Before Everything

Chapter 38

Max's Pov

I always feel like I'm in my brother's shadow. Everyone knows the famous Mike Blevins but most people don't even know that he has a little brother. I know that it's typical for younger siblings to feel like that but it's a whole new level with me. There is just absolutely nothing I'm good at. Even my parents think so.

"Mike! Max! It's time to go to school!" Right and then a whole another thing that I hate, school. I don't think that anyone my age really likes school but at least they have friends in school to keep them company. Me on the other hand... well I don't really have any friends. I guess I'm what you would call an outcast. I don't really fit in any groups. I don't like sports, I'm not good at school and I definitely am not one of the popular kids.

You may be thinking how does 15 years old not have any friends and the simple answer is that I don't really know how to make friends. Not that anyone would like to be my friend anyway. But hey, my life is not all bad. I love music and that's what I do for the most part of my day. Even though I feel like I'm in Mike's shadow all the time, he is still an amazing brother and I love him. It's not his fault that he is just so much more talented than me.

I guess you could also say that I'm a troubled kid. I do party, a lot. I drink, I smoke and I don't care about school. I'm actually the literal opposite of Mike. But even with that, we get along pretty well. He always covers for me when I'm coming home drunk or when I just want some time alone. It's not that he likes what I do but he knows that I'm a teenager and some of us have to go through stuff like that. He still always makes sure I'm safe.

So it's time for school. Unlike Mike, I have no idea what I'm going to do after high school. And yeah, I'm a little younger but still. Most people at my age have at least a general idea of what they like or want to do when they grow up.

"Max! We really need to go right now if you don't want to take the bus!"
"I'm coming, mom!" Not like I would care anyway, I'd just go to the mall, I said to myself.

I usually don't pay much attention in class but I don't really have to. Even the teachers don't notice me. I can just be on my phone for most of the class and just listen to music. Some teachers did try at the start of high school but they don't bother anymore. I just have to pass my exams and then they are happy.

On most days I eat my lunch either in the library or in the parking lot. I really don't mind being alone that much but it would be nice to have a few friends. That's one of the reasons why I party so much. Everyone is your friend when you are so drunk that you can't remember anything the next day. Even I, a complete outcast, become a little bit of an extrovert at a party. The other reason I party is just to have something to do. It gets boring just sitting in your room listening to music all alone. I could hang out with Mike but he's always at practice or with his friends. Also sometimes I just want to forget. I'm someone else when I party and it keeps me sane to just forget who I am for a while.

I guess I'm lucky since even though I really am a nobody I still don't get bullied. I know many kids in my school who would love to trade places with me. And I don't blame them. Being invisible really does have its perks.

Even though I never ever show it nor talk about it I am kind of mad at my parents. And no, not for the reasons you might think. I'm not mad at them for not letting me party or for being too strict. I'm not even mad at them for always thinking of Mike first and clearly showing me that he is the favorite son. I'm mad at them for not even realizing that I party. They have absolutely no idea of what I do or don't do with my life. They don't know I have no friends, they don't know I party and they don't even know I smoke. I'm mad at them for not asking me how I'm doing or what I want to do when I grow up. It's always what Mike wants and what Mike does. My parents know nothing about me. I'm mad that they don't even care!

Of course, I don't just have a brother. I also have an amazing little sister. She is already way more talented than me even though she is almost ten years younger than me. But like my brother I still love her to bits.

Since I am kind of invisible I have become really good at reading people. When I first saw how my brother looked at that Maddie girl I already knew that he would fall for her. And from what I know they really are good together. If a person is bad or even if something bad is going to happen I can usually tell. It's a weird gift of mine. And what I get from my parents is that they really don't even realize what they are doing. They are just too busy with their lives.

I have a weird feeling in my gut about the next few weeks but I can't pinpoint exactly what it is.

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Authors' note

The question of the day:
- Are you a party person or not?

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