The Wheel

56. Sam

She doesn't have any dirt on me! I'm one hundred percent sure of it!

"Mr. Virani," Ayama said to me, "What do you think about the current condition of information security?"

"If we're talking about keeping classified data, in this case that kind of security is pretty developed, but if we're talking about the privacy of our life then it's just an illusion that our personal information is only available to us."

"I can't argue with that," Ayama said approvingly, "nevertheless you try to everything what's possible to protect yourself. You don't use social networks and seal the camera lens on your laptop. And I'm not even talking about the fact that you go online, only using an anonymous browser."

"The privacy of my life is very important to me," I said. "I don't like the idea of a stranger going through my account and seeing what I do and what's happening in my life."

"What made you so secretive?"

"I'm afraid something I don't want to be known will get on the Internet. Sometimes I get scared when, for example, Chris looks at his phone and laughs. Sometimes I have nightmares about one video where..."

"...have you ever had a diarrhea in the pool?" she tried to joke.

"There was an awkward silence. It's not funny at all!

"...where it's shown what web-sites I visit, what videos I download..." my hands are shaking and there is a lump in my throat. "Sometimes I think that there is a hidden video surveillance that records me! Every now and then I check my room in the dorm to make sure it's not true."

"It has already happened to you. hasn't it?" asked Ayama suggestively.

Get your act together, Sam. Just tell them - you weren't the one it happened to.

"One day my classmate's phone was taken on the sly and someone was going through her browser history. All the students got anonymous screenshots of the web-sites she visited, "I remembered. "Talking to the school administration or the attempts to find the one who was sending out the screenshots didn't help! She was so good, so kind; she just had some weirdness around her. Her name was Monica, she had beautiful blue eyes and a mysterious smile..."

"Were you two dating, Mr. Virani?"

"Yes," I nodded, "I wanted to shield her from the mocking, but it was pointless. She was about to transfer to another school, but...she committed a suicide."

I remembered the moment when I found out about her death and looked down sadly.

"It wasn't fair!" I declared. "She didn't deserve it! We all have some dirty secrets on our freaking phones: it's not a big deal! I understood what she was feeling, I tried to help her! I supported her! It's unfair! After her death, I was told I was the next one, whose browser history or even more would go public.

I was breathing slowly and was trying to remember who told me that.

"Luckily, it was some senior's joke," I continued. "We haven't talked since, but this wretched fear follows me wherever I go! How that senior could tell me that after Monica's death?"

"What are you afraid of the most, Mr. Virani?" she asked the most dreaded question. "Which nightmare is the worst for you?"

I just need to say what Ayama wants to hear. One. Two. Three.

"I'm afraid that someone will post a video where I watch porn," I said as fast as I could.

My hands start shaking even harder, and I anticipate the worst. But she doesn't have anything to hold over my head! Or she had me recorded on a hidden camera? But how did she know what I'm scared of the most?