JeffMads Modern AU | Year 1 {Complete}

Wishing I was with Him

Ok hi!! Before we start off I have a few things... the first being a trigger warning ⚠️. There is a rape mention but not full detail and then some self harm, Again no immense detail.

Umm... If you're not up for reading it... then don't. It's simple. I'm feeling angst-y so I decided to turn this story into an angst fest. So read at your Own risk.

And let's begin...

***ANOTHER DISCLAIMER***
Okay so it's 2/12/19 as of now. I wrote this chapter 8/31/18. Okay so I was in a really rough spot upon writing this. Although I do want to say, writing is an outlet for me, I can channel my emotions though writing and it helps so much. I just want you to know that I am much happier, even though my life is falling apart for the 5th time in a year. I never really did anything that James does in this chapter, I do admit I did it once or twice but I'm okay for now and I've made it through it. I don't really write from experience, I'm so thankful that I've never been physically abused, and if  you have been I encourage you to speak up about it. I'm not going to edit anything in this chapter but I just want you to know that you are loved and you are so so so so so so so so so important. I truly appreciate you reading my art, even if it is about freaking founding fathers(though I do see them as fictional characters and not the REAL founding fathers... they just have the same names... and honestly if you're not in the Hamilton fandom it's hard to explain. I DONT SHIP THE REAL, LEGIT FOUNDING FATHERS.) ok so you can just skip this chapter if you want, you won't miss too much.
And thanks for reading this long monologue, lol. //

We got in just fine. No one even gave us a second look. My id said I was born 4 years earlier then I really was.

The bar was grimy and people were everywhere. I could feel the sweat radiating off of everyone. I was burning in my sweater.  Charles weaved in and out of the crowds effortlessly, obviously being in this setting before. I held onto his hand as tight as possible. There was no way in hell that I was going to get lost in here.

Charles turned around and said something to me, but over the talking and music I couldn't hear him.

He led us to the counter.

"What y'all have on tap tonight?" He said to the bartender.

"Gotcha some Stella, Brooklyn-"

"2 Brooklyns" Charles reached into his pocket and slapped a $20 bill on the table.

"I need an ID."

"Oh I wouldn't suggest otherwise." He pulled it out and presented it. I had to admit they were pretty realistic.

The bartender nodded and went off to pour the beers.

"Ever had beer, love?" Charles yelled to me.

I shook my head, no. I hadn't. And I didn't really want to, until I was 21, and allowed to.

"Ha! Well you're in for a treat!" He smiled and then grabbed the glasses and shoved one in my hand.

I held onto the glass cup for dear life, not wanting to drop it.

"We'll drink together ok?"

I nodded. My heart buzzed to the beat of the music. I don't think I could try it. My hands trembled, everything about the situation seemed wrong.

"3... 2... 1!" Charles brought the glass up and started chugging it.

I held it at my nose and took a smell. Ew. I wanted to throw up but I swished some into my mouth quickly. I gagged, and Charles started laughing. I set my drink down and covered my mouth with my hand.