Homestuck Scenarios

~ Shark Week (Ancestors)

The Signless/The Sufferer

Signless became your mother throughout the whole week ever since you told him what a period was.

"You bleed yet survive? Amazing!" He touched your belly.

"This would've helped me during my execution! Thanks Gog." Signless said sarcastically.

You stared at him. "Signless... That's not how it works..."

"Do not deter me woman! I know how this truly works!"

"No... No you don't..." You munched on a piece of white chocolate. (FUCKING DELICIOUS I SWEAR)

The Handmaid

The Handmaid, with hundreds of sweeps of experience, had no idea what to do at all.

"Must I... Do you desire tea?" She stared at your quivering form.

"Yes please." You reply shakily.

The Aries looked around for tea leaves but all she found were bags.

"What. Are. These?" She said disgusted.

You looked up confused. "Tea bags?"

She fell over shock written all over her face. "What savagery is this...?"

The Summoner

"pLEASE (Y/N)!"

"NO SUMMONER."

"bUT PLEASE!"

"NO GODDAMMIT I AM NOT HAVING SEX WITH YOU."

"bUT IT WILL CURE YOUR PAIN." He winked.

You slap him across the face successfully finishing him.

The Ψiioniic/The Helmsman

"2o... II2 iit just normal for thii2 two happen?" Ψiioniic rubbed your feet.

"Yeah... Can you do my back next?" You sigh. Goddamn was Ψiioniic good at massage.

"2ure babe. Then we can take the boy2 out two Di2neyland?" He flips you over.

"Later.~" You sigh in content as he starts loosening those pesky knots.

The Disciple

Disciple never stopped asking questions.

"Why does your Gog curse you with such pain?" Disciple asked as you tried to fall asleep.

"It's nature Disciple..." You mumble cuddling close to her chest.

"You humans are purrculiar." She ran her fingers through your hair.

The Dolorosa

Just as you'd expect Dolorosa became your guardian angel.

"Is The Food To Your Liking?"

"Are You Comfortable?"

"Might You Need More Warmth?"

"May I Bring You More Blood Soakers?"

It was awkward as it was charming.

Neophyte Redglare

Redglare originally thought that you'd been stabbed seeing as you were a heavy bleeder.

"1 PROM1S3 TH4T WHO3V3R 1S R3SPONS1BL3 W1LL B3 HUNG TO D34TH." She hissed in anger.

Cheekily you replied, "How you gonna kill God?"

She smirked. "There are ways..."

Sometimes you shouldn't ask questions.

Marquise Spinneret Mindfang

Mindfang had to put up with your bitching. It wasn't better when you went out to sea either.

"Mindfaaaangg...!" You whine.

The pirate groaned. "What. Now?" She was currently writing in her diary.

You point to your heating pad. "Paaaasssss....!"

Your current state irked her to no end but she still did everything for you.

E%ecutor Darkleer/The Expantri8

He freaked out at the sight of your blood.

"My maiden bleeds!" He cry. "I shall find whoever caused such a crime."

"Calm down there Thor. No need for a Shakespearean drama."

He's still a mess even when you tell him to calm the fuck down.

The Grand Highblood

The GHB was fucking irrational during your period.

He'd lash out at anyone who dare be in your presence.

When asked why he just say:

"my lil mama don't need to deal with more bullshit than she already has to."

Orphaner Dualscar

Dualscar would take time off as captain under the guise that he was meeting with the Condesce when really he was taking care of you.

"Aye brought ye some goods ye asked fer." He gave you your favorite snack.

"Can you rub my tummy Dually?" He'd groan at that nickname but couldn't deny you.

"Sure thing darlin'."

Her Imperious Condescension/ The Condescence

Holy crap was the Condesce terrifyingly nice when you bled from your underwear parts.

"Want me to bring you some warm water?" She'd smile genuinely.

It freaked you the fuck out.