everything I didn't say

ten

A few people sit around us and look at me weird, before finally speaking up and asking Julie and Jared who I am.

"This is Niall's girlfriend." Jared says right as Niall walks beside him.

"She's not my girlfriend." He grumbles in a harsh way. "That's just Leah."

I wave my hand at them and they smile and wave back at me.

The group begins to play a game of truth or dare that I ignore, and Niall waves me back over to him. I head that way.

"I'm bored, wanna go upstairs?" He asks me. I look around. Nobody is paying attention to us so I nod. "Sure."

We go up the stairs and he shows me to his room. 

"It's nice," I say, looking around. I find a shelf with picture frames on it and glance at them. I assume it is friends, and I assume the two older people he poses by in one are his parents.

I find one with him and a girl, his girlfriend. "She's very pretty." I say.

 I see his reflexion in the glass of the frame. He grabs the frame from my hands and puts it back on the shelf. "You talk about her too much."

"I've talked about her like twice now?" I turn around as he moves to his closet. "That's twice too many."

I roll my eyes as he sits down on his bed. "Guess I'm not allowed to be curious."

"I'm not curious about you, why are you curious about me?" He asks, taking his shirt off.

"You're rude tonight." I remark instead.

"Anymore interrogation or are you done?" He looks back at me.

"How long did you two know each other?" I ask Niall and he just looks at me quizically. "You know, before you fell in love."

He laughs at me, knowing my curiousity about his girlfriend has risen again. "I never said anything about being in love with anybody."

"Sorry, I just, I assumed-"

"I know you did. Girls are always so quick to assume. I do love her, but I'm not in love with her. There's quite a huge difference."

"Well, have you ever been in love?"

He stops and he thinks about my question. Before he answers, I speak again, "obviously you haven't. If you have, you wouldn't have to think about it. It would come to mind immediately."

"Okay, have you?"

I shake my head. "Nope."

"And why not?"

"I've just never met someone worth falling in love over."

"You will one day. Hell, maybe you already have and you just didn't know you're gonna love them yet." 

"What are you suggesting?" I ask.

He puts his hands on both sides of my legs and leans his face down towards mine, but keeps the distance there. "You just never know." He whispers.

"I don't really seem like the type to fall in love though."

"I wouldn't say that, I think you're exactly the type." He disagrees.

"I'm nineteen, I'm pretty sure if I was going to fall in love spontaneously I would have already."

"There's no time frame on love, Leah."

"What?"

"It could take two hours, two days, or even two decades. There in no amount of time that labels how much you love or how in love you are with someone."

I smile, I fully agree with what he is saying. "I didn't know you thought like that."

He giggles. "Come on, you're not the only hopeless romantic in the world, you know." 

"I do not take you for a hopeless romantic, my bad." I put up my hands in defense.

"You seem to underestimate me." He winks and pats the bed beside him. "Come sit by me." 

"No."

He raises his eyebrow and smirks at me. "No? Am I gonna have to get up and come get you?"

I laugh and continue looking around his room. I hear movement behind me and feel his arms grab around my waist. He lifts me off the ground and carries me over to the bed, laying me flat on his back. He hovers above me, pinning me down.

"Get off of me." I laugh, giving him a light shove.

"No." He taughts, sticking his tongue out playfully. I shove him again and he doesn't budge, just looks into my eyes. 

"Are you ready?" He asks, though I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be ready for. He leans down with a smile, and I know he's about to kiss me again.

He does, this is a more powerful kiss than the first, and it is deeper too.

"Woah," I hear in the doorway. Someone sees Niall on top of me and I flush with embarassment, pushing him aside. He rolls to my side on the bed and I sit up. Jared stands in the doorway, laughing.

"Hey Leah." He raises both of his eyebrows and gives me a devilious smile. I bury my face in my hands while Niall laughs beside me. 

"Julie, I found her!" He calls into the hallway and sure enough, Julie rushes to his side.

"Oh god," She looks between the two of us and I shake my head. 

Jared drags Julie by her arm out of the doorway, saying she needs to give us our privacy. 

Niall giggles beside me as I hide my face in my palms again. 

"That's embarrassing," I say to him and he winks at me. "Let her think what she whats, it doesn't matter."

"I'll never hear the end of this." I say between sighs. 

"It's not like we were doing anything."

"That's probably not what it looked like to Jared." 

"Let him think what he wants."

"How are you not embarrassed by this?"

"That'd be a compliment if he thinks I can hook up with a girl like you."

"A girl like me?" I cross my arms, offended.

"God, calm down, not what I meant." He rolls his eyes. "I just meant that you're beautiful, and if he thinks I can land a girl like you, that's a huge compliment."

"Oh." Is all I say, trying to find my smile.

"Oh?" He repeats.

"Right, thanks." I smile at him. 

"What to know something about me nobody knows?" He asks me and I turn to look at him. I nod with a smile on my face.

"I am really, really unhappy."

"What? I always see you smiling and having a good time, you're really unhappy?" He lays back against the bed, looking up at the ceiling.

"I am. I don't know why, I just always find myself feeling sad when I'm alone and I start thinking."

"So stop thinking about the things that make you unhappy when you're alone."

"It's not as simple as just 'stop being unhappy' you know? I feel like you would understand that better than anyone." He shrugs, still looking at the ceiling.

"I do understand that, but I want to know what kind of things make you unhappy."

"I feel like I'll never be good enough for anyone the way I should be." He sits up on his elbows. "Do you understand that?"

I nod. "I feel that way all the time, that I'll always be less than what everyone expects."

"We might just have a few things in common." He hits my shoulder and we giggle together.

"Leah, can I take you out sometime?" He randomly asks me. I think about it for a second, looking at him and weighing my choices. "Sure." I smile.