everything I didn't say

twenty two

"Uh, hey." He says sternly. He looks between us and at the same space between where we're sitting on the couch.

"Tanner." He greets his friend, and Tanner returns it the same way.

"Leah, what are you doing?" He asks me and I squint my eyes at him, dumbfounded.

"What are you doing? You left me." I roll my eyes. Niall ignores my comment and directs his full attention to Tanner.

"Sorry man, but she has a date. She's here with me." He tells him and I scoff.

"I'm allowed to talk to people, Niall." I defend myself but they both ignore me.

"She told me she was here alone." Tanner counters. Niall glares at me.

"You what?" The double standard lives on another day.

"I am here alone." I defend myself to both of these boys. 

"No, you agreed to come here with me as my date." He turns back to Tanner. "She's on a date with me."

"You took her to a party? Come on Niall, you're better than that."

"We can talk about that when we get her to go on a date with you." Niall crosses his arms over his chest.

"Okay, Leah, would you like to go on a date with me?" Tanner raises his eyebrow at me.

Niall narrows his eyes and glares back at me. "You better tell him no." He demands to me. "I'm serious, Leah, if you say yes to him I'm leaving." 

I'm tempted to tell him yes only to irritate Niall, but the serious look in his eyes and the angry frown on his face makes me believe he really will leave and be upset with me.

"I'm really sorry," I say. "You seem very nice, but I can't." I tell Tanner, making him smile.

"Damn, Niall's not even loyal to you and he's got you on a leash."

"Coming from the guy that can't keep a girl for more than a week." 

"I'm amazed you can keep this one." He eyes me. "You could do better." He whispers, and I erupt in a laugh when Niall reaches down and hits Tanner's arm.

"Tanner, leave them alone." Julie says, coming up behind him. 

"Julie!" Tanner laughs, hugging her. She hugs him back and smiles. "Are you giving them a hard time?"

"You know me, of course I am." I watch the two banter as Niall gently grabs my elbow.

"Thank you," he whispers. "For saying no, that is."

I pull my arm from his reach. "I'm mad at you."

"You always are. What did I do this time?" I roll my eyes.

"You ditched me for some girl and told her you didn't have a date, you ass."

"No, I didn't."

"Don't lie to me." I laugh. "I do the same and you get pissed at me."

"I'm controlling, what can I say?"

"You're rude, is what you are."

"It's just who I am, I'm sure you'll get used to it." He smiles, making me feel slightly better.

"I'll get used to it will I?" I shake my head.

"You'll have to, because I'm not going anywhere." 

"You're going home, and taking me with you. Parties suck."

He shakes his head and laughs. "Still not used to them?" He holds out his hand and I grab it. "I'll never get used to them." I admit.

"That's okay. Think we can walk back to the apartment from here?" He asks as we reach the staircase.

"I'm sure it won't be too bad." I lie. I know it's about a mile or two and it's not gonna be fun.

We reach the door and I look to my feet. "Shit." I mumble.

"What?" Niall asks.

"I'm not wearing good walking shoes." I laugh. He looks at my heels and laughs too.

"Barefoot it is." I kneel down to unstrap my heels.

"That's nasty, don't walk barefoot." Niall rejects. "I got you."

He turns his back to me and bends his knees. "What are you doing?"

"Get on." He instructs.

"You can't carry me all the way there, that will throw out your back or something." I laugh.

"You're like the perfect little size, you can't throw out my back. Get on."

"No." I protest again. "I'm fine walking without shoes."

He turns to me and groans, bending down and grabbing my waist. He throws me over his shoulder in a cliche movie motion. "I don't think my dress is long enough for you to be holding me like this." I say as he walks towards the sidewalk.

"Are you willing to get on my back then?" He asks.

"Anything for you to put me down, I don't like it back here." I giggle against his back.

"You've been giggling an awful bunch tonight." He says as my feet hit the ground.

He turns and I jump on his back as promised, forgetting what he mentioned a second ago about my laugh or something.

"How does it feel to have your first drink?" He asks me.

"Terrible. You're an ass for that, by the way."

"It's all they had. I found out it had shit in it after you already finished your first cup. Sorry."

"It's okay. Illegal, but okay." He laughs when I say illegal.

"Think you'll do it again?" He peers over his shoulder at me. Raises his eyebrow.

"No, probably not. Maybe, who knows."

"You aren't allowed to drink at a party or around other guys though."

"You can't make rules for me." I retort.

"I can when you could possibly do something you'd regret."

I roll my eyes. "No drinking when I'm not around, got it?" 

I smile to myself a little at his protectiveness. "What if even when I'm drinking around you I still possibly do something I'd regret?"

"I wouldn't let that happen." He shakes his head. He looks straight forward again instead of back at me. I brush off his seriousness. 

"Okay, but what about you? Don't I get to make rules for when you drink?"

"No, because I'm of legal age and can do whatever I want." I see him playfully stick his tongue out at me. I laugh.

"But what if I don't want you drinking around other girls?" 

"I won't." I nod. I don't know if I just feel empowered or what, but I feel like pushing the conversation to a bigger point.

I catch Niall looking up to the sky, not at me, but at the stars. "What are you thinking?" I say quietly to him. He doesn't answer. "Niall?"

Niall stops walking and his grip around my legs loosens and I'm dropped from his back. Luckily I can catch myself and not fall. 

"We're, uh, we're back at your apartment." He points up to my building and I look. We are.

"You're not going to come in?" I ask.

"We have stuff to talk about, Leah, but I don't think tonight is the night for it." He says.

"You're tired and I am too. Go to bed and I'll see you in the morning, okay?" 

I don't want him to go but I nod anyways. "Okay, goodnight." I squeak.

He leans in and plants a kiss on my cheek followed by a small one on my lips.

"Goodnight." He disappears through the parking lot and I see him get in his car. Seconds later his headlights hit my body as he drives past me.