everything I didn't say

seventeen

I wake up on the couch with several blankets tangled around me. I rub my eyes and hear noise in the kitchen. I pull the blankets off of me and sit up. Wonder what time it is and if whoever is in the kitchen is making breakfast.

"Not really man, I don't think I'll be back home until Christmas." One of the kitchen's occupants, Niall, says. I listen.

"When was the last time you went back?" The other, Jonathon obviously, asks. I guess Niall thinks because there is a pause. "May or June, I think. It's been awhile." He sighs, loudly.

"Is your girl gonna be there when you go?" Jonathon asks him, and my stomach kinda stings at the term. Your girl, his girlfriend, not me. "Maybe, I'm not even sure. I don't even think I want to see her again. It sucks going from not seeing each other for eight months at a time to seeing her for two days and then waiting again another eight months for another two days."

"I can only imagine, I would hate the whole distance shit. I'm glad I got Ali right here whenever I need her." Where is Ali? Probably in her room still asleep. "So what's the deal with Leah, then?" Suddenly I smile, glad I'm listening since I'm being brought up.

"I don't really know." Niall huffs. "She's a great girl, but she seems really reserved." I have to hold my hand to my mouth to stop myself from laughing. I am not reserved.

"So she doesn't ever tell you how she feels?"

"Dude, slow down. I've known her for like a month. I don't think she's supposed to show much emotion." He laughs. I roll my eyes.

"So, you don't like her then?" I bite my lip in anticipation of his answer.

"No, I do. She's a really cool girl to be around."

"Are you gonna tell Samantha about her?" Jonathon questions, and I raise my eyebrow. Yeah, Niall, are you going to tell her?

"Why would I tell Samantha?" Niall snorts, okay. "You don't think you should?"

"I hang out with girls all the time and now you're saying I should tell her?" I hear some cabinets opening.

"Well, I just meant that you've been 'hanging out' with this girl a bit too much for a lad with a girlfriend." 

"She's my friend, Jon." He says and I don't know if it's a good or bad thing.

"I'm not telling Samantha." Niall finally states, he sounds firm and I know he means what he's saying. "Okay," Jonathon defends. A door opens somewhere, I hear it. I lay back down on the couch, pretending to sleep. I hear Ali walk out. "Morning boys, where's Leah?"

"Couch." Niall replys in just as cold a tone as before. Someone walks over to me and pats me on the shoulder. "Wake uppppppp." Ali grumbles and I turn, facing her, fake blinking my eyes open. "Good morning." I chuckle. I get up and out of the covers and off the couch.

Entering the kitchen, I see some bacon on the counter and I go straight for it, Ali does the same after me. I take a bite from it, staring at Niall.

"Why are ya looking at me like that?" He asks me and I just shrug my shoulders. 

A warning sign in my brain has went off. This guy does have a girlfriend, and it's not me. I can't do that to her, even if I don't know her and she doesn't know what's going on. I would not him to do the same thing to me as we are doing to her. I look away from him, to the floor. I count the tiles on the row in front of me while they talk. Nineteen. 

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"One thing I miss about Ireland is the cool air in the fall and winter months."