// ELSE WHERE //
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Update: Dad had an overdose. What have I done..
I hugged Noah and didn't let go for about ten minutes. I sobbed quietly. "What have I done." I finally dry my tears and release from his body. We both sat on the bed, facing each other. "This isn't your fault Millie." Noah put two hands on my shoulders and looked into my eyes. "Noah," I began, my hands were shaking. "What if, everything I've been through and.. what I've done. What if I'm becoming bad and this is my fault." I cried. "Millie Bobby Brown you listen to me very fucking carefully," he stared into my eyes. "You're not, a bad person. You're a very good person, just bad things have happened to you." He began. He seemed very sure of himself. "Right?" He asked me. "Right." I made a fake smile. "I want you to be, the very best version of yourself that you can be." He ran his hand through his hair. "I made a promise to your mom Mills, that I would protect you." He struggled to open the soda can lid. I helped the boy as my hands shook. "Thank you Noah." I smiled, hugging him once again.
"Now, we need to get out of this hell hole." I took a deep breath. "You wanna go back to Charlottesville?" Noah said in confused shock. "What? No! Not here, I mean the hotel." I corrected him. "What about your dad?" Noah asked curiously. I stopped for a moment, not knowing what to say. "Fuck him. I don't care if he dies in a fucking hole. He was a horrible father. He beat Mom and I. I'll never except that." I said proudly. Noah just smiled at me. "I'm proud of you mills." He said, taking off his shirt. "Why? Because I haven't died yet?" I say sarcastically. "No, just you being you." He said, searching his bag for a clean shirt.
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I never told Noah about what happened with Finn and I that night in the bathroom. Honestly, if he did find out he'd probably faint.
December was finally over, and the new year feels like it took forever to get here. We'll be graduating next year. I can't fucking believe it. I'm not sure what the future looks like, but I hope it's a bright one.
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January 4th, 2003
Update: it's cold here in New Jersey, I don't mind it though. Sadie was kind enough to let us stay in her guest bedroom in her house.
"Do I look like I'm from New Jersey?" I asked Noah as I looked over myself in the full length mirror. "You aren't from New Jersey." He raised an eyebrow suspiciously. "Mail's here." Sadie called from the front door, picking all the letters up off the carpet. "Bullshit," she tossed one on the ground. "Bullshit," she through another on the floor. "Shit, shit, shit." She tossed about four letters on the floor until she found the bottom one. "Not shit!" She smiled, passing it to me. "I never get mail." I say in confusion. We all sat in Sadie's living room on the couch as she opened the fridge for some soda. "Holy shit.." I say in surprise. "What?" Noah and Sadie say at the same time. "It's from the art school." She opened it quickly. Sadie say beside me.
Miss Millie Brown,
I read the letter aloud. Most of it was shit that I didn't understand, like grades and rules and other stuff. I got to the last part.
...we are sorry to inform you that you were not accepted..
I read out loud. "Oh Mills I'm so sorry," Sadie hugged me from the side as I stared down at the letter. "Fuck it," I sighed. "I'm only in fourth year anyways, I guess I got time." I put my hair up in a pony tail. Noah struggled to light his cigarette as always. Sadie helped him, making me laugh.
"Oh Mills, Gaten invited me to this book signing thing. You know I love books, and-" I cut him off. "Go." I smiled. "Who the fuck's stopping you?" I laugh, opening my soda can.
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Sadie and I went to a bar downtown. I've never been to a proper bar. It felt weird, but I liked it.
A band was playing live again. I wondered if it was Finn.
Sadie took my hand and led me to the small stage to watch them play. I set eyes on the boy who sang. It was none other than Finn Wolfhard himself.
"Fuck." I chuckled to myself. I hoped Sadie didn't hear.
We all sang and clapped along to the slow beat of the music until the band finally finished playing. "C'mon lets get a drink!" Sadie pulled me out of my thoughts as she grabbed my wrist, pulling me back to the bar.
By around mid night, Sadie and I were so waisted we could barely stand up. "No more mid-terms!" She shouted. "We're gonna get twisted!" I shouted back at her. We both laughed at each other. "Hello ladies." A familiar voice spoke from behind us as we danced. It was Finn. "Heyy!" I slurred my words. "You look hot." He flirted with me. I couldn't stand up, I was basically using Sadie as support. "Got a minute, baby?" The boy whispered in my ear, making me tense up. Did he just call me baby? I thought.
I nod sloppily as Finn took my hand and pulled me out of the bar. Sadie winked at me. I think she got the message.
Before I knew it, I was being pulled into a small room, or was it a closet? I wasn't sure. I felt around for a light switch.
Flick.
The lights turned on, making me squint slightly as I came face to face with Finn. "What the hell are we doing?" I managed to say. "I needed somewhere quiet." He said. "Why?" I asked. "So no one could hear us." He whispered in my ear. He then flicked the lights off, making the closet dim, but not fully pitch black. "Shut up!" I punched his arm. I could still see his face a little. I hiccuped, making the taller boy laugh in a way I found very fucking attractive. I couldn't think properly, and my legs felt like they were noodles. "I think you're really pretty Mills," he began. "I like you. A lot." He added on. "You're not like other girls." He smiled. I couldn't help but notice his tongue piercing, which I also found sexy.
Shit.
I cussed in my head.
He then kissed me sweetly.
Like how mom used to give me bedtime kisses.
I raised my eyebrows in shock at what he had just done. I smiled back and kissed the boy once more, making him smile. I've never kissed a boy before except for Noah in the second grade. He then held my hand nicely, making me feel happy. Do I have a boyfriend? I wondered. "Millie!" Sadie swung open the door, widening her eyes at the sight of us. "Oh, uh, sorry." She looked down awkwardly. "I didn't see anything." She covered her eyes. "It's okay red." Finn laughed. "Mills, we gotta go." Sadie took my hand. I took one last look at Finn as he winked at me slyly.
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