Ae dil hai mushkil ?

37

"To loose someone you love is to alter your life forever...The pain stops. there are new people, but the gap never closes...This hole in your heart is the shape of the one you lost - no one else can fill it."

Neil carried an unconscious Avni in his arms as he hurried towards the hospital doors, behind him was his family along with hers. His speed picked up as he practically ran with her in his arms, his heartbeats escalating, the tiredness and concern merging on his face. He desperately called for a doctor as a stretch was brought for her, his hand was intertwined with hers as they sped down the corridor into the trauma room. His hand slipping from hers as his footsteps stopped behind the door.  He stood there at a loss, he had lost her, he had failed her. His legs gave in as his knees bashed against the hospital floor a thud sounding replicating the thud in his heart.

 Neela looked at Neil closing her eyes in recognition to his pain. She turned around trying to gather some strength before deciding to leave and phone everyone else. Neil was still in the same position, his eyes glazed over with tears as they stung his eyes and slipped out mixing with the sweat and blood that was painted across his chiselled features. He found it difficult to speak as he chocked upon his own sobs, his back now laying up against the wall;his arms hanging loosely across his knees, his heart had split into two and was hanging at the pit of his chest, his heartbeats were completely out so sink as he peeked through the window  where Avni was being treated, her heart machine was beeping crazily. His hand rested on the window, his calloused warm hand meeting the coolness of the frame. He was dying with her. Without her. The beeping stopped as the doctors looked at each other. 

Neil staggered backwards, tripping on his own two feet. He wasn't going to believe she was gone, hell no he didn't give his consent, she didn't ask him. how could she leave? He rubbed at his eyes that had turned red with anger, at Avni, at his uncle, at Dayawanti, at the world but above all he was angry with God. How could he unite them only to tear them apart, almost like ripping a band aid of harshly. His heart stung, the helplessness settling back in like the clouds on a rainy day. He should have saved her? He should have protected her? How could he fail her like that? How could he fail his family? How could he have failed himself? People walked past, pity setting in his eyes at the grown man who was weeping but they wouldn't understand... they wouldn't understand the pain he was going through of loosing her for good. He wasn't ready to let her go, not after he just got her back, he kept telling himself that it was some type of sick joke, that she was fine that she would be fine, that he could love the pain within her away. That he could heal the pain with his love. He was scared. So scared, he had wasted so much time life had been cruel and he hated everything and everyone. 

Neela walked back down to see Neil back on the floor, tears streaking his face, she knew he needed to give his heart a break before it broke into billions of pieces. The rest of the family gathered behind Neela as they all gazed at Neil front of him, but it wasn't the real Neil, this was the broken hearted lover Neil, this was the Neil who was mourning the love of his life. Neela walked forward after looking at the others behind her. "Neil Bacha." Neil's tear filled eyes met Neela's as he staggered upon his words "Ma. she..the...the heart monitor stopped." Neela looked down at him as a sob ripped from her throat as the other took a moment to process before hell broke lose cries where heard from the family as the realisation at the state that she had been in, as they realised just how much she had endured these past weeks, she didn't deserve it, she deserved all the happiness in the world and the family shuddered at the thought...here she was lying down fighting for her life, fighting to breathe just once more, fighting for an opportunity. One by one they all sat down anticipating the wait for something..anything just a strand of hope. Neil gathered himself up and walked away, his family letting him go, he walked before plopping down in front of the almighty his hands folded in a begging manner "Please...please don't take her from me. Please." 

His eyes closed the tiredness settling. his heart thumping in pain. He felt a firm hand on his shoulder his eyes opening as they made contact with a set of hazel eyes, carrying the warmth that Neil desperately needed, the old man sat besides Neil. "At the time of great loss, your world gives way to sights and sounds of horror. It is as if you were walking in the street and a truck ran you down -emotionally. The loved one is gone, but you are still here. And you ask, 'How can that be?' The lost will impact every part of your being. Not only can you not think straight, but activities run on automation. To call it 'walking in a daze,' doesn't approach the dark clouds that amass inside your skull. There is a mental tornado in there, which no-one can see nor comprehend. One may "shut down" for weeks, even months. Then, one day, the lost gravitates into new reality. You are not the only one to suffer, and you realise that this is not the last time you will encounter great loss. At that point, all memories connected to the lost one will become bitter-sweet. You can remember all the good times, relive them, and still move on with your life. The point is Boy, i know it hurts, i know what its like to have to sit here and pray for the life of the one that you love...but this isn't the end you have to build yourself up from the ruins that your laying in, who knows maybe there is something in store for both of you and your going to have to be able carry the weight of responsibility. Don't give up, Not yet. Believe in your love and use that as your guide to pave the way for you." 

With that the old man left, and Neil left to shortly after, the man was right he needed to hold on for both of them. Neil reached back just as the doctor walked out. "Family of Mrs Avni Khanna?" They all turned to the doctor as Neil pushed forth waiting for the doctor to speak. "We had some complications, the state that she was brought in i have no idea how she lasted up till now, we lost her for a minute but due the Almighty's grace she came around, but her injuries are severe she is extremely malnourished , and has bruising everywhere, we have controlled the bleeding and cleaned her up..." The doctors eyes held a sense of pity. "Umm there is no easy way to say this... Mrs Khanna was 7 weeks pregnant. " 

The family looked up in shock and slight happiness. "But..." With one word the happiness diminished in their eyes, "We had to do a standard protocol, Mr Khanna as a police officer you would know that it protocol for us to have to do the rape kit and i'm sorry to say but Mrs Khanna was in fact raped and due to the condition that she was in and the physical and mental trauma that she's been through...i'm sorry...your baby is gone." 

TBC

Author's note:

Hey everyone thank you so much for all of your support and patience in waiting for this update i hope you enjoyed this and i hope it was worth the wait, thanks for everything i love you all.