// ELSE WHERE // Nov 6th, 2002 Charlottesville, Virginia _
Update: today I got my period again. Fuck the menstrual cycle.
"Fuck!"
Noah yelled from the other room.
"What?" I asked in curiosity. "There was a bee." The brunette said with a look of embarrassment. All I did was laugh my ass off as I looked up at him. "Fuck off mills!" He cussed. "You know I hate bees," He fluffed his hair as he looked in the bathroom mirror. "those flying bitches can kiss my ass." He brushed his teeth violently, as I rolled around on the floor, my ribs hurting from laughing. He then got out his camera, and took pictures of me, still laughing. "What the hell?" I blocked my face. "Noah!" I laughed. The camera clicked.
NOV. 2002
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I think Noah is gay.
I am just to scared to ask him.
I mean, yeah I'm his best friend and stuff, but I just don't have the guts to do it. It was pride month, so I thought I better make my move soon.
"Mills," the short boy asked softly, reminding me of a five year old with a lisp, picking up Lego blocks. "Yeah?" I reply back, struggling to put my bra on. "Do you think I'm weird. I mean, I'm not like you," he began. "or Eliot!" He peered over at the old retriever that lay on my bed sheets. Eliot was my dog. I've had him for almost six years, but he was the dumbest dog on the face of the earth. When he was a puppy, he tried to fight a crow, which didn't end well.. When he was two, he ate a hornets nest, I'm not even gonna explain what happened after that. "Noah, Eliot's a fucking dog." I grinned. "I know but, still," he stuttered. I noticed him tugging at one of his jean's loose threads anxiously. I notice things. I try not to, but I can't help it. I stared at him, I don't think he noticed though. "Uh, well," I stuttered. "You do, don't you." He admitted flatly. "What? No, no, it's just, what's wrong with being weird?" I shrugged, finally fixing my bra strap. The boy watched me as I sat in front of him. "Look at me, I'm a weird ass chicken, who is terrified of myself." I told the honest truth, as I looked into his eyes. "But that's different." Noah argued, standing up.
"Why." I said confidently.
"Because." He said.
"Because why?" I argued.
"Because Mills, you have a disorder. I don't. I'm just boring old Noah who can't even light a fucking cigarette." I felt bad for Noah. He tries so hard. "Hey, if we're both weird, then, we can be weird together right?" I lay down beside him on my bed, us both staring up at the ceiling. "Right." He agreed, smiling as he held my hand.
Noah was basically my boyfriend. But, not really. He was like my over protected gay mother, and I was his body guard. But in the end, I guess we are like siblings. We fight all the time. I've known him forever. Since kindergarten. When I first met him, he came up to me in the sand box outside. I was playing by myself, but my toy truck broke or some shit. I remember crying about it, wiping my tears away with my small hands. Noah came up to me, and offered me his toy truck. I remember he smiled at me, and we've been friends ever since. God life was so much better back then. Before our parents told us to "wake the fuck up and make money", we would play tag, or hopscotch. Noah's parents are divorced, and are always fighting every time I come over. I found its best to just ignore them. I practically live with Noah, since my Dad is never home.
"Noah." I then blurt out. An idea came to me, during my train of consistent thought. The boy hummed in response. "We should run away." I sat up, leaning over the brunette slightly in excitement. "What the fuck," he chuckled, as his arms crossed behind his head, supporting it. "I'm serious!" I punched him playfully. "we could go to the east coast, and start a small hotdog business!" I teased. "Yeah, no thanks." He said sitting up, making me frown. "I'm kidding." I giggle. "Millie, we can't just run away! What about school, or our parents," he went on and on, pacing around the room. "Where are we gonna live!? How will we survive on nothing?!" He was terrified at his own thoughts. "Shut up Noah. We can stay in a hotel or something. I can get a job! You can-" I was cut off. "I dunno Mills," he hesitated. "I'm worried." He sat down on the carpeted floor in front of me, as I sat on the bed, staring down at him.
"Why?" I ask softly.
"Why what?" He asked back.
"Why are you scared?" I frowned.
The boy took a big sigh, "I'm not worried for me, I'm worried for you." He placed his hand on my knee. "I'll be fine Noah." I chuckled, hoping that I would be fine. "I haven't had an episode in forever, and the doctor," I began. "Fuck the doctor." Noah stated. "Oh." I say in amusement. "This isn't funny Millie, I'm being serious." He looked at me with worry in both eyes. I stopped giggling. "I don't give a shit if you haven't had an episode in forever, but it could come back any second." He admitted.
I know what you're thinking;
Episode? Like a TV episode?
Nah.
My doctor called it an "episode", referring to my seizures.
Seizure.
God I hated that word. I haven't had a seizure in over a year. Sometimes, when I'm sleeping, I dream that they stopped, and that I was normal, again. But I'm not. I'm not normal.
I smiled faintly at the brown eyed boy, and pulled him in for a hug. "I love you," He smiles. "I love you too." I grin.
