// ELSE WHERE //
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I got my Ex Rays back from the hospital. I was scared to look. We waited outside of the walk - in clinic office. Noah held my hand like the usual. A nice old woman walked by, complimenting us. "Aw, you two are too cute." She smiled. "Oh uh, thank you." Noah chuckled, making me grin. We sort of excepted the fact that people think we were a real couple.
"Millie Brown." The nurse called. I stood up, stopping in my tracks for a moment, not sure if I was truly doing the right thing. Noah put his hand on my back, leading me into the room. I took a deep breath.
As we walked into the office room, there were beds lined up, and nurses changing the sheets on one, and two men with covers over their mouths for protection from the patient.
Everything seemed to be going in slow motion then and there. I felt as if everything slowed down, even my walking pace. A nurse led me to the desk, shutting the door behind her. We were now in an even smaller room. Noah sat beside me in his chair. I could hear my heart beating, I was so nervous. The lady mostly asked straight forward questions, like 'are you sexually active, are you taking meds, do you drink, do have have any stomach pains', stuff like that.
"Now," The nurse turned on the big computer. "This may be hard for you to see.." she warned. "I'm ready." I squeezed Noah's hand. The nurse pulled up a picture of my ex rays. "There does seem to be a fetus, only at the early stages. It's to early to tell the gender, but miss Brown I can tell you that you are in fact pregnant," she said softly. There was ringing in my ears, and my face felt numb and cold. What was happening? I didn't know how to feel. Noah struggled to clear his throat before speaking shakily. "H-How far along is she..?" He asked. "I can't be to sure, but I'd estimate she's about twelve weeks on, maybe less." She nodded. I lowered my head. "I'll leave you two." The nurse got up, shutting the door behind her quietly. Noah and I sat in complete silence for a long time.
"..is it Finn's?" Noah spoke up. "I know it is." I admitted. I started to cry into Noah's chest as he hugged me. I couldn't believe it. I just couldn't believe a word of it all, it was just to much. I had to tell Finn. But how? Finn would blow the roof off and I don't even know what he would do.
Noah helped me out to the car.
I wrapped my right arm over the back of Gaten's neck, and my left behind Noah's back. I lay in the back seat, still crying. I soon fell asleep as the country music played on the car radio.
"Settle down, it'll all be clear," the song played smoothly through the car. "you can do this on your own," I hummed along, soon closing my eyes.
_
I painted today.
I painted my feelings, and how my friends were feeling. I got some grey paint on my jeans, "shit." I mumbled. Noah entered our room. "What are you doing?" He asked "what does it look like?" I bit my nail.
"How are you feeling?" He asked, holding the cup of tea in both hands. "I dunno," I shrugged. "you know, the same." I scratched my ankle, lifting my left leg up. "Any stomach pains?" He asked, adjusting his glasses. "Ugh, tell me about it." I rolled my eyes. I put my leg down, and continued to paint.
"Hey listen.." he sat down on the bed. I turned around again. "We need to talk," he said. "Why?" I sat with him. "What are you going to do about the baby Millie.." Noah asked carefully. I clenched my teeth together and swallows nervously. "I don't know." I stood up, looking out the window. "I haven't told Finn," I shut my eyes, pinching myself like usual. "It's gonna have to come out Millie." Noah said. "I know!" I snapped at him. "Sorry.." I turned around. Noah took a small sip of his tea, looking down. "I can't," I took a breath. "I can't, cope." "I know." He agreed. We sat in silence after, as I resumed to paint. "What are you painting?" Noah asked, making me shorten my breath. "I don't now." I say quietly. "Look I'm sorry if I'm being a bitch. It's just.. hard to keep up with everything that's happened." I say. "It's okay." He said.
_
I really didn't want to see Finn. But I knew I had to face my fears and tell him the truth. Gaten gave me a lift, while I was smoking a cigarette in the back seat. "You really shouldn't do that Mills," Gaten said. "What?" "Smoke." He admitted. "So everyone keeps saying." I rolled my eyes, sitting up as we parked. "Thanks for the ride," I stumbled out of the car and onto the front lawn. Gaten drove up on the curb, skidding a little, and driving away as I waved to him. I loved Gaten. I feel that he is so underrated in a way, that people don't really know how grateful, and kind he is. Especially to me and Noah.
I climbed up the side of Finn's house, pulling myself up like always. You know the drill.
I knocked on his window, to see him shirtless, and playing on his guitar like usual. He smirked at me and pulled it above his head. "Hey." I looked at my lips as I smiled at him. I sat on his bed beside him, as he finished reading his book. "What's up baby?" He asked. Whenever he called me that I got a butterfly feeling in my stomach.
Note to self: I don't know why someone would come up with the saying "I got butterflies in my stomach", because it's gross.
Finn lay on his back, putting one hand behind his head to support it, while his elbow sticking out as well. "I need to tell you something Finn." I say nervously. "Kay." He licked his lips. "Here it goes," I mumble to myself. "I'm.." I struggled. My breath quickened as Finn sat up. "What..?" He raised an eyebrow. "Finn," I swallowed hard, looking down.
"I'm pregnant.." I whispered.
Finn's eyes bulged out of their sockets as my words. "W-What?" His deep voice questioned. He stopped smoking, putting his cigarette out the window. He shuffled the sheets as he scooted up next to me in bed. He looked down at the ground, running his hands between his curls. "Is.. is it mine?" He asked ever so softly. I didn't answer. I assumed he new it was his, he just didn't want to admit it. We sat beside each other, not moving or speaking. We just blinked and breathed, like normal human beings. "I'm sorry," I lowered my head, my hair tucked behind my ear. "Jesus." Finn whispered to himself, putting his face in his hands. "I'm sorry." He said surprisingly calmly. "No, it's not your fault," I say. "Yeah it is." He argued back, making me feel uncomfortable.
I then started to cry.
I didn't know why exactly, I just did.
I made out small sobs like a kitten, as Finn looked up at me. I put my shaky hands over my face. "Baby," Finn pulled me towards his warm body. I stuck to him like a magnet. "I'm so scared," I cried. Finn rubbed my lower torso with his thumb as he comforted me. Finn kissed my neck, trying to make me feel better. I felt soft and high, almost, when he kissed me there. I started to stop crying, my eyes still burning from the tears. "Everything is gonna be okay," he said. "I promise." He kissed my head. I kissed his lips passionately, as he played with my underwear.
Now I know what you're thinking;
'Oh Finn is just saying those kind words so he can get in her pants'. But I knew Finn well, and that's just how he is. And I love him for it.
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