PHAN ONE SHOTS

The Hardest Choice (Why Me pt 2)

Dans POV~
I've been sitting in my house for days, not really doing any necessary things like YouTube, eating, or sleeping. I guess I'm depressed. Phil has been the only thing on my mind and for some reason, I've been pushing him away; Ignoring all calls and texts from him AND Emma. But what do I do? I don't want to see him again or I'll just be overwhelmed with wanting to kiss him. My reflection in the mirror was pale and messy haired, dark circles under my eyes. I sighed, running my hands through the curls of my hair. "What the fuck is wrong with me?" My phone buzzed on my dresser, but I ignored it and stared up at the ceiling. Why am I this upset? It was just a kiss.  A small simple kiss. A small simple kiss that makes not even me, understand why I want him so much. At the time, the kiss made my stomach flip and my cheeks burn. I smiled at the thought of his lips against mine, even for that moment.

Knock Knock Knock.

I got up and walked to the door, wondering who it was that would even be here. I opened it slightly and looked out the crack. "Hi, Dan." Phil smiled timidly.

I choked on my voice. "Hi, Phil." After a second, I realized how rude it was to make him just stand outside. "Come in."

Phil stepped in my house and turned around to look at me. His bright eyes met my dark ones and here we were. I couldn't have been more right. I was overwhelmed with the lust to have my lips on his again. I swallowed and avoided his eye contact. "I just wanted to talk about the other day..." Phil started. Oh no, I already know what's coming. He's going to say that it was a mistake. He's going to say that he regrets it. I can't even begin to imagine what I'll do if I hear those words. I'm scared, so scared, of rejection.

"What did you want to talk about?" My voice was shaking.

"Um, i told Emma. She said it hurts a lot, but she wants to support me in any decision."

I strive to be that supportive. Emma has always loved Phil unconditionally and always made sure he was happy. "Oh. So what then?" I wasn't trying to sound mean. I just know what's coming.

"I need to know how much you love me." He didn't hesitate. He just looked straight at me and said it.

"Love you?" I paused and looked up at him for a second and then turned my head to the window. I didn't think about the fact that "love" was even a factor in this. "

"Do you love me?" He asked, as if it was the easiest thing in the world for him to talk about.

"I guess I do. I don't know how much yet."

"How do you know you love me?"

I finally looked back up, "I don't really know. But I do know that you haven't been off my mind for a long time and every time I see you i feel better." I stopped talking for a second, maybe I could read his expression. "Part of the reason I broke up with her is because I didn't feel the same way anymore."

Phil nodded, slowly. "I don't know what to do."

I smiled sadly. "Seems like this conversation is a lot of I don't knows."

"Well, mostly."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I know two things. I know you love me and I know that I have to choose someone." He smiled a bit, too. "I think Emma's hurting... and i think that's all my fault." I stayed silent, I wanted to know what he's going to say next. "There's this guy who's had his eye on Emma for so long and I think he'd be better for her, not hurt her like i did. Dan," Him saying my name gave my butterflies for some reason. I tried to ignore it, listening to what he has to say. "And i also think I want to be with you."

I smiled and looked down at my feet again, bashfully. Then I frowned. "But Emma?"

"I don't know. We talked last night and she doesn't know what she wants, but she'll support me in my decision."

"Is she okay?"

"No," He frowned too. "But she wants both of us to be happy, whether it's me and you or me and her." Should I hurt Emma like this? She's been nothing but a sweetheart, and here I am, talking to her boyfriend about dating him.

"I don't know." Was all I could muster. Of course with all my heart I want to be with him. But I also don't want to hurt Emma. "I don't want Emma to be hurt."

"She doesn't want you to be hurt. I mean, look at you! You're not taking care of yourself." He scoffed and gestured to me. "I don't want you to be hurt! Emma is going to be okay, and I want to take care of you."

It hit me, like a truck speeding down a highway. He wants me, not Emma. So I took all my courage and looked him straight into his blue eyes. "Do you want me or Emma?"

"I think I want you." Phil said matter of factly. "Actually..." He stopped to step toward me and lean close to me. "I know I want you."

My breath hitched as Phil gently touched his lips to mine again and I felt his slender arms wrap around my body.

I was happy. I wasn't sure how this was going to go, but I know that right here, and right now, I am in Phils arms and he won't let me go for a long time.