Chapter 1

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Trigger Warning ⚠️
Self-Harm

Lance's POV
"Lance! Are you even paying attention?!" Allura shouts at me with anger. She was explaining what we were doing to do for today's missing, but me being the useless person I am, I spaced out and didn't hear a word she said.

"No, I wasn't.....sorry" my voice is quiet and lifeless. I have my head hung in shame as I can hear Pidge scoff, Shiro sigh with disappointment and Keith mutter 'useless' under his breath.

Useless. That's what I am. Useless.

"Well. Since Lance wasn't listening, I am now going to have to explain the whole mission again." She's clearly infuriated at me and is trying to hold back her true feeling about my worthless soul. "This time Lance. PAY ATTENTION!" Her expression is scolding me as she speaks, but I'm use to it.

"Now. This is a simple mission of collecting data and intel. We are going to go into the main Galra ship and Pidge is going to hack into the mainframe." She pauses to look at me, making sure that I am listening. "Whilst Pidge is doing that, you Lance, Keith and Shiro, will rescue any person you find."

I give her a curt nod to show that I understand, then I walk out without a single word. As I am leaving I can hear whispers and laughs.
'I knew they would have fun without me, talking about how worthless I am'

My footsteps echo as I walk down the Castle hallways towards my room, I was almost at my door when I heard blue call out to me.

'My cub, come to me' Blue is always so sweet when she talks to me, nobody ever talks to me like that.

I immediately change directions and head for Blue's hanger. My hands are stuffed in the pockets of my jacket and my hood is over my head. I walk back past the main deck and can't help but to hear an exchanging of words.

"Ha! Yeah, he can't do anything right." I think that's Pidge talking, I can tell by the boisterous laugh.

"He needs to take things seriously, war isn't a joke." That's definitely Shiro. I can just imagine him with his arms crossed and that disapproving look.

"I mean he can do stuff" my eyes lit up when I heard Keith say that, but were quickly shot down when I heard what followed. "But nothing usefull."

I can't take anymore of what they are saying, so I sprint to Blue with tears running down my face.

When I get there she opens up and I dash inside. I can hear her talking to me but I don't listen as I search for my blade.
Found it.

"Please my cub, don't do it. It will only make things worse" She tells me, I know she is right but I need this.

I pull down my pants to reveal thighs that are covered in scars and recent cuts.

"Please don't, we can talk instead" She tries to reason with me, 'she's the best'. However I don't listen.

"Sorry Blue....hic...But I n-need this" I say with choked words. With that said, I sit down in the pilot seat and slowly drag the blade across my skin again and again.

Useless
(Cut)
Jokester
(Cut)
Screw Up
(Cut)
Worthless
(Cut)

The list goes on until I have 10 in each thigh. They are not deep cuts at all, they are just enough to be there, to sting at the slightest breath of air.

It does take long for the blood to dry, I don't bother to bandage or patch them up because I don't care. I wipe the tear stains from my face and stare at the roof.

"I'm sorry Blue, I'll try better next time" I even manage to disappoint her. I know she can feel my guilt because she starts to purr and reassure me that it is ok and that I am amazing. I don't believe her though.

My eyes begin to droop and my head begins to bob as I start to fall asleep. All the crying has worn me out, not to mention the fact that I haven't actually slept in 4 days.

I let the purrs of Blue carry me off into a much needed rest as darkness consumes me.

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Hi. I'm the author SketchItArt.
This is my second story and I hope to update regularly.

Hope you like it 😊
Have a great day or night 😊

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