don't have to love your parents if they don't deserve it. You don't have to love anyone who doesn't treat you like you deserve to be loved too. Just because she's your mom by birth doesn't mean she deserves to have a kid as awesome as you. Sometimes, when we grow up, we get to pick new families to replace the ones that don't give us the love and support we need."
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Lockjaw (Joshler)
Fanfiction"This is how it often goes, sold into captivity so long ago. This is how it often goes. God knows I would know." -Mothers (Lockjaw) As awful as it sounded, Josh's favourite letters were the ones that came from people who, for some reason, thought he...
